Stepparents in advice columns
I am including the write-up from the Dear Margo advice column. There also is a write-up in Dear Abby today from a lady whose kids are nearly grown and is considering marrying a man with three children ages seven to nine. She wants to know if this means she must start all over again being a parent when she thought she was nearly done. Guess there are a lot of stepparents out there facing similar problems!
For Better or Worse ... Not Four in a Bed
DEAR MARGO: I am 37 and got married two years ago. My wife's children were 6 and 8 at the time. At first, the kids slept in our bed. I didn't say anything for about a month, but then I said that was not acceptable. Next they moved to air mattresses at the foot of our bed. After that, they moved to their own rooms. Now they are back in our bed. I have moved to the couch -- which has caused my wife to be mad at me. I also catch hell if I try to discipline her son, now 8, when he pouts or plays her to get things his way. (I know all the tricks because my kids are older.) I think I have the right to be regarded as a surrogate parent because I am the one who is here when the school bus drops him off and I sometimes take him to school. I would appreciate any suggestions you may have.
--- GOING NUTS
DEAR GO: These sleeping arrangements are for the birds, but they are merely indicative of a larger problem. What has happened is that the kids have run away with the reins. Their mother is caving in whenever they say "boo," either from guilt or because it's easier to acquiesce than to say "no." You might ask your wife how many men she thinks would marry a woman so that four people could sleep in the bed. She also needs to understand the correctness of your wanting to act as a surrogate parent. My suggestion would be to make an appointment with a child specialist who can explain to your wife what is good for her children and what is not. If this situation doesn't get straightened out, I am pretty certain there will be no marriage.
--- MARGO, CORRECTIVELY
crayon
be glad he is just the BF...
I am with you there is no way I would put up with being treated like a doormat, so why did he divorce in the first place?
I am sorry you are having to go thru this, but hang tight, you have a plan in place ...hold on!!
“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”
its awful
its awful seeing the guilt parenting goin on in your own home i dont ever want to go home when they are there i try to stay at work late go shoping ect ect they speak to every person that comes into my home like a piece of s**t drink all my coke(leaving me none to have with vodka) they just do whatever the hell they want they pee all down the side of the toilet (not by accident) god knows why !! do not put dishes in the sink constantly annoy my dog (my Baby) he is a big boy and i sometime wish he hurts one of them cruel i know but then maybe theyw ont come around any mor
life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )
i try
it just never seems to work i leave him to do everything but i cant handle my house being a mess me not being able to do anything ! i could handle dirty dishes (in the sink) and little things like that but toys out in every single room pee on the floor and 3 little rude s**s its just hard to ignore what annoy me the most is BF thinks its ok and they do not need rules
and they wold be very nosy ghosts constantly screaming at one and other im fed up now and cant see a solution other than booting him out this way i will have my nice peace full cream home back lol
yep its the vokda and coke for me again today 2
life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )
Pee gets me roaring mad. We
Pee gets me roaring mad. We have 3 bathrooms and every seat has pee drips b.c. 12 year old swins don't know how to use the toilet correctly. I found pee in a water bottle in the basement b.c swins couldn't go up to pee when playing xbox. BD does nothing but responds to me: they are boys, you don't understand. To which I respond: No they are pigs & I don't like living like one. I quit contributing money ($1,000 month) b.c. of it. If I have no house rights, no bathroom/bedroom to call my own (swin free) then I'm getting nothing, paying nothing. April's my first free month. He can contribute to spoil them but I'll not pay him for it.
age yes
alot of my problems get blamed on my age im 9 yrs younger than him tho !
i dont feel comfertable sayin stuff like that because he doesnt make me feel comfertable being there never mind being an authourity figure (sorry for spellin im not ot clever) i just get stop ruining my time with them there my kids but out shit, so ive come to the conclusion to try detach myself from him then kick his ass out of my house he would be on his arse without me ya see and i have been thinking its not worth it for a long time but im a bit of a soft touch when it come to things like that and wouldnt want to see him on his ass but i also dont want to see me in my early grave im learning a bit more l8ly that i am my number one priority (no body else is going to look after me but me ) i feel i have made a great progress although this hurts i know its the right thing to do ! and it wil happen soon
ife is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )