How about some support with the "venting"?
I understand about the venting that is needed. I need to vent too. It makes sense to have a safe place to do so without hurting anyone involved. But what i've seen on this site makes me kind of sick. Most people here don't just vent, they have hate in their hearts and feed the hatred with shocking comments and remarks. It's not cool to be an evil step mom. How about we vent and share our true feelings and at the same time support each other to get through it and look at things differently or help each other cope. When i see people calling their skids "brats" and "monsters" and openly writing how they are contributing to their skids awful behavior and making it worse and going down to the child's level, it makes me sick. Lets be true and vent as this site lets us do, but at the same time lets have compassion and try to help situations instead of feeding the hatred???? i thought i found a good place for honesty and support but it seems that i have been mistaken.
just a thought.
momof8
I understand what you are saying but to vent can be healthy and prevent those negative feelings from flowing over into our family lives. Venting really serves no purpose except to make the ventor feel better for getting it off their chests. We are adults and know it is not acceptable to treat SKIDS poorly in our homes; however, some skids behaviours are such that it becomes overwhelming. We could continue screaming at our spouses, who will become defensive because it is their children, or we can come here, get it all out, feel better and be ready for the next round.
I think you believe to much in what we are saying rather than just a vent. I think if you stick around, read blog histories, you will understand that this is a place for support and understanding. We are the stepparents caught in the extreme outer edges of parenting. Most BM's involved with our bunch have mental health issues which are passed onto the skids. We are not bashing them per se. Just sayings things in a safe environment that we know is not socially acceptable but what we almost all feel at times. There have been times that people have disagreed with a poster on say a course of action they took but with enough insight and knowledge of that person's experiences, the advice is heartfelt and meant to be helpful. Contrustive critism. Other times, we just need reassurance that our feelings are normal.
Have some faith in the maturity of the members. Stick around for a while and you will see.
We have had a big problem with what believe are BM's coming on this board in extreme attack mode with rudeness and swearing. We also believe that it is one of the member's BM who has been doing this so some of the members are regrettably defensive with new members. Sorry but I think in time this will pass but that wound is still raw. (Not me but a couple of other members here have been personally attacked on here, it was deliberate and at times cruel.)
If you are honest in your intentions, which I believe you are, give it time.
We all smile in the same language
makes sense
thank you
Your Welcome
and welcome to Steptalk. You have good advice and insight. Hope you stick around.
We all smile in the same language
I'm also new
I'm also new, and this site WILL help you, it has already helped me a bunch as of anit..sigh thats terrible that BM come on here and attack step-parents....
Mom of 8
If you don't like the site, you are free not to come here. Sometimes kids are brats and monsters. Lying, cheating, stealing, verbally and physically abusive, out of control, cruel, spoiled...some of the stories on here would make you sick...for the poor SM involved. Many are unfortunate enough to be involved with narcissistic BMs and children. It is very difficult to deal with abusers and bullies, especially when you don't want to sink to their level. Some people have no boundaries or morals and will do just about anything without remorse. They are very dangerous people. Those of us with values and very little power to change things can become very confused, depressed and sick from these situations. Venting and getting support from others who experience the same things and perhaps can help is very empowering.