Another poor me thread
I'm so miserable. I feel like my DH hates me right now. He spent last night at Starbucks studying for an exam, and then spent half the night sleeping on the couch. I feel like I can't talk to SD because anything I say is going to come out as criticism and she already thinks I'm evil anyways.
I feel like SD probably felt all triumphant this morning when she came out of her room and saw DH on the couch. Yup, you're driving a wedge between us. Good work.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do differently. I feel like my options are to do things the way I have been (obviously not working), or be a complete doormat. Yesterday I tried just disengaging. I came home and SD's crap was everywhere -- dirty dishes in sink, camp stuff thrown on the floor right inside the door, cherry popsicle mess all over the sink -- but I didn't say anything. I just went in my room and started watching TV. Then DH wants to know why I'm grumpy. So I tell him. And he flips out because apparently I'm really unreasonable. I don't know, maybe I am! Maybe I shouldn't expect that the house is going to be clean. Part of my obsession with cleanliness right now is just my nesting instinct. ..... oh, but there I go, blaming everything on being pregnant again. Yup, I'm just a crazy pregnant lady.
And I can't stop crying lately. Every day for the past three days, I just cry all the time. And I don't even know why. I'm just so sad.
Oh Jess.. I am so sorry.
Oh Jess.. I am so sorry. He is being unreasonable.. not you. SD should be doing her share.. she isnt a baby anymore. I would have done the same thing.. sat my tired body down and let him deal when he gets home. Let him pick it up if she isnt going to.
Is sending her to live w/her mom an option?
Not an option
She's not really a fit mother.
Take it easy on yourself
Never understimate the power of pregnancy hormones. My OB/GYN always used to tease me and my husband about this on our prenatal visits. He told my husband he would get his head bit off regularly and he should just put up with it. Kind of funny.
Baby is due in just a few days, right? You need to take it easy. Tell husband you realize he may feel you are being irrational and hormonal. It is OK for him to feel that way. But you need his support right now, and that includes either having SD clean up her messes or him doing it for her. The reward will be a happier wife and a more harmonious home. This is a hard time physically and emotionall for you right now. I still remember!
Thanks....
I wish he understood that more. Maybe he does, I don't know.
The problem with the messy house thing is that it just doesn't bother him (or her) the way it bothers me. They don't get annoyed by a bunch of dishes in the sink or by socks strewn about the house.....I do. But since it doesn't annoy him, he doesn't even think to do anything about it.
Blah. Baby is due in 6 days. My luck, she'll be late and I'll be preggo for another 2 weeks. wah wah wah. I'm so whiny!!!
Jess
Can you just TRY and ignore all the mess and focus on just pampering yourself until the baby comes?
I know it's probably going to be hard, especially if you're in 'nesting mode', but force yourself to just do for yourself.
You are correct- SD is getting her kicks in seeing the two of you at odds, so don't let her see it getting to you.
Can you get out with friends? Relax in your room? Read a good book? Do something else baby-related? Anything to just focus solely on YOU!
Be selfish for a while. You only have a couple of days left anyway until the baby comes and then you have to be completely selfless for a long time!
Hang in there, Sweetheart. We're all here for you in spirit.
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
You guys are awesome :)
Thank you. I'll try to ignore it.... This weekend should be okay...SD is with her mom from 6 p.m. tonight until 6 p.m. Sunday.
I love that I can come on here and whine.
Oh.. good. A break. Can
Oh.. good. A break. Can you explain to dh that you are upset because you are starting to feel overwhelmed and realize that you are going to have your hands full w/the baby soon and dont want to have to care for the baby in a filthy house.
I am w/you on cleanliness being next to godliness. I cant relax in a home that is messy. I have walked into the bm's house (this was over 2 yrs ago now) and it was always filthy.. crap everyone.. couldnt sit on the couch, because you had to move stuff first to find a place to sit.. same with the kitchen table. couldnt find it.
Keep your room the way you like it.. and escape there.. or escape to the nursery...
Take it easy, Jess
Try not to let sd get to you. It is what she wants. Enjoy your break from her this weekend.