What do you do with BM's mail that still comes to your house?
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BM and FH have been divorced for a few years now yet some of her mail still comes here. Junk mail, alumni stuff etc. The junk I pitch but what about the other stuff? Should I ask her or have FH ask her to notify alumni and other organizations of her change of address or should I simply put "Refused. Return to Sender" and put in back in the mail?
Federal offense?
If it's real mail, I've HEARD (that doesn't make it true) that it's a federal offense to destroy it. I have marked things "Addressee Unknown - Return to Sender" and put it back in the mailbox.
You have no obligation to deliver it to her and the sender will attempt to correct their records rather than waste the postage continuing to send it to your address and it should stop fairly soon. You can do it with the junk mail too and it might help a little.
Blueberry's Baby
The only "real" mail is her
The only "real" mail is her alumni stuff. The rest consists of 10% discount postcard type mailings for stores that she has shopped at which is junk to me. But, I think I'll try the "Addressee Unknown - Return to Sender" route.
Well.........
My BM never lived in this house - thank goodness! But she is so dumb that when she takes the girls to the Dr., she will put her name on the paperwork and OUR address!! So, we get bills coming to our house with HER name on it. Doesn't she understand that bill collectors will follow the name and not the address?!!! AFTER I open the mail - I handle all bills and we're responsible for half of medical - I put it in a new envelope and mail it to her or give it to her through the kids. She NEVER used to do this with FH's last girlfriend, she just started this since we decided to get engaged and get married.
******My daddy always said: "It's better to be a SMARTASS, than a DUMBASS!******
Lucky you that you didn't
Lucky you that you didn't have to live in the "marital home". It sucks at times. I've done my best to "purge" the house of her stuff by returning things to her or tossing them out with FH's blessing. One day, we would like to get another house, but not happening until the real estate market comes back in our area.
Move it.
Bio said: "...One day, we would like to get another house, but not happening until the real estate market comes back in our area."
I'm not a realtor so i've got no financial reason to say this. Sell now. The home you're in may be "undervalued" but the one you buy is also. Its just a roof over your head. What you "lost" when you sold you "gain" when you buy.
The exception is if you owe more for the building than it can sell for. In that case you pay down the loan ASAP until you can break even then start over. The real market is not going to "come up" for years (plural) and maybe decades (plural). Meanwhile that home you're going to end up buying is going up also.
There are unique situations that are the exception but to just sit there waiting for the house you paid too much for could end up being your retirement home.
*********************
Since no one else will thank you for what you've done I will do so now. Thank you for being important in a kids life. Fifty years from now its the only thing that will matter about your existance.
Bingo on the exception...
We are upside down, owing more than what it's currently worth and by alot!
I am having this same
I am having this same problem. How can I get her to stop putting her name on our address? She has never lived here, and I am soon getting married, but our names are SOOO close I am scared our credit reports will get mixed up since she is using my address for alot of stuff now. Two of the kids live with me but she puts her name as responsible party. I am very frustrated that every time I take the kids to the doctor her name is with our address on the paperwork.
Any suggestions? How can I make her stop?
I'd wipe my ass with it....
OR.... throw it in the bag with dog poopie.... OR line the cat's litter box with it.... OR take the return envelope out of all the junk mail you receive.... put bm's mail in the return envelope and forward bm's mail to the junk mail place!
Let me know if you want more ideas! LOL.
LOL
LOL
That's the best thing I've heard all day!!!!
Perfect!
******My daddy always said: "It's better to be a SMARTASS, than a DUMBASS!******
Great Ideas!
See, I never thought of any of those. But, that is where the BM's mail belongs!
How about this one, call all
How about this one, call all her creditors and give them her new address, work numbers ect. so they can serve her for deliquent credit card accounts, file a lien, and garnish her pay.
Not here.
I just mark that stuff "not here" which is the truth and drop it in a outgoing mail box. Mmmm - don't forget the big lines over the original address to make sure they get it.
Usually I sign it illegibly and date it which gives it more credibility. Once I had to mail the repeated mailing back to the sender with a note saying that future letters would be destroyed unopened.
*********************
this BURNS my ASS
big time....... i bought the house we live in now ---- she has never even been associated with it -- never even in my yard/driveway --- and still some shit addressed to her comes here --- pretty much junck mail ---- but WTF?
If she's never lived there
If she's never lived there WHY on earth is her mail ever going there?
This is easy...
All you have to do is place "Return to Sender---No such person at this address." This is perfectly "legal" because you not opening mail (which, BTW, is a FEDERAL offense) and you are allowing the sender to know they need to make a correction. After writing on the outside of the envelope, I place it back in my own mailbox on top of all other outgoing mail. This helps my postal carrier know that this "person" doesn't live at this address thus no mail should come in his/her name.
Just a suggestion, but you can go down to the post office---place a change of address form with only the certain people that should be receiving mail to your address. This is usually only good if you are moving. What happens is only the mail with those people's names on the letters make it to the new house. Wonderful, eh?
I have lived in TWO different houses that only my DH & I have lived at and both times we have received some junk/collection letters. Although it has never really been an overwhelming amount of mail it is still annoying (for lack of a better word than I can think of right now). There was also a collection letter sent within the past year to MY mom's home with my DH's ex's name on it. My mom in turn filed a police report (I believe it was filed as "fraud").
One thing I would NEVER do is give his Ex her mail, whether I mailed it directly to her or hand-delivered it. I am not her messenger and I will not be used.
Take care,
Anne
"Sometimes you have to test the limits to show you're not a doormat."
