But that's just me. My son is 9 1/2 and has wanted one since he was six. He was disappointed to learn that he has a very long wait ahead of him before he'll be getting a cell phone. My stepdaughters each got theirs - from their mother - when they turned thirteen. I can sort of understand, because she drops them off at the mall with their friends, so they need to have a way to call home for her to pick them up. (I so disagree with this, but hey, I'm just the SM.)

I think she has the right to blow her money on cell phones and let them do whatever they want with them while the girls are in HER care, but who paid for them isn't the issue. When it is YOUR house and YOUR time, then YOUR rules apply, regardless of who bought the stupid things. I would have no heartburn over restricting their cell phone use, especially considering how disruptive it is. BM doesn't need to be in on the discussion, because it's NOT HER HOME. Like you said, if she wants to call them, then she can call the house phone. Cell phones are a privilege, not a right and no one makes the rules in your house/family but YOU and DH.

~ Anne ~

"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)

Up until a week or so ago, BM would call here numerous times in the day for nothing that couldn't wait for visitation. SS's live with her but come here every other wkend. We asked her to stop calling, she would not. We complained to the police because we couldn't take a phone call every 10 min., disrupting our family life. The police contacted her and told her that she could be charged because she was harassing us. Now that there is another form of communication set up between dad and BM (journal) unless it is a life threatening issue, she is NOT to call....period! When she called before for the kids, or they HAD to call her everyday (they are 14 & 11) it was just to check up on us, even as far as how much I am working, where etc....none of her business. So the boys were just here for visitation this wkend, first time since the police told BM to back off. We sat down with the boys and explained that rules in our house have changed somewhat. Because the 14yrs old has a cell phone that BM supplies him with, if she absolutely has to get a hold of them because it is important while they are here, she can call them....within reason. If she abuses this, we will be shutting off the phones during the day and they will only be allowed on at certain times. If she complains because of the $ she has to pay, then she can text them and tell them to call her and we will let them go downtown to the pay phone.....this way she can't bring up in court that it costs her $ because we won't let her talk to them on the land phone. So, we are still allowing them access to a phone if it is really needed, but it is up to BM to use discretion if she doesn't want a large bill at the end of the month....not our problem. As far as the phones going off at meal time, I would put a stop to that. Phones are off between 5-6 or whenever you eat, and phones are turned off at a decent time at night. All the phone calls are just to annoy and get your home life in an uproar, its about her still having control. If she doesn't agree with your rules about the cell phone, then don't allow her to send them and screen her calls through an answering machine. (If she sends them, put them away for the wkend...you will probably get some flack from the kids for sure. Put some boundaries up, we have just started and believe me, this weekend was a much more relaxed one than normal. (Mind you the journal was all full of crap calling us down like normal, but we did not react to it either. Just answered what needed answering and that was it...I imagine she is in a pretty pissy mood with us over our new and revised set of rules, but too bad for her!) Good luck to you!
Corie

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Twin 11 yr old girls w/ cell phones, shit will start to get outta hand. Sounds like it already has. However when the girls are at your home perhaps you can enforce designated phone time. Also very important(b/c I'm sure BM has not done this)CELL PHONE ETIQUETTE!!! Your suggestion is completely fair! Especially to him! He will be able to spend better quality time w/ them. While they are visiting you guys- BB should be told to nip the excessive calling in the bud. That's likened to sabatoging visitation, monopolizing their time while visiting with dad. GRRR...
When my SS turned 9-yes-9, BB bought him a phone. Mainly b/c she left him alone unsupervised everyday, claiming it to be "peace of mind" for her, not to mention, "well lots of the other kids on his baseball team have one!" Oh well then sure that all sounds logical. But really, children THAT YOUNG and IRRESPONSIBLE should stick to using their parents home or cell phone. HELLO PEOPLE!!! WTF??? Needless to say after just one year and 6 replacement phones later, BB just could not keep up finacially with her piece of mind! LOL!
It sounds like your BB bought those phones for the wrong reason. So she doesn't have to deal with hearing your voice? Jeez- that woman is a prize to behold. Hubby ought to grow a set and remind her that HIS time with HIS daughters should not be monopolized by HER INCESSANT INSECURITY. Good grief!!!!!!!!

