Back when-we had SS EOW (now DH is custodial parent)-if DH had to work, SS did NOT come over-BM was NOT happy -but that was the way it was.

I felt this was HIS time with his child and he should absolutely be around the whole weekend.

Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!

I do not watch my sk's, if my dh has to work and he has them, he takes them with him or finds someone to keep them. We have had so many problems at our home and my sk's will lie to make bm happy that I do not feel comfortable watching them and I absolutely refuse. I tell him that they are there for his benefit not mine. I don't even watch them long enough for him to go to the store or something, if they are with us then he takes them with him.

"Love is strong yet delicate. It can be broken. To truly love is to understand this. To be in love is to respect this."

My ex has our BD8 EOW and he has canceled many times because he had to work. But he has also taken his parenting time and then dropped our daughter off with one of his friends and then he will go home and sleep so our BD8 spends little to not time with him on his weekend. I guess if you are supposed to be spending time with your child it is silly for them to come when you are working but on the other hand, as a CP I used to work the weekends my ex had our daughter and I had to quit that job because he canceled so much and gave me little to no notice.

I would be annoyed if my BF worked every weekend that we had SS1 and he used to but only on Saturdays. He changed jobs shortly after we started getting overnights so I don't have to worry about it much. Now I was unemployed for 2 months and just went back to work and I had to work my schedule around transporting SS1 until the court makes a final order in May.

My DH had an all day meeting on a Sunday when we had the kids. I know when he told their mom that he needed to return thenm at noon on Sunday rather than 5pm she was NOT happy, but being the good martyr she is only said she would be home. Normally if something comes up they stay with me, things had been really crazy lately & DH was trying to maker my life easier because I had plans to go to the zoo with my aunt & our son. My aunt is NOT a kid person and even though she wants to see my son being with her is extreemly stressful. She does like the skids but I really try & limit their exposure to her for their sakes.

I do feel that it is my husbands visitation not mine & am often frusterated with him in regards to how he interacts with the kids. However my skids are pretty good kids...kind of lazy at times ( got in trouble with me last night thinking I was going to find something they misplaced... I said find it yourself & then proceeded to do a half assed job looking )but they are pretty easy to have around. Also their baby brother ( our son) loves them & enjoys having them here.... I kind of look at visitation as being both his & daddy's time with the skids.

I think everyone has diff situations, some have older sk's, some younger, some have sk's they adore and some have the very opposite. .naughty as they come! I would say it is up to you! Utterly your choice and your feelings with a lot a variables!! Do you want to have her around or not? This is time you could use to get to know her and try to build a relationship with her or if you are ok with the way things are then...ok leave it alone. Another is yes, try to consider how it effects the BM...now wait I know almost every reader is saying "WHAT?", who cares about her and I AGREE, I hate with a passion the BM I deal with but, what I meant by that is like smurfy1smile said...she had to quit a second job which could effect the sk and you guys too because the lack of the $ that was there and is not now...and what if the sk wants that time to get away from BM, the change in life style, maybe enjoys the weekend away from her to get that breather?? I am a SP and a BM, so both ways effect me! I can see it both ways! For me, I love my SK's and they are so awsome to have around and I will always take them even when BD isn't around! But agian...it depends on YOUR situations and YOUR feelings!! Try hard to think about it as how it affects you, your DH and SK not the BM(unless it indirectly effects the SK or you & DH), weigh it all out and just go with what you think works! If it doesn't work the way you thought it shoud then you just learned for the next time! Trial and error!! Good luck!!

I would want to see my SS as much as H would so I would keep him and enjoy my time with him and perhaps prepare nice meal together for Dad. But yes visitationis to visit technically with the bio-parent but I see that I am just as much SS family as H or anybody else is so I would keep him and enjoy something with him. I like my alone time with my SS it helps the bond that we have.

That is exactly why I do not keep my sk's because of bm's crazy abuse ideas, I do not want to leave any room for her to cause problems. Ever since I married my dh she has cause massive problems with me and my sk's relationship. I just think the worst and try to guard myself, it truly makes it hard to have a relationship with my sk's cause they will lie and say whatever the bm wants them to.

"Love is strong yet delicate. It can be broken. To truly love is to understand this. To be in love is to respect this."

I would say his parenting time is his time, whether he has to work or not. So if you didn't want to sit, he'd have to pay a babysitter. Afterall, it wouldn't be right of BM to give him to dad if she had to work on her weekend. That would infringe on your guy's plans. Stick to the schedule.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

And I had a show going on, which meant I had sitters every weeknight for rehearsals, and weekends when we moved into performance, I asked my exH if he wanted extra time before scheduling sitters. On weekends I usually didn't because I still could spend all day with the boys. But weeknights I wanted the boys to be with a parent if possible. This peeved SM, who thought I was dumping them on them. But I wasn't. Just offered and if they had plans or weren't interested in extra time I hired the sitters.

Now that I'm with DH, I still offer extra time to exH if I'm going to be out of town. We are more like a family I think with the kids having equal time at each house, but my kids feel more at home here when I'm home, and DH gets more frustrated with them when I'm not. Also, when DH goes out of town the boys come over extra to hang out when it's just me and BD 3, because it's a treat for us all to have that kind of quality time.

However, we don't have the issues your SD's BM has caused. I think I would tell DH that you want to support him, but if he can't be there the majority of the time, then he should offer BM the extra time. If BM says no, then she can't complain or try to raise an issue out of it.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra