Cool the friendship and see what happens. I truly hope his wife isn't pregnant and/or doesn't get pregnant while he's getting himself together.
I would worry more that he will still be emotionally attached to her when the two of you get back together. It sounds as if you have already decided to and just need to know that it's right.
No one can tell you who to fall in love with and whether it's right or wrong. You have to decide that for yourself.
I do have to wonder though, If he cheated on you and now is tempted to cheat on her, do you have faith that he can remain faithful if the two of you reunite? If not can you handle the heartache of the re-occuring affairs that he will have?
He needs to get himself together before he makes any decisions. You need to know that the decisions you make are based on your best interest and not solely on his decision.
If you are really detined to be together wouldn't it be good to know that it was done at the right time and in the right way so that you, him and your child don't all end up hurt again?
Good luck.
Lisa Dawn

Don't want to be harsh, but you shouldn't get involved unless he is seriously unattached again. I got involved with a man that wasn't divorced yet, although separated for a 1 1/2 years. He was not and nor do I think will ever get over his first wife. I have suffered for 3 years with the baggage....think about starting out new and detach.....just try harder.....having a child together makes that harder....I have two ex's and would never consider ever in a million years getting back together.....remember maybe you couldn't get along when you lived together, now that you do get along, you think you can do it, and you do get along because maybe you don't live together........just consider carefully is really what I would say....no doubt someone will get hurt again.......

You need to go to relationship therapy with this one. If there weren't issues between you and things were 'right' before then there would have been no cheating (coz cheating happens for a reason usually).

BUT you obviously have a deep and special connection with this person so go and put some work into making it better this time around before you go and make the same mistakes and fall into the same patterns of behaviour again.

Best of luck.

I agree with the other posts. I've been in a situation where my husband and I keep separating. During the separation, I think I am over it and then we see each other and he does the little things I always loved, like flowers or a chore or simply telling me a cute joke and I fall in love again. After a while, I take him back thinking we are "fixed" and all will be perfect and guess what - the problems begin. I try to ignore them at first thinking we need breathing space but they invariably creep back in. My point to you is yes, maybe you are meant to be with him but you do need to figure out what went wrong - why did he cheat...why you retaliated, etc. because if you don't whatever the underlying issue is will likely creep back in. He is married. I think I would cool it off and see what happens. If he divorces his current wife, don't let it be about you. Let it be because that relationship didn't work on it's own accord. Then in my opinion and only then will you be free to pursue a reunion with him and together and also separately try to get to the bottom of where you guys went wrong so that if you are together, your relationship is stronger and healthier then ever. I do wish you luck. I know how hard it is to really miss your soulmate.

If it happened once, then it's possible it can happen twice.

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

I believe you're making it way too easy for him. A good woman is worth fighting for...let him FIGHT. Don't promise him anything. Regardless of how His wife is, he chose her. Let him deal with it. Let him be a man and get of it the same way he got in it..ALONE. Let him know that you care about him and if he gets his divorce, if you're not in a committed relationship, you guys can "see" what happens. Until then...talk to him here and there/offer advice and date other people. Give him just enuf attention to let him know you're a friend but you're single and are keeping your options open. You never know with these things...at any time things could turn around with him and his wife. Where would you be then? Stranger things have happen..you just never know.. I wish you the best.

The guy cheated on you, NOW he's cheating on her basically because he's trying to make sure he has another place to land in case this one doesn't work out. This is harsh but the truth is he's a scumbag, and its a hard reality when we have children from these kinds of guys. You would be better off finding out why you would even talk to this man let alone consider getting mixed up with him again. I would say find a therapist to work on your self esteem and judgement and when you decide to date, only date those with good values and a solid foundation. Make it a goal to not get involved with the likes of your ex. I say this because to many people end up repeating the same mistakes, now you have the chance to change your future. good luck and please don't even talk to him! Oh and if everything wasn't enough of a clue....the wait one year to get out of debt is disgusting. So he wants to use her one more year while you wait...thats a lowlife.

How can you trust him after he cheated on you! I could never go back w/someone that did that to me that is just a NO NO. You can do better than him.

-happy mom