I muddled through skid-stress-mas, my last couple of blogs with a 'do not engage' mantra. IH (I started calling him idiot husband a couple of blogs ago) was expecting his special snowflake for the holidays and because I hate it so, IH took preventative measures to cut me down and refuse to allow me any boundaries without epic altercations. Well, step son came, claimed his gifts... gave not even a 'Merry Christmas' to me or IH and my daughters... b!tched about his gifts, preached about what he would be getting from BM and her family upon his return but didn't leave Tuesday as planned... or Friday as per amended plan... or Saturday as I was desperate for... but on Sunday. He left the most massive mess in his wake in my upstairs as well as the efficiency apartment in my basement that served as slothcamp. I power cleaned and burned sage after it left. I am so angry at the aggression and BS I received from IH, but I am dealing with that in therapy.

Kind of OT, but I guess a tad Step related...

IH and I have 2 daughters, almost 4 yrs and just over 1 yr. IH has a son (I call him Fluffy due to his coddled, entitled, special pet nature). He is almost 18 yrs. MIL has 2 sons, IH and his equally idiot half brother. Lets call him IBIL for the sake of ease. So MIL has (in age order) Fluffy SS, IBIL's son 14, IBIL's daughter 12, IBIL's daughter 3 1/2, my daughter 3 1/2, and my daughter 1. 2 grandsons and 4 granddaughters. My MIL (at the demand of IH) does the child care for my girls while I work. I had a lot of problems with child care before MIL started watching the girls... the licensed facility was closed down amidst allegations of neglect, the first home care never told me about a flea infestation of her dogs until I, lets say, noticed it... the last home care lasted 3 months and oldest DD got a black eye (tripped over a slide), lump on her head (fell off a dining chair), split lip (fought another toddler for a toy) and finally, two chipped teeth (caregiver had 'no idea' how that happened).

MIL is ok, I guess... not what I dreamed for my kids and not even making me feel at ease while I work. At least no *major issues/injuries*... she proudly tells me how she fed the girls candy and cookies while returning the healthy foods I pack every day but no broken teeth. Diaper rash on the 1 yr old... but no broken teeth. My area is extremely limited for childcare.

My complaint is how MIL treats *girls*. She has admitted to me that as the mother of boys she prefers boys. IBIL has largely abandoned his older son and daughter with her while he and his younger daughter play happy family with wife #2. MIL is straight cruel to my niece. She is a nice enough kid, bored... abandoned by crack head mom, rejected by step mom, left behind by IBIL so he can play happy family with wife #2. Maybe kind of 'feral' but always offers to help me with my girls, is polite and kind... but wants attention. Nephew is day and night alone playing video games. A cry baby, like fluffy... and wouldn't lift a finger to raise a glass of water if someone next to him was on fire. MIL bought nephew an X Box 1... gave Fluffy $300... and got the 4 girls 2 gifts each from a dollar store. Niece actually took her christmas money from other relatives and bought my DD's thoughtful gifts. She asked for one thing for Christmas and did not receive it. A $20 item. I thought it a special request so I left if for someone more special to buy. When I heard she did not receive it, I purchased it immediately online. MIL told me I was wrong and niece had 'not earned it'... its $20 b!tch... you dont get to tell me what I do with my money'.

I want to start looking for alternate childcare to-day. I am so over her being around my girls... but I know it is one more fight IH and I will have.