"All that we are is a result of what we have thought."- Buddha

Sorry, I'm bad at titles:
Anyway SS14 and SD 13 have asked about getting cell phones for a long time but I don't think it's necessary yet. We have walkie-talkie's with a 5 - 10 mile radius for the neighborhood so that helps keep them quiet. I figure though about the time they start getting rides with friends or driving we'll have to give in. I don't want to give them one when they are driving but I guess we'll have to. And they'll probably have to pay for their portion.
Their step cousins all have phone ranging from age 9 - 14 and they hate that they don't have one, but I just explain that every family is different and this is the choice we've made. And since one BM doesn't pay child support and claims to never have money (except to go to concerts and for smokes) she's not giving SS14 one soon and since the other BM pays minimum child support and only sees SD13 for like 15 minutes in a supervised visit at the court house, I'm pretty sure she won't be getting one either.
I dont' mind being "mean" on this issue, because I've only had a cell phone for 6 years (since I was 21) and that was only because I was hardly ever around a land line, I drove everywhere.

I did give SD a cell at 11, it was only for emergencies(BM is a little off) and we rarely ever called when SD was at moms. I do not regret it at all, But in your case it's your house and time- If SD came W/ a psp but ended up grounded wouldn't DH take it away? I believe in REASONABLE contact but this obviously isn't that- the rules sound agreeable to me.

A few months ago, I was considering it. But, I decided to wait. My SS is now 11 and he's mature enough to handle the responsiblity. He does extremely well with his gadgets, but we aren't going to hand him an adult bells and whistles phone either... instead, I think we're going to give him a Kajeet phone that has parental control on it, and lock the phone during certain hours, can block certain calls, etc. Plus, we want it to stay here while in his mom's care. (Too many little hands at his mother's house.)

Now, my SD does have one of those Firefly phones that her grandmother purchased for her, but fortunately for us, she never uses it... thank god! I was really nervous when I saw her gleam from ear to ear to show us her new little gadget. I just cringed... thinking, great... we're going to have one of THOSE BMs, ie meaning having constant
'connection' (interruptions) with her daughter. I do believe that when she gets older, we will have this problem, unfortunately... (maybe I'll bet her to the punch and get her a controlled phone! HEHEHE)

Because of that, I held off getting one for SS, thinking, man... what if BM reacted this way, yet I wasn't planning using the phone as a interrogation gadget either. But I do believe that some BM's DO use it as such, the underline reason for the phone is so that they can have a 'connection' to their kids at all times. Some justify it. I don't think it's really a problem, until the phone starts to get inundated with calls... than yes, I would take the phones, turn them off- maybe just mysteriously disappear... I'm sorry, but you should keep better track of your stuff! LMAO.

We are waiting until xmas, and than we will give SS a phone. He's been hinting, asking and wanting one. But, we want to make sure WE have the control over HIS actions with the phone. And to avoid a stench with BM, just in case, we'll keep it here until he's a little older yet. Kinda like an intro period.

So, as for the girls, I would make a rule that all phones MUST be turned off... TEXTING included during these hours, and be strict about it. If they don't adhere to the rules, take the phones away, put them in a safe place, give them back only at certain times to check to see if "Mom" called, have them call her back at a set time to 'check' in, etc... you make the rules, it's your house... not BM's.

StepMom

Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...

Just read my latest entry on my blog to hear the fiasco I'm dealing with concerning BF's 11 yr. old and her cell phone!
As far as my own 11 yr. old son having a cell phone, I'm getting him one in January for only 2 reasons: First, he'll be 12 by then and will be able to stay home by himself after school (actually he's more than capable of staying home NOW by himself, but in my state/county a child can legally become a 'latchkey' kid when they turn 12). Obviously I want a way to reach him at home after school. The second reason is my son has worked all summer and saved his OWN money (more than $100) with the specific intent of being able to pay for the phone he wants. My cell phone plan allows me to add a line for only $10 and I have unlimited text/picture messaging and a large number of minutes on my calling plan so I don't have to worry about any huge cell phone bills. Of course, if he abuses the phone I will have no problem taking it away completely, which would also mean he would have to go back to the baby-sitter's after school...and that alone will keep him 'in line'! Because of course, he's 'too old' for a baby-sitter...lol.
As far as privileges and expectations with the phone, I have made them clear to my son WAY before he even has it so there is no misunderstandings. And repercussions if he abuses it.