BM is in Florida...she tells us 1 hour before drop off.
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DH just called BM to confirm that, per our usual practice, SD will be dropped off for the weekend at 5:30.
BM says, "I'm on my way home from Daytona Beach and won't be home until very late tonight. I can't take her until tomorrow."
This happened minutes ago. We live in Massachusetts. Its not like she couldn't have told us this yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that. But she doesn't tell us at all...and probably wouldn't have if DH hadn't called.
She probably spent the last of her settlement money on this too.
What a stupid wench. So much for me and DH's plans for the night.
WTF
Is visitation court ordered?? Charge her w/ contempt, because she left the state w/ SD, and did not inform DH ahead of time, and did not have her dropped off for scheduled visitation , that violates the order. I know it sounds extreme, but if she gets away with it , she'll do it alot more often. It's also the condesending additude....if she wanted to take her D to Florida, great, but she should have informed her dad, as he has the right to know where his kid is, and that it interferes w/ visitation. I bet if you'all did this to her, she would be running to the police w/ kiddnapping charges against you. ~"Resist all the urges.... that make you want to go out and kill." ~ Chel.
We have custody of SD
I was unclear....
BM just has visitation EOW. But she is supposed to be there for drop off at 5:30, so I guess this violates the court order, but not to the extent that taking SD out of state would.
This weekend is SD's birthday too. You'd think BM would make sure to be here and spend her whole weekend with SD. What a horrible mother.
re;
She is only thinking of herself, and probably thinks it's funny not to be there, and that DH had to call her. The sick games they play, our BM ,used to do this when we lived nearby, and she did not think it was so amusing to F'up our visitation time when my DH, had to go to the police just to find out where his kids were, when they were not avialable for pick-up, and she got slapped w/ a contempt charge. Never happened again:). ~"Resist all the urges.... that make you want to go out and kill." ~ Chel.
How old is BM?
21?
This time of year in Daytona Beach is all the Spring Breakers....or is she a cougar looking to get 'er some?
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
haha!
DH mentioned that to me. It hadn't even occurred to me that its Spring Break time. She's 30 years old. What a loser.
Our BM too
When I was first dating DH, BM and he were just divorced when spring break came up. A few days before BM told DH she was going on vacation. Not, "I'm going on vacation, will you be able to have her all week on her spring break?" It was just assumed. Then BM was actually home during the nights she was to have SD but still didn't take her because she was "on vacation."
On vacation from parenting????
These parents who are so detached are amazing. They just make their schedule never thinking twice about inconveniencing other parent. When I took an evening class when I was single, I didn't even sign up until I knew it wouldn't be a problem for exH and SM to have the kids til 7:15 a few nights a week, until I could pick them up from class. I wouldn't have dreamed of just signing up and telling them the time was changing from 5:30 pick up to 7:15. Common courtesy is ASKING ahead of time.
I just don't get it. I never will I guess. I think we just at some point have to realize that these crazy ex's are predictably unpredictable, as SD's psychologist says.
WE get this constantly. BM
WE get this constantly. BM on vacation (even though she doesn't work)and swins must stay with us extra. So we do it and even then she doesn't get them back on agreed day (caught her lying last year -- said she was still out-of-town in traffic and then I saw her brother the same afternoon whom she was travelling with). WTH. And I do like you, check with DH before I do a thing to see if it works for everyone even though I'm the SM. School bus drops off swins at 2:45, she shows up at 4pm or later on her days to have them-we have joint custody. School field trip was Monday (her day) swins call DH for bag lunch Sunday night b.c. she said call Dad he signed you up & I don't have lunch to pack. She actually said that to her only kids & she doesn't work. WTH.
Field trips
I remember SD used to plead with DH and/or me to come to field trips, but BM insisted she ask her. So DH would ask, BM would put off answering until no one went. So I went to ONE. Then BM decided she would go to every field trip. BUT if SD was coming from our house she would tell her to pack a lunch to take because BM was "only bringing MY lunch."
Unbelievable. I would have never expected my sons' SM to pack a lunch for a field trip for the kids that I forbid her to go on, that I was going to be bringing a lunch to for myself. But...this is how the woman thinks. It is nice to know we're not alone.
Peace, love, and red wine
Jess.. not quite the same
Jess.. not quite the same but also shows a lack of concern for others..
On Friday night my dh called the ex to confirm that he would be picking up the skids the following am. She informs him that she will be 30 mins away from us and we could meet her there in the pkg lot to get the skids.. btw 10:30 - 11:00 am.. GREAT!!! she RARELY helps out w/the driving.. we are psyched.
Saturday am 9:15 my dh announces to me that he is going to get ready and going to meet the ex and skids. I point out that it only takes a 1/2 hr to get where he needs to be.. and plus.. he should call and make sure she is going to be on time (no idea why I thought of this)... at 10am just before walking out the door, he calls to make sure she is already on her way. Her new dh answers and informs my dh that his ex is in the shower... JUST GOT IN!! Tells my dh that HE will call and let him know what time they are leaving at.
About 11:10 we get the call. They are now in their vehicle on the way to the drop off location. Can you imagine.. he wanted to leave at 9:15 would have gotten there at 9:45 and would have waited until about NOON for these skids.
LACK OF CONSIDERATION!
Exactly the same
This is the exact stuff my BM does. Its so frustrating. But my DH rarely calls her on it, because he says she's not gonna get it anyways, and its not worth dealing with her getting all 'up in his face.' (She is the type who will snap in z formation, if you know what i mean).