Am Overly Sensitive????
My husband and I have been married for coming up on 4 years together for 5. I have 6 adult step children and step grandchildren who I adore I am also the proud parent of 3 adults and 2 teenagers. My husband ex wife is another story. I met her after my husband and I got engaged. I thought we had a good rapport until we got close to the wedding date. Then all of a sudden she began to call him constantly. The week we got married while my husband was off from work she called my husband to asking him to help her move. My husband went because as he says "I just don't want to hear youngest daughter 20 at the time and former mother-in-laws mouth". His oldest daughter (27 years old at the time) lost her job and and was being disrespectful to her mother so her mother kick her out of her house. I understand her reasons for putting her out. But what I don't understand was she then called my husband and demanded for him to find their daughter a job and a place to stay. At the time we are trying to relocate to a large home, and didn't not have the space to accommodate. So when my husband told her there wasn't enough room she began to yell at my husband saying that he was a bad father and that she was like that all because of him. And if that wasn't bad called their daughter a whore. Every time the is an argument between her and one of the their children or and argument among their kids she calls him to come and put a stop to it. But what really bothers me is that twice she beckoned my husband to pick up their 30 year old twins from work. The shifts that they have never end before midnight and my husband has to get up for work at 3 am to go to work. He drives trucks locally. Now I don't have a problem with him helping his children, but I have an issue when people are being inconsiderate of his rest. A couple of weeks ago after attending bible study at our church he didn't come home. So 3 hours I waited with no phone call. I finally get a phone call with him saying he was called to pick up the twins. I mad at this point. But then his ex wife calls me to say yes I asked him to pick up the twins because they live far from their place of work. . . .at that point I stopped listening.
I was pissed for 2 reason number 1 he and his ex wife come to an agreement on something and I didn't even no heads up. I cooked a nice dinner for the 2 of us since we had the house to ourselves the evening and I was looking forward to spending time with my husband. I wouldn't bother me if things like this happened on occasion but it happens all the time. I really love my husband, but I am really getting tired of the games. We can't go out to dinner without him getting a phone call from him ex wife about a major catastrophe breaking out and needing his assistance or involvement. And my husband although its irritates like hell because he has verbalized it to me multiple times but allows it to continue. Its getting to a point where its putting a strain on our marriage. A few night ago we are trying to spend an intimate evening together and yup you guess it, the phone rings. So my husband going from engaging in quality and much needed intimacy with his wife to become highly upset over some bull that broke out among her and one of their twins. Am I being overly sensitive or am I right to be pissed off. I hope this makes since. This my 1st attempt at releasing some of this anger that I have been caring. Praying for a restful nights sleep.
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Comments
Tell that pseudo-man you are
Tell that pseudo-man you are married to that he needs to "man up". If all of his children are adults he should block her ass from all forms of communication with him.
When I met my DH his sons were both adults (early 20s for one and early 30s for the other). DH had lived in another part of the country before moving to be with me. I lived about a mile from BM (although I'd never met her).
After DH moved in with me he decided to stop by an visit with BM just to catch up on old times. A very bad move on his part. I came unglued. I made it crystal clear that he could either have a relationship with BM or with me - not both.
He and BM had a very short marriage very young (teens) that produced the first son and a ONS years after their divorce that produced the second son. DH had been married to another woman for almost 15 years after that. BM was remarried and there was absolutely nothing between DH and BM - yet I did not want to share a man who had another woman in his life.
Mine was not even a not upsetting BM situation. It was more of a not upsetting me situation.
You have a right to not have to accept crud that makes you unhappy.
Sadly he is still emotionally
Sadly he is still emotionally married to his ex.
Clearly he wasn't paying
Clearly he wasn't paying attention at bible study. You are not being sensitive, your DH is spineless when it comes to BM.
DH is the problem, not his Ex
DH is the problem, not his Ex wife, tell him to get his balls back from her and start telling her NO...
The children are all adults and it's not his responsibility to accommodate them, support them financially or find them work.... they are old enough to do all of that on their own.
I would seriously tell my husband, if you do not stop this shit, I will file for divorce and you can move back to your Ex wife,
Hahaha...girl you need to get
Hahaha...girl you need to get a real man...!!!
Say what she calls him...say what the EXmil calls him...say what he was helping his ex during YOUR wedding...say what about his infantilized grown a** kids...30 yo twins...
He** NO!
In my house one(.5 really) of those and "It is serious discussion time!"(mhmm yup you poked the bear and now...lol)
WTF? What is with these adult
WTF? What is with these adult children not driving? Hahahahaha twins that work together and need a ride from daddy. Wow. How humiliating. I bet none of them have dating relationships. Do they still wear matching outfits, too?
Lmao wow.
There is no reason for your H
There is no reason for your H to still be communicating with his ex wife. Their children are all adults who can call daddee themselves. He is allowing BM to still control him, and by extension you as well.
None of this is normal or healthy. Tell Walter Mitty that he is only answerable to one woman, and that's you.
You are not being too
You are not being too sensitive, your DH is being too INsensitive and still has himself crammed up BMs butt for some reason. Why in the world would he care of BM is fighting with 30 year old ADULTS??? Why do 30 year old ADULTS need rides home from work?? Why does he feel responsible for finding a 27 year old a job??
Best question of all is why in the wide world of sports is he still even taking calls from BM????? If skids need a ride, THEY can call him, if skid wants help finding a job, THEY can call him. If there is some emergency or catastrophe SKIDS can call him. There is absolutely NO reason for him to be in contact with BM, and most definitely NOT at the level he is currently. NONE.
I would have a come to Jesus meeting with him. No way in tarnation would I live with this level of nonsense.
Unless your DH has a Lyft
Unless your DH has a Lyft sticker on his car, the adult offspring have many other options.
You, as others have pointed out, have a DH problem for sure. It’s time you made your unhappiness his problem.