so you will buy this poor little girl a new coat. I highly doubt she has 4 at home. I would buy her a new one & give this one to goodwill.
This is what child support is for, but I would never want a child of mine stuck wearing crap like that.

Buy her a new one and donate the old to Good Will, Hey you might even find a nice one to replace it with.

You could buy her a new one for your house and send her home in the other one. If the BM doesn't want to take care of her child that is her problem, but it doesn't have to be your problem also. Bring the coat with you for pick ups and have her change; put the crappy one back on her when you drop her off w/ BM. And like I always suggest, document everything. If you ever need to take BM to court you have what you need to make a case against her. You won't have to rack your brain trying to remember everything that a judge would need to know.

The obvious question here is WHY hasnt the teacher reported this woman to the appropriate authorities??? That is neglect. That teacher should be reporting this and the people with power would then look at the custodial parent (I am assuming BM) and reem her for this kind of outrageous behavior.

Talk to the teacher or day car provider and ask if/when she reported the neglect. They have the same obligations as a dr.

right up the back seam and tell BM it ripped because it was too small. So she needs to send her in one of the other "four" coats she has at home.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Hi mkaela
We've been dealing with a similar situation for nearly 10 YEARS!!!!!
We have addressed this issue with BM, got the same response you did...if you don't like it, send them in something you deem "appropriate". SK's always wear the crappiest clothes, too small, stained, worn-out....even on family Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. We always have to bring clothes of our own and have kids change so that we can get decent family photographs on holidays.
The kids have "good" clothes that fit, when they are with her. In fact she goes to Salvation Army to shop for "visitation" clothes and they are even marked (on the tags) as "visitation" clothes.
The kids constantly complain to us about their underclothes, shoes, shorts and pants being uncomfortable because they are too small. BM doesn't care. She thinks she is inconveniencing us when she is really only causing discomfort to her own children.
We have tried throwing out the "too small or too raggedy" clothes and sending them home in what we have here, but they're never good enough or she does something to them to make them un-wearable, so we stopped.
By the way, they come her with only the clothes on their back. Besides paying child support we also have to supply all clothes for when they're here....outer wear, shoes, under clothes, coats, etc.
Because there are 3 SK's and 1BK I do most of our clothes shopping at Good Will or yard sales....but I am very picky!!!! We can't afford to buy clothes for two homes..........

I send my daughter to her dad's in clothes that he wouldn't want to keep - usually the same outfit, but it does fit. When I dressed her all cutesy he would keep that outfit and send her back in too small clothes. Its better this way - I dont have to worry about clothes. IF he does send her home in something different I always send her back over in that outfit and she comes home with the original one - we supply all of my SKIDS clothes when they are here which is only summer, and holidays (the live out of state) she gets angry with me for not giving her everything when they go back if they wont fit the next time. I have friends kids who could use them so why give them to her when she wont even send a outfit that fits? I always return those clothes and the girls go home in a new outfit. I also bought the 7 yo school clothes and sent them this year. Of course come Thanksgiving when I asked her to send her in her shoes, etc we bought to kep from buying everything for a two week visit she refused.

Stupid isn't it? Oh well we just buy our own for SS. He has 2 pairs shoes, 5 shorts and shirts, a jumper & jacket 2 PJ's and undies, 2 sets of nice clothes and warm pants. It all only cost a couple of hundred and it was worth it so she could stick her clothes and her whnging up her bum!! Thats one less thing we have to listen to her whine about. We only have him EOW so he doesn't need to much.

As we need to upsize we just include a few bits of nice clothes to his Xmas/bday gifts and they stay here. It makes it less annoying to keep the wardrobe stocked in the right size.

Catch xx
*The Real Catch 22*

Yes, it's just easier for the kids and us to just supply the clothes. I guess I am just appalled at the condition of the clothes sometimes that the kids are wearing when we pick them up.
Socks with a hole so big in the heel that it was like an ankle bracelet when SS went to take his shoes off, rips in the knees of (too short) dress pants after we requested SS wear something a little less worn, underwear barely hanging on to the waistband......
We contact her immediately by e-mail to let her know the condition of the clothes the same evening we bring kids to our home and of course this is all denied by BM...must have happened in the 1 hour car ride to our house somehow.
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Always a new twist or turn.........

Sometimes especially with children who go from home to home, a favorite one thing is stability to them. If she wears the coat because she just loves it, cut it up and make a pillow out of it. If she don't like the coat, yall have a burning ceremony with it. }:)

You might teach pyromania, though. Let us know what you do.

Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!

BM sends him to school wearing crap clothes...I wonder what the teachers think? I don't know if I'm the only one that does this but my BD has play clothes and school clothes..and play clothes are not to be worn to school...and school clothes aren't play clothes...she sends him in clothes he wears on his days off from school which get stained and torn, etc. And don't get me started about not buying FSS new underwear...he has underwear that fit him here but we send him home in the clothes he came in. I'm really contemplating calling CPS the next time he comes with small underwear that are pinching his legs, he has red rings around his legs when he takes them off! She can afford 100 dollar Merrell shoes though and has name brand clothes while her son gets his legs pinched and I'm sure is uncomfortable

we had the same problem with my SD when she was 14 mos old.. she wasnt even freakin walking yet... her damn shoes were too small!!!! we went and bought her new ones and she took her first steps for my husband after wearing those and he will always be so happy about that. Her mother also sent her in onezie pajamas and a wind breaker in freakin 20 degree weather!!! with no extra clothes, no shoes, no nothing. not even a diaper bag. She said that if my husband was going to be spending "that much time with her" PLEASE. 3 days for 4 hours is not fair but thats what he settled with. Good thing that her and my nephew wore the same size diapers at the time. Its just a stupid freakin game that they play to see what more they can get out of you.

"Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."
-Joshua J. Marine