More Update on Skid-Stress-Mas
I want to assure everyone who was worried about stepspawn 17 riding the big, scary choo choo train all alone for 2.5 hours... he arrived safe and sound last Friday. Tis the season for miracles.
I know I shouldn't complain... I went from 24/7/365 steplife to seeing it every now and then, maybe twice a year.
Just like I changed calling "D"H to IH (idiot husband) on here... I am going to give stepspawn a new name... Fluffy. He reminds me of a spoiled little poofy pet of my IH's.
Fluffy arrived on Friday. It is sleeping in my well appointed basement. There is a guest bedroom, spa bath and living area with efficiency kitchen. Fluffy sleeps with the light on all night, needs the door to the upstairs open... He will be 18 in August and he needs the light on all night... in every room of the basement... He has not lifted a finger... not to feed himself, not to pick up... Fluffy is on vacation at a four star resort staffed by... ME!!!
I know I said in my first post about this that I would not feed/clean up/serve Fluffy in anyway, but I find myself doing all of that anyway. Why?
I notice IH has taken a very hostile stance against me. Like, everything I do or say ends in an argument. He is putting everything on my plate (unFluffy related) and then going off on if or how it was done. It is like he is trying to tip some power scale so he and Fluffy get everything they want from me because I am too beat down to fight all the time. IH has me driving Fluffy to his friends every morning because I 'pass there on my way to work' and I have no idea when Fluffy is leaving... supposed to be Tuesday, pushed to Friday... now maybe Saturday. I have no say. I pay half the bills... but IH says it is Fluffy's house too... Fluffy set his playstation up in my livingroom (again, basement has a full room with big screen TV, etc) and plays Call of Duty. My 3yr old and 1yr old are banished to our rooms because I don't want them seeing the things that game plays on the screen. IH once chastized me for watching Investigation Discovery while DD 1 napped and DD 3 played in the dining room... it was 'violent' and 'graphic'... but if I suggest Fluffy play Call of Duty in the basement I am 'banishing him' and I am interferring with their time together.
Again, I went from 24/7/365 with Fluffy to, maybe, 2x a year for 1 week + at a time. I know it is better... but for IH it put him into Disney Dad overload. Its like he is worse now then ever before... and he is willing to rip me apart just to tip the power scale in his and Fluffy's favor so that I 1) continue to serve them and 2) can't establish boundaries (ie: what day is Fluffy leaving?)
So so angry right now.
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Comments
Oh, I'm afraid my mouth would
Oh, I'm afraid my mouth would get me in BIG BIG trouble in this situation.
I don't know how you are not going off on the both of them.
My mouth would too....I would
My mouth would too....I would be cussing them both out. And Fluffy would have no choice but to play downstairs. I'm angry for you
That PS4 would be f*cking
That PS4 would be f*cking missing.
Oh no, not the system. Just
Oh no, not the system. Just the power cord. Or the wifi password would change. Or the controllers would disappear. I'd want the sight of the thing still there as SS and IH have a meltdown trying to find things. And heave help either of them if they got in my face about it. Not my stuff, not my responsibility to keep track of it.
I'd also leave early for work and "forget" SS. He can Uber it, or his adult friends can pick his adult arse up.
Worst case scenario, I'd use IH's credit card to book a luxury stay at a local hotel with my kiddos. "Well, if SS gets a vacation, then I only think it's fair that our kids and I get one, too. Plus, now you can have some one-on-one bonding time with SS. Taaa!"
"HAHA, he is going to have a
"HAHA, he is going to have a rude awakening in the military."
When he has a DI about an inch from his face cussing and screaming and making him yell back and then like four others swarm over because they call it "blood in the water." LOL
Grrr these double standards
Grrr these double standards used to piss me off so much (I was a full timer too) take pleasure in knowing little fluffy umpkins will soon be in a world where he won’t be able to play the princess.
If Fluffy had 9 lives, he
If Fluffy had 9 lives, he would have spent them all at this point...
Lilywen, your post just makes
Lilywen, your post just makes me sad...you seem like a really nice person and I am not being mean when I say that you are letting this happen by not living authentically. I know that your DH's head will explode if you even think about not doing for Fluffy, but you can't play "go along to get along" and then get upset. Are you afraid of your DH? What would ever convince you to suffer these circumstances?
Yes, Fluffy will move on but your DH will be convinced of his power over you and I suspect the bullying will continue...I am not saying leave, but I am asking you to love yourself more and be the strong woman you portray in your posts by standing up for your personal rights...
Like the posters stated
Like the posters stated above, just stop doing everything for HIS kid, you have zero obligation and your generosity is expected instead of appreciated by either of these men.
You are being bullied in your own home by your husband, et. al. What can they do to you if you stop doing all this? Nothing, other than yell at you and be nasty; all you are dealing with right now, it sounds anyway, so stop for your own sanity and emotional well being.
Nobody is protecting you; so now you will have to do it! If your husband is going to act like a jerk to you, at least make it for a cause that will protect you --in the end.
Which branch is this kid
Which branch is this kid going into? My future son in law scored super high on the ASVAB and is in the USAF with a good job. About his desire to get free housing and healthcare...it ain’t free. You work your butt off for it. Now the Air Force isn’t like the marines or army. My FSIL just had a lovely six months stay in northern Syria. He couldn’t communicate with us until he and his crew set up communications working about three weeks literally around the clock. No choice, they had to communicate - especially with ISIS two miles away. He’s gonna love the “nice” places he gets to live. LMAO
It makes me sad hoe your spouse bullies you. That’s disgraceful.