I think about that sometimes too.

I've been a SM for about 4 years. My BD's have had a SM for about that amount of time too.

I try with their SM but she's really not in the picture that much. My girls only see their dad occassionally (becuase of ongoing legal issues) and their SM never goes to my exH family events because she's very insecure about the fact that in some ways, I'm still part of his family and always will be becuase of the kids. I don't like that she's intimiated by me, but there's really nothing I can do about that. We've gone out for a beer to talk early on but she really, really runs from my shadow and I don't know why. But then again, she's with my ExH, so clearly, she's got some issues of her own.

But with me as the BM, I'm sure they think I'm a witch because she supports her husband, my EH, and I call him on his crap and hold him accoutable. He lies to her, she believes it and I have no doubt I"m the bad guy in their eyes for lots of reasons.

Now in my case, my SK's BM is a nut job, but that's another blog.

I am also "the BM" to my daughters step mother. I am not sure how she views me but I can tell you, from being a SM myself, that she needs to take a serious look at how she behaves. She beleives that she is entittled to respect from me because she married my daughters father. That is very far from the truth. I have the wisdom to know that BM doesnt owe me anything and SHE is the children's mother. No matter how many times I marry their father I am not going to be their mother. A positive female roll model in their lives is all I will ever be and that is good enough for me. I am not here to replace BM but to offer their children positive things that she cannot (or at least hasnt been able to offer them so far). This is something that I desperately wish my daughter's SM would figure out.

I am the "BM" to my Ex's wife . I have a BD13..last night I called my Ex and actually ASKED to speak to his wife because she is female..and I was crying..I thought wow..this is a post that would be on Steptalk tomorrow about how this moron BM called us up because her and her FH broke up...lol...she even offered to loan me $$..they wanted me to move into the apartment upstairs from them....I don't think so - way too awkward

"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

I am a BM to an SM and an SM to a BM. WOW! That seemd oh so exhausting just typing it. LOL.

My BD(21) has a SM. Has had her for about 12+ years. When we were in touch the SM and I had a great relationship. We just HIT IT OFF. It would drive my ex bonkers that I would rather deal with her than him. Even more is that she and I would have been fast friends and probably BFFs under different circumstances. We were always respectful of one another. I always encouraged a good relationship between my BD and her SM. I even modeled that myself as I love her SM. They moved and I moved and the ex was still an azz. They never made an effort to make contact and keep a relationship with BD, so things kinda just fell by the wayside. They have recently begun to reach out to BD again, but seeing as BD is 21, she is fully capapble of conducting a relationship between them if she chooses and I don't need to be in the midst of it.

Now as far as my relationship with the BM in my life. Oy ve! It has been a tumultuous hate filled one. She despises me for what I represent, moreso than WHO I am. Any other woman occupying this position in DHs life would get the EXACT same hatred. I must say though, as of last week...she is trying. So, I am going to reserve any other statements and knock her seeing as I've only been asking for this from her for 8+ years. Now that she is trying it would not be fair of me to knock her for trying. So, right now I can honestly say that things are tolerable.

Anyone can take the easy way out and blame others. BUT it takes a a person of character to take a look at one's self and actions and own responsibility for their part. ~ ME ~ }:-P

My son's 1st SM was a horrible horrible woman. I won't go into details other than I really hope she's dead in a ditch somewhere. Seriously, she slapped my perfect son's face and scratched his side with her talons trying to man-handle him when he was about 7 because he hated her and was trying to get away from her. Understand now? EH FINALLY divorced her and married the nicest lady in the world. Probably too meek and mild actually. She was in a very abusive marriage before marrying my EH and it kind of messed her up. I like her just fine and have had many many conversations with her instead of EH because I liked her better than him. LOL!! Perfect son16 is now old enough I let him call the shots on visitation and they live an hour away and he choses not to see his BF so I just think, ok whatever.

But the answer for me is perfect son16's SM is a very nice lady and I'm thankful!

I was BM and my ex remarried like 6 weeks after the divorce papers were signed. I didn't know her during their 16 month marriage but got to know her after. She called me and asked me to tell her the truth about my ex and I did and she divorced him.

We are still friends.