the other step parent
just wondering, has anyone ever talked to your step childs other step parent in private without your spouse or the BM knowing (about issues with the kids?)
if we are both steps over the child why can WE discuss anything? i've even heard that when the bio parents dont get along some of the steps have to take care of arangements????? i've been tempted to call my SS step dad to try and talk to him about how unfair BM is being about visitation and what kind of damage she can do by controlling visits. we only see SS twice a year, the last 4 years we've had SS 8-9 weeks out of the summer
they finally astablished visitation threw the courts and now she only will allow 6 weeks, and one week during the school year when hes on winter or spring break.
my childrens father died, she has NO clue what happens to children whos fathers are not involved. SS is 10 shouldnt he be able to decide if he wants to stay longer?
my god he's not 2 sometimes i'd be glad to send my kids someplace for 9 weeks l.o.l. he is so good and so HAPPY when he comes back i feel so bad for my hubby and him, it just breaks my heart that they are 14 hours away from eachother, will talking to the other step help or hurt???
That one would depend on the
That one would depend on the personality. If we're talking about someone who thrives on the drama just as much as the BM does, then what's the point? If we're talking about someone who wants peace, then it could be worth a shot. My BM has kids by two different fathers, one of them my DH. I've had some great conversations with her other child's father and stepmother about how to stop the craziness. We became friendly over the years after they first reached out to me. My DH has always preferred to talk to BM's husband rather than BM because they can talk without there being lots of hostility and drama. But I've never spoken to my skids' stepfather myself. For the most part, I stay out of it. Unless someone's laying dead in a ditch or there's some other such emergency, there's just no reason for me to get directly involved.
♥ Georgia, the un-stepmom ♥
"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)
I never have (and I'm sure I
I never have (and I'm sure I never will), but I would LOVE to!!
Kind of
My DH and I thought that SD step dad was so understanding at first. He would tell DH that he would talk to BM etc. but then we filed to have CS lowered because SD wasn't in daycare and hadn't been in over a year and boy oh boy did we see a different side of things! He was very against it getting lowered at all but yet he had personally done this with his ex wife a few years before but made my DH out to look like a slime ball because we were tired of funding all their bills!
Tread very carefully here...I would advise not seeking him out but maybe just feel him out a little when you see him or if he happens to answer the phone.
the other step has to be a grown up
We tried stepparent communication...not by choice, when my DH & BM were at the height of their fighting days...and it almost worked. BM's husband & I were able to be "professional" in our e-mail exchanges, and verbal, but sadly , that was quickly squashed by BM. Their was no way she could stay silent, and her hubby quickly started to talk just as bad as her....like she morphed him into her own figure. Then it was like dealing with two 2 yr. olds...talk about crazy.... be very careful w/ this approach. ~"Resist all the urges.... that make you want to go out and kill." ~ Chel.
Chel is right....
consider WHY BM married him in the first place, if she is as controlling as I think she is... who do you think runs that house? Yep.. BM. I have been down that road before,and it blew up in my face. EVERYTHING that was said between us was taken back to BM, and she twisted and manipulated everything to suit her own agenda. My advice is stay far away from that bomb. But you know the situation best. My guess is that SS will start making his feelings known to BM soon, most boys tend to lean more toward the Dad. In our State, it is the Law that a child can decide where he lives at the age of 12.
Good Luck!
hangingin