Is that woman on crack?? :jawdrop: Seriously?? She actually thinks that you would allow her to take your bio daughter to this fundraiser?? I think not. I'm in the same boat as you, in the 3 years I've been with DH, I have yet to pick up SD7 from BM's house to do something with her by myself. And there is absolutely no way in hell I would let her take my child anywhere. Ever. NEVER ever. If it's important to BF's son for your daughter to go, then I would suggest you and your BF take your daughter to the fundraiser. That way, the kids are happy, you're more at ease, BF gets a little extra time with his son, and BM gets put in her place. Nuff said.

As for Cuba - go. And have fun! If you absolutely have to give the BM a contact number, give her the main switchboard for the hotel - and NOT the 1-800 number either... hehehe... With anyluck, if she does feel the need to call, she'll have to deal with the switchboard (and hopefully a little bit of a language barrier, if you know what I mean), to get through to your room. If at all possible though, I would give all the emergency info to someone close to you (your mom, sister, brother, etc), and give BM their number. That way, if she calls, your "middle man" can 'filter' out what BM thinks is so urgent that she must call you in another country, and if there truely is an emergency, the "middle man" can then call you & relay any important info...

We're planning a child free trip ourselves (delayed honeymoon), and our BM will have absolutely NO idea where we are going - my MIL is my "middle man" - BM hates her, and the feeling is mutual, so I have absolutely no worries about my MIL handling her. }:)

Give her a middleman contact. Tell her that y'all will be checking in with (insert name here) and give her that number, if she needs to leave a message for y'all, that will be the quickest and easiest. No way would I let her have any kind of access to my get away... And as far as your child goes, that may just give her ammunition at a later date.. Politely tell her you already have it covered.

My opinion only....

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

the middleman idea is perfect. Exactly what I had in mind.

And there's no reason for her to be taking your child anywhere...
A coldly polite thanks but no thanks should suffice.

I think that is a great idea.
I concur with my wonderfully smart ST responses..
have fun and I hope you are getting the question you are hoping for!!

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

about the phone #. A middle man is an excellant idea. As far as your child goes I would not let her take her with. Why would this woman think that was okay.

My BM is sane, just a pain in the ass controling selfish person. However I do pick up my skids ( funny thing her BF's ex GF will not let her pick up his son after 3 years. She lives 10 minuets from her & he is an hour & a half away)all the time. I will say that when it comes to picking up dropping off ect... I have all the same rights as my husband.

Once though when our son was little he let BM watch him & my SS's at our house so he could go to a baseball board meeting for our skids little league. I HAD to attend our CEO's retirement party that night. I just about wanted to kill him. She is trust worthy & a good mom BUT she is his ex wife. Then after about a month my husband decided he didn't want to be a part of this organization so he put me through a night of hell for nothing.

BM sees my son at things & is always very nice to him & about him, but make no mistake he is MY son. Another good reason for my husband to be nice to me because I would be the BM from hell regarding my one & only bio child.

JamaicanMeCrazy
DISNEY LIED...THERE IS NO 'HAPPILY EVER AFTER'

we be laughing at you - yep, a lot of us have been in your situation and it's extremely frustrating. As the other ladies have suggested, either get a middle man for your contact or begrudgingly give her the number to the resort. When my DH & I went to Jamaica to get married, and again for our 1st anniversary, we only gave my sister our emergency numbers. We had our cell phones with us but we would have only answered them if it was her (or the dog sitter!)calling;I would call or text sis or the sitter occasionally to make sure everything was ok; we told his family (in-laws and SD's) that if they needed to contact us, please call my sister and she would find us. SD's still left voice messages bickering about this or that, but we ignored them since it wasn't an emergency. If you think BM would abuse calling the resort, you could also arrange to make a "check in" phone call as a last resort.

And yes, BM's truly are the axis of evil...I have a very hard time not letting BM get to me, but I try to focus on ANYTHING but her; she means absolutely nothing to me and I really don't want to waste my time or thoughts on someone so trivial. 'He/she who angers you, controls you' has become my mantra.

Congrats on your trip and hopefully your engagement!

I think the ladies above all have given good advice! You deserve happiness. Dont let this woman ruin it for you! My husband exs has tried everything to ruin our relationship including showing up at our home on the eve of our wedding and trying to talk my husband into calling off the wedding! Some of these woman are evil, jealous people and we can do nothing to change that. Just keep in mind that the ultimate revenge is the fact that you have made her ex and son so happy! You have given them a family life that she was unable to and she will hate that more than any other piece of retaliation! Let us know how the trip goes. I am anxious to hear if he proposes...you deserve the happiness!

My DH have 4 girls between us and they all go to the same school. BM is off her rocker. She goes between trying to be my BFF and being completely innappropirate about it to hating my guts and telling everyone about it.

When she's trying to be my BFF, she's offered many, many times to pick up, watch, parent or otherwise engage with my kids. It makes me ill. It's bad enough that she has to be around HER kids she does not get the privledge of being around mine. I finally had to send her a very direct email to ask her to even stop offering becasue it was innappropriate- she's back to hating me now. They don't get it. This is the same woman who made her kid sit and wait for HER to take her to the doc for an ear infection rather than have me do it.

Let your husband deal with her and keep her at arms length for all interactions.

Im very happy for you! I hope everything turns out like you imagine!