First of all, you deserve a medal for living with four women in the first place. Even those of us who are perfect (no eye-rolls, please!) can be a handful.

If she has no control over her children and no desire to gain control over them, then there is not much you can do. If you think it's bad now, just wait until one of those out-of-control girls comes home knocked up and YOU get to help raise and financially support yet another generation of out-of-control kids.

I've said this before, sometimes we ask for advice when what we really want is for someone to tell us it's okay to do what we want to do. If what you want is to leave, then by all means, do so. You don't need anyone's permission for that. You would be totally justified to leave a situation where the kids don't respect you or your things and where their mother doesn't respect you or your feelings and rights as a second adult in the household.

If, on the other hand, you don't want to leave, then I guess you need to have a serious heart-to-heart talk with this woman and lay it all out for her in no uncertain terms. If she's willing to make some changes, then maybe there's hope. But if she's taking the attitude that you can either get over it or leave, well, what does that say about her feelings for YOU? Life is too short to spend it with people who treat you like shit.

~ Anne ~

Boy, oh, boy, I'd be running faster than a jack-rabbit with a school boy aiming a pellet gun at it, I tell you!

I give it to you, man... bow down to you. You have got to be the BEST man to survive through that!

I agree with Anne whole heartedly, 100%. If you stay, set some boundaries ASAP, set consequences up for 'damage control', be sure to duck your head, build a burr....whatever works, and wear a ballistic bodyarmour vest under your shirt...

Once again I am opening myself to a huge slamming here. But hell it's fun to play the devils advocate--hehe.
I can understand your girlfriends minset...to a degree. I am a lot like her and me and my B/F have a lot of disagreements on the discipline issue.
I will say that I am much more lenient and patient than I should be with my kids. He is 'old school' BUT...I will not allow my kids to run the show or disrespect and adult. I do however believe that kids have opinions that needs to be heard sometimes. That my kids can get away with leaving things laying around(to an extent) because the will do things for me. Example: Kid can leave dirty laundry on the floor in the bathroom but after everyones shower they will clean the entire bathorrom for me I didn't make the ,mess and wasn't a part of the making of it.
I don't believe a kid should be able to get away with laziness but some people are good in some things and some are good in others.
As long as they know how to basically do all that is necessary for survival and decency, then I will allow them to choose what they feel they are best at and we ALL work together as a family to make sure EVERYTHING is getting done as it should be.
I don't think this teaches them how to be waited on, but instead teaches them teamwork and partnership skills that are necessary in any family or place of employment.
I will however agree that you are a saint for putting up with the things you have described and that you do need to set down rules/ limits for your self and the household before this progresses. If you allow yourself to be in this situation as is, you are in for a whole lot more hurt and heartache. I know from experience, been there..still doing that---lol
Good Luck and God Bless
Lisa Dawn

When my husband's teen daughter got completely out of hand he was at a loss for how to discipline her. He tried everything and she ignored it. Grounding. No phone, she always found a way around it. Finally he got to the point of smacking her with a belt and I told him he couldn't do it again.

I should have kept my mouth shut. She ended up stopping meth -after- she found out she was pregnant, which is real bad news for baby. She is now on welfare and trying to finish high school at 18. She called to find out why her insurance card no longer works. The insurance card she was provided with because she was a minor no longer work now that she is OFF THE INSURANCE. This gives you an idea of her grasp on the world. The baby's Father is a former drug dealer with multiple violent convictions, I only know cuz he bragged about it at Christmass, who works in fast food. His record will limit him all his life, even the jobs that take felons don't like the violent types.

I feel sorry for the baby and I wish I'd let my hb do what he wanted. Maybe he would have jiggled a few brain cells loose. I'm not condoning extreme violence. I grew up with real violence and that is not a joke, but when someone is self destructing completely there needs to be something done.

Anyway, this is the sort of thing that goes on with undisciplined kids. Only you can know how much you can handle, but I would personally not be down for what you put up with.

Good luck,
Susanna

"One breath at a time is an acceptable plan."
Ani DiFranco

As fast as your feet will take you!!! Life is too short, to spend it that miserable. Your gf needs to learn how to be a MOM instead of trying to be her kid's friend all the time.

NCP should have rights too!No offense bnunzio, but before DH and I even discussed living with each other( we did for a year, before marraige) we discussed EVERYTHING imaginable that could and possibly would effect OUR lives together, including discipline of my two children and his one child. We discussed exactly what each of us expected and how we felt punishments should be executed and then we found a meeting ground that was comfortable for us both. In the end, DH and I both punish OUR children and if I do the punishment and there just happens to be a concern or disagreement( like punishment a bit to harsh for the act) then DH discusses this with me in private..Btw, this works in the reverse for him as well. Again, at these times WE discuss each others side and if we cant agree with each other than we find a meeting ground. The point being, no matter what the children do, or dont do for that matter, No matter which of us dishes out the punishment, the main thing is WE show a combined front to the children. Dh and I agree that the children should NEVER see us in disagreement over them or any issue concerning them as this becomes a weapon for them to play agiants us...If you and g.f cannot establish some sort of boundaries and acceptable forms of punishment that BOTH OF YOU will stand by( meaning g.f cannot go ok to you and then let children off) then the children have won and unfortunatly bnunzio...your shit outa luck....move on, there are plenty of other single women/single mothers out there who would not only agree with you but love having a good man in their's and their childrens lives that actually give a damn.

As a frustrated stepfather and writer I've decided to write about stepchildren from Hell. (not the name) If you would like to participate please email me at cornellmarcom@gmail.com with your stories. First name and last initial will be all that I need except for the state.

If your story is told I will send a copy of the book free of charge.

Thanks,
Bill Cornell