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Is any other step dad feel totally unappreciated by in laws

kjstepdad's picture

I have been raising my step daughter who i call my daughter now for almost 12 years, her so called bio dad has not seen her for 8 months this time, he has never called just to talk to her, has never done homework with her, has never been to a field trip, or conference, doesn't know her favorite color, or band, or class in school. Last time he disappeared it was a year long , before that , another 8 months. My inlaws think they are my daughters mom and dad and always try to over run and over rule us, even told my wife that they had hoped she didn't make it out of her seizure she had so they could be her parents. Also told me to die of cancer which i fought for 4 years and has no cure.. they hacked her snap chat and pretended to be my daughter on 4 occasions and scared some of my kids friends. they have smoked pot in front of her since she can remember, dressed her up like a waitress and showed her how to make her drunk step grandpas drinks , drove drunk repeatedly with her in the car, showed her how to roll a joint, they have told her to lie to us, go home and be naughty they have said. we have e rules that they keep disrespecting, and including her dad who made a video of him being humped by his dog, and having his dog hump her after. he takes her to parties where his friends pass her around to people we dont know, his old room mates have told him over n over to step up and be a man not a coward.this poor girl is so angry and has such an attitude, and she defies everyone. She lies and it hurts to yell at her and ground her.

Comments

JustAgirl42's picture

Move?

lieutenant_dad's picture

Uhhh...

First and foremost, don't let the in-laws near her. Your wife has the ability to say NO and keep them from her.

Second, do you have proof of Dad being abusive/neglectful? If so, work with an attorney for supervised visitation. My guess is that he'll disappear entirely at that point.

Third, why isn't your wife stepping up to protect her daughter? Why does she allow this continue? You can be angry at Dad and the in-laws, but you also need to put your foot down with your wife. Ultimately, you have no rights and very limited responsibilities to this child. If Mom won't step up, there isn't anything you can do for her. It then comes down to what can YOU tolerate and how long will YOU be involved with this train wreck?

beebeel's picture

This so called biomom is neglecting and abusing her child by allowing her parents anywhere near her. Poor kid has two worthless parents.

mommadukes2015's picture

It doesn't sound like you're underappreciated, it sounds like they are insane. You don't need approval from people like that. You and your family should stay away from them and their toxicity. And unfortunately, whether these in-laws are fashioned after Mommy Dearest herself or not, no one will sing you accolades for being a decent human being-which you are. You need to place value on what you have done/do for your family yourself. When you do that, no amount of BS will be able to touch you. You know you're doing a good thing. THAT has to be enough.

advice.only2's picture

"we have e rules that they keep disrespecting, and including her dad who made a video of him being humped by his dog, and having his dog hump her after. he takes her to parties where his friends pass her around to people we dont know"

And you have called the cops and reported this....as has her mother....and CPS is involved now right?!