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And so it continues

msp1967's picture

Submitted by msp1967 on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 7:41am

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Adult Stepchildren

My SS continues to bring drugs into my house. I found stuff to smoke pot in his room, and BM said there wasn't much I can do as most kids do that instead of drink alcohol. I thought to myself "what was that?" I think BM is still in denial that her 19 year old is taking advantage of her, but I on the other hand am getting tired of it.

Help, not sure what I can do to stop this behavior in SS.....

msp1967's picture

Submitted by msp1967 on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 8:11am

This same child still leaves dishes downstairs even after I set rules up not to do that. I pushed and pushed and he is finally taking his GED classes. BM is just tired and worn out dealing with him for 19 years....

I have a zero tolerance for that stuff, and if I am wrong then so be it. I can change. But a part of me says that its still an illegal substance and I want to make sure our 4 year old doesn't pick up SS bad behavior(s)....

melis070179's picture

Submitted by melis070179 on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 8:14am

So is BM your wife? I think we were a little confused because usually if your are stepdad than you refer to your wife, the child's mother, as DW (darling wife). But it sounds like you are stepdad and your stepson is your wife's child? Why don't you search his room daily and throw out any drug related items you find? I'm sure he'll stop bringing it home evntually if he has to keep paying to replace them! Why even let him take the dishes downstairs in the first place? Make him buy his own paper goods if he wants to eat downstairs!

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

msp1967's picture

Submitted by msp1967 on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 8:19am

Forgive me? Smile Only my second post in 6 weeks.

I think SS is getting money by pawning what little he has, somehow his dvd/vhs player has come up missing........

FallingfromGrace's picture

Submitted by FallingfromGrace on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 8:43am

I would stand firm on this. It completely unacceptable.

"God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change; the strength to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."

melis070179's picture

Submitted by melis070179 on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 9:00am

Well don't buy him anything else! Druggies often sell their stuff and end up stealing to get money for drugs. If he gets out of control you guys may have to kick him out. My mom & stepdad had to kick out their son for 6 months because he was smoking pot, stealing things for money to buy it, being very dsrespectful and abusive. He lived on the streets for 6 months, also at age 19. He's now 23 & has been back living with them for 3 years. At least now he has stopped the drugs & has a full time job. Its harder though when one person is not the bio-parent. That takes it to a whole new level.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

namaste123's picture

Submitted by namaste123 on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 9:30am

You absolutely can do something about it! I'm not against pot, I know sounds crazy, but I am against it when kids are trying to bring it in your home. Harmless or not, that's just disrespectful and unacceptable. It's about boundaries.

Gia's picture

Submitted by Gia on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 10:06am

And if they go to college they will do it a LOT...

But that still makes it totally unacceptable to just "let it happen",
NO DRUGS ALLOWED...

~You can see clearly only with your heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's

msp1967's picture

Submitted by msp1967 on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 10:48am

I've seen a receipt in the past and asked about it, but of course it was for someone else, etc..etc...