Just an update...
BM has been quiet for a little bit. There will be times she is blowing up my DH's phone because there is something going bad in her life and she needs someone to take it out on. DH has been making YSS sleep in his room. I am really surprised at this but maybe he is just tired of me complaining about it so he finally started to do something about it. I know that if I wouldn't have complained about it nothing would have been done about it which is totally sad but at least DH is making YSS sleep in his own bed now. We will see how long this lasts. OSS asked me again how much money we make. I guess he doesn't understand that the answer will still be the same that's it's none of his business and it's rude to ask people that. So I once again had to search the house to make sure DH didn't leave any kind of financial information laying around. DH left his tax return in a stack of his mail so I had to get it and put it in our room before OSS found it. OSS is always going to be BM's little spy but I don't get why she cares about how much money DH makes she has to wait two more years before she can file a motion for increase in CS. Tonight is also a skid night oh joy!!!
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I don't think it's sad that
I don't think it's sad that nothing would have been done about the sleeping in the living room thing. The reason it's not sad is because it doesn't bother your DH that he does it. So, unless you told him it bothered YOU...why would he have done anything about it? Your DH can't read your mind about this stuff so you need to figure out how to communicate things like that in a calm way. Nothing wrong with saying "I know it doesn't bother you when SS sleeps in the living room, but I don't like to have to tiptoe around him in the morning and he always seems grumpy and sleepy" Instead of getting all wound up and VENTING about it.. just tell him when things need to change.
So, is there no reason that his EX can take him back to court...no change of circumstances that she might be able to use to get it done?
Nope I dont think so.
Nope I dont think so.
Hopefully that is the case
Hopefully that is the case then. I would get a locking file cabinet for all my important papers or if you have a home office a lock on the door.
There are all sorts of answers/responses for OSS if he continues to ask.
How much do you make.
1. It's not polite to discuss money or people's salary.
2. Why do you need to know?
3. It's not your business.
4. No matter how much anyone makes, it's never enough.. lol
5. Just enough.
6. Why? are you thinking of giving me a loan?
7. It doesn't matter what I make.. I'm still not raising your allowance.
8. Every time you ask me, YOUR allowance is getting reduced.
SD9 likes to ask how much I
SD9 likes to ask how much I make. I normally just respond with "enough to keep you fed and in clothes that fit." Normally satisfies her... Though occasionally I get asked if that means we can afford a house and how much more we need to get a house (she's just as sick as living with the in-laws as I am, LMAO) to that I just respond "If I could afford a house kiddo, we'd have a house, that's all you need to know."
She's not spying for BM, it seems to be genuine impatience on getting our own place, but normally the vague answers get her to shut up and stop asking. LOL
I wish that was the case with
I wish that was the case with my OSS. I have caught him numerous times looking through drawers and mail on our table so I had enough and make sure everything is put up. Considering he was taking pictures of our house as well and sending them to his mother because she told him I will never trust SS and neither will my DH. I get it sometimes kids ask questions and there is no hidden agenda behind it because they just are impatient or are curious.
Ugh, the pictures would be
Ugh, the pictures would be WAY too far, he'd probably lose his phone... One reason I'm so hesitant about getting SD9 an iPod even is because BM is nosey, she hates responsibility and limits contact, but I could see her attempting to use it to feed any narcissism. I neither want SD9 to be used, or for BM to have a window into a house she's not even allowed to come to. I can't say for sure BM would bother since she ditched the girls, but you never know... PLUS, for now SD9 never goes anywhere without either DH or I, so I don't see the need as long as she has contact.
I wouldn't trust him either... It really sounds like BM has a nasty hold on it all...
I don't think I'd be able to
I don't think I'd be able to help myself if ss suddenly started sending pictures to BM... I think I'd confiscate his phone, AND send her a message asking "BM this is Secret - I've just confiscated ss's phone for breaching my privacy. Can I ask WHY you're getting ss to send you pictures of inside MY home?" then screenshot the reply or lack therof to myself.
I happened to see it on SS's
I happened to see it on SS's phone one day because he forgot to delete the pictures and text messages of BM actually telling him to take pictures of things in our house then delete everything. I was livid because I was the one that saw it on his phone and then told DH about it so that's how we know that we cannot tell him anything that you don't want BM to know.
Honestly, if I had seen what
Honestly, if I had seen what you saw that phone would have remained in my possession until my DH could see the evidence. Or I would have taken pictures of that actual evidence. And... I would tell my DH that due to that very specific spying prompted by his mother I would not allow the kids to have their phones at the house unless it was under supervision to make a call then return to you.
Now, if the question was "ohhh send me a picture of your room pookie" after he told her about something "cool".. then I wouldn't think so badly of it. I mean, my sds wanted their mommy to see the room at our house because they were proud of it.
My DH has a screen shot of
My DH has a screen shot of the text messages and pictures on his phone. It specifically said to take a picture of this, etc and then delete the pictures and messages after you send them to me. So it was a typical snake in the grass move.
Then you have a DH problem if
Then you have a DH problem if he allows the kids to have free access to phones in your home now.
Have you guys sat down with
Have you guys sat down with SSs and talked to them about privacy and how the nosier they are (I assume just OSS) that the more privileges they lose? Are you just tiptoeing around and putting your things away or are you calling him out on it? If i saw SS going through my papers, there would be consequences. Are there? What is your DH doing about it?
Yes...DH has talked to OSS
Yes...DH has talked to OSS about being nosy and that everyone has a right to privacy in their home. BM did a number on him and he believes that my DH is the bad guy and treated BM horribly which is why he is so loyal and would do anything she asked him to do whatever the consequence.
Gotta love that... For a
Gotta love that... For a while SD4 was convinced (by BM's lies) that the only reason SD4 wasn't with her is because daddy was a "bossy a$$" who wouldn't let her have her... In reality she ditched and doesn't care to take care of them...
When I got home this weekend
When I got home this weekend after my taxes were done SS15 came out of his room and asked me if I was happy with the amount I was getting back. I said - ummm what makes you think I'm getting anything back? He said, well Dad gets over $5K so I figured you did too. What did you get back? :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
I said - I owe them because I have to keep more of my check to pay for those things that your DBDB doesn't.
It's a lie but he doesn't need to know that.
I have no idea where that question came from. Normally he doesn't ask.
Yeah he could just be being
Yeah he could just be being nosy. Is BM in the picture?
Not at all! But she assumes
Not at all! But she assumes how much he makes based on the fact he has had the same job for over 25 years and knows the pay rate