I know she might be too old for this.. but can you do a time out for her?? a teenage one?

If you hear her talking crap about you again, just take the cell phone out of her hands end the call, turn off the phone and tell her she can have it back TOMORROW for her rude behavior. That if you hear her doing that again she looses it for 2 days.. so on and so forth.. just take it away for each day she is caught being a little sh*t.

For the slamming into you on the stairs.. christ.. ummmm.. I would remind her that you have never laid a finger on her.. but if she keeps it up.. you just might. You dont want her to continue thinking this behaviour is ok.. otherwise when she is 18 she might punch you repeatedly like Stepwitch's sd.

Ruining your stuff.. I say you take something she really likes of hers for everything of yours she wrecks.. and eye for an eye.. let her know HOW it feels to have your things violated.. by voilating her things back. (sounds childish and petty.. but trust me it works.. my sister bit me once.. and my dad bit my sister back.. she never bit again.. he also had to do this to a cousin of mine that also bit me several years later)

Does she do stuff to the little ones?

I think taking the phone away while she was talking about you like that is a good idea although it is only a minor fix, cuz she will learn only to not talk about you while you are close by.
I really think a family talk with H in the mix is a good idea.
how can she treat you like this and your H is ok with it?
she is getting the wrong signal from him by him not doing anything.
I think a good old fashion smack down (not literally) is in order. like frustrated said- She pushes you - stop her and let her know that was uncalled for-she takes your things, take hers. The H will need to be involved though.
good luck!!

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

Elizabeth--I just went through two years of the same kind of treatment from SD18 and SD24, who were living in our home. I, too, recall very loud phone conversations (meant for me to hear of course) where they talked about "that bitch" and how our home was a "hell hole" and how they couldn't stand "the brat" (referring to my BD11). Of course they didn't have the guts to face me directly. Just like you, they ruined my stuff as they could, and regularly stole clothes and jewelry from BD11.

At first I did nothing, thinking things would get better. But it only got worse. Then one day I realized that the more they were allowed to carry on with the campaign of disrespect, the more they ruled the house. It was up to me to break the cycle. Heaven knows I was already a "bitch" in their eyes, so what was I afraid of?

So I got my DH to agree to a sit down with me and them (one at a time), where I let looked them in the eyes and told them what I thought. They squirmed. I calmly outlined their behavior that was offensive, and DH and I had agreed beforehand on the consequences if they continued. When they were face-to-face with me and DH at the kitchen table they were scared little hens. Of course they denied EVERYTHING. I told them that was OK, as long as the behavior was not repeated. If they never did the behavior in the first place, then not repeating it would be no problem, right?

The sit down was just the step of taking back control. Of course they didn't take us seriously. The next step was to IMMEDIATELY FOLLOW THROUGH on the consequences that we had outlined. For example, when SD18 didn't pay her cell phone bill (again), the phone was shut off. When SD24 left her stuff around, it disappeared. When BD11's clothes were found on SD24's floor, I took a pile of her clothes and "disappeared" them as well. We instituted the "three strikes" rule when it came to blatant disrespect--name calling, etc. Three strikes and they were OUT of the house--for good.

Needless to say, eventually they both had to leave the house. But at least the disrespect went underground for a while.

I hope you and your DH can work together to resolve this. My DH wouldn't take action until I made him sit down and act like a team player. Perhaps you can get your DH to do the same?

it just won't work. I am telling you, I have been through this myself. They will not respect what you say without him backing you up. You and your husband need to agree to some house rules that include consequences. Have a "family meeting" with you and your husband both present to announce the rules. Then you can apply the consequences when hubby is not there to help.

Last summer was the worst! I took to weeks off work so my husbands girls could come visit. They were HORRIBLE!! It was all the same problems you had. My husband was driving the truck everyday and coming home nights. When he got home the problems only got worse.

I tried to get him to punish them but in his eyes they were little angels and I was the problem. So finally I said fine their your damn kids, you take care of them. I refused to watch them at all. DH was pissed. He had to take them to work with him. Two kids in one truck for 12 hours, you get the picture. }:) I flat out refused to care for his girls again until things changed. Both girls refused to ever step foot in my home again.

I let them know that they are always welcome in my home but at the same time while in my home all adults will be respected at all times, no matter if they liked that person or not. Little did the girls know that less than a year later they would be living with me.

Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns

I agree with the group that unless your husband teams with you to take a stand, SD15 gets the message loud and clear that she can continue to violate your personal property and physically abuse you. She knows she can run the house and her father is on her side. Those of us with teens know that kind of power dynamic spells disaster.

My primary concern is for your physical safety. If SD15 knows she can assault you WITH NO CONSEQUENCES, she will up the ante and continue to do so. Would your husband allow a stranger to assult you in your home? If yes, then leave. If not, why is it OK for his daughter to assault you?

Hard to live with isn't it.. Sad to say that I like my Skids mom more then I like either of them. I don't care for there attitudes, they are rude and mean.

The only thing I know I am doing right now, is I don't really talk to them at all. And I stopped doing nice things for them, laundry stuff like that. I refuse to be used anymore. My SD only talks or is nice to me when she wants something, or needs something, but that has stopped because I refuse to buy into her fake I like you crap anymore. I also do not / will not pay her car unsurance anymore.

But if anyone else has any suggestions please let me know. I am not as bad as she or he says, I just don't listen to all there lies anymore.

Speaking of, she told her mom this morning she was late to school because she had to park away from the school. Her dad called her because we need the money amount paid for her car registration, she told him she didn't drive to school today, that she would have the info in a little bit? I am calling her mom, because why lie to one parent and then the other.. Something isn't right...

Happy
"live life to its fullest everyday"