You know, I think the last
You know, I think the last time I did the "Return to Sender. Addressee not at this address", the postal carrier put a question mark on the envelope and left it in my mailbox. I was like...ok, what now?
take it to the post office
I take BM's mail to the post office and tell them that this person does not live at this address and should not be receiving mail at this address either. I still get things from time to time, but that really helped. I also sent a note to her through SS's stuff that she needed to do something about her mail coming to my house because "you might miss something important because it came to the wrong address, so I would advise filling out a change of address form ASAP" She did I assume and the crap has pretty much sstopped except for her casino discount coupon card things...
Good luck, i know its irritating
I simply write on the envelope
the bitch don't live here and place in the mailbox! Just kidding I write return to sender and place it in the box.
"And this too shall pass..."
lmao..OUT LOUD! omg that was too funny...
Bms mail does come to our house sometimes and she has never been a resident in the home...ever. I wouldn't live there if he had shared it with another woman. It used to bug the sh*t out of me to see her name on mail at my house but you get used to it...you'll have to get used to it if they have a college fund for their kid or something like that.
Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha
LMAO
LMAO
Well thank you ladies! I thought it was quite funny too!
"And this too shall pass..."
We don't get BM mail,
but my DH freaks out when I get mail in my x married name. It's usually credit card offers, yeah, I'm approved but you don't know my name! LOL
But dude he FREAKS. He don't like it at all.
That's the next thing that irks me
That's the next thing that irks me that I know I can't do anything about...she kept my FH's last name. I know that some women do this for the sake of the kids etc. I didn't though... I dropped my XH's name as fast as a hot potato and reverted to my maiden name. We weren't married for a long time name, the relationship itself was tumultuous and having his name never really felt right. For me, I needed my identity back. In her case, she has always used her maiden name followed by FH's name even when they were married but some mail comes to her as [BM First Name] [FH Last Name]. Call me petty but whenever I send her stuff in the mail (not often) I make sure I include her maiden name followed by FH's name, sort of as a reminder I guess.
I have DH's name now,
but mail still comes that way. It's funny to watch him get so mad. I wish it wouldn't come either though, I hate seeing those two names put together!
I don't understand the keeping of the x's name either. BM, of course, still has DH's name.
Since she goes by her First
Since she goes by her First Name Middle Name Maiden Name FH Last Name, I wonder, if and when she marries BF, is she going to tack yet ANOTHER name on after FH's lastname? How ridiculous would that be? lol
Well, in my oh so humble opinion...
Have her come by to pick it up then......READY....AIM....FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :evil:
She hasn't darkened our door
She hasn't darkened our door in months and I'd like to keep it that way! We are civil now but the less interaction in my sacred environment, the better.
Last time sd's mom came over...
She burst into tears and wailing...I just stood there with a dumb look on my face like, "huhwha??" She never came back.
Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha
LOL, are you serious?
LOL, are you serious? Whenever BM comes here, she'll get down on the floor to try to coax the dog to give her kisses! The poor dog doesn't like her anymore and for good reason. During the divorce, she and FH rotated their stays in the house with SS. When she was here, and usually in bed sick or whatever, she didn't walk the dog much. There are still stains on the carpet (now hidden by furniture and rugs) from where the poor dog peed because he couldn't hold it any longer. He even peed on HER clothes in the closet! LOL.
I just thought...
That it would be a good reason to get her for trespassing on your property so you have every right to shoot her!
Nah, I don't want to shoot
Nah, I don't want to shoot her. Bitch slap at times, yes!
Actually...
BM stayed at their old house for 6 years after the divorce. Only recently, she moved. So, she received mail there addressed to Mr. and Mrs. DH and it was a thank you card for ME and DH...haha.
You can imagine her surprise. She dropped it in our mailbox...OPENED! Nosey b**ch!
Love
THe mailman put a question
THe mailman put a question mark on this letter you wrote return ot sender????? Is that a joke!? WHat he can't read? or maybe he is friends with her??? WTF?
I would write RETURN to sender! and even speak tot he mail man at the door and tell him RETURN TO SENDER, PERSON MOVED. MEANS TAKE IT BACK TO THE OFFICE! from crying out loud.
To open someone else mail is a federal offense....if you throw it, no proof there, how would they prove it? Even how would they prove they left it in your mail box...i had a few mailed letters that were put on my doorstep and they flew off to the neighbours once....lucky i found them on his lawn!
Yah, i always say move to a new house. new life, new ground. It makes a real stand for everyone. My stepkids have a diff attitude as well when they visit. Cause i think they know, its my house now...not dad's place.
Heck we have gotten junk
Heck we have gotten junk mail with my ex husband's name on it. We live in the house that my DH bought after his divorce not the house 45 minuets away that I owned with my ex husband. My ex lives in the same town we did when we were married & I now live on the otherside of the metro with a new last name and I get his junk mail???? We also get junk mail with DH's Ex wifes name on it & she never lived in this house. Who knows how this stuff works, even better my ex & I didn't have the same last name. It probably bothers mu husband more than it does me when it happens, it;s just junk mail & it goes in the garbage.
Take the mail to the
Take the mail to the postmaster and ask them to correct the situation and for them to hold it, that none is sent to your house.
They will handle that, free of charge.
Write "does not live here,
Write "does not live here, return to sender."
She has never lived here or
She has never lived here or had any association with my house but we still get crap for her. And her creditors will call the house even though the phone number was mine before we got married and it's still in MY maiden name. She has been married twice after my DH divorced her, go bug them. I used to send the mail back writing never lived here across it but her crap kept coming. Now I save my effort and just throw it in the fireplace unopened. BTW you guys are my only witness shhh don't tell
open it, read it, then rip
open it, read it, then rip it up and recycle it. federal offense my ass. if she's too dumb to change her address, that's her problem.