Crying myself to Sleep and other stress releases

Yesterday I cried myself to sleep. I had a horrible day. Work was insane - literally. We have a recently retired employee who is probably in the the early stages of dementia. He called me yesterday (I am the personnel officer for our department) and I had to explain to him that he is retired and his work email has been deactivated and that he no longer can have access to his work files. It was such a draining conversation. So sad. Anyway there was more drama after that but I won't get into it.

By the time I got home DH and SSons were already there. Ugh, no time to unwind. I told DH I needed a minute to myself but it didn't help. After dinner I asked SS20, something minor, to pull the video game chair away from the sofa so it doesn't get damaged. He cops his typical defensive entitled attitude and refuses to room the chair. Telling me it's fine and I'm wrong. I leave the room. DH finds me and asks what's wrong so I told him,"I want you to tell SS20 to move the f*cking chair away from the sofa. I don't want it ripped or stained by his greasy f*cking hair."

DH did it. But last night, after the day I had at work and being so sick of SS20 and his defensive entitled attitude I was ready to explode. So I cried it out.

This morning DH tells me he's sad that I cried last night and he knows that SS20 is a huge part of it but that he thinks my job is too stressful and that I should look for something else.

Oh really? Can't someone have a bad day? Seriously? What about your 20 year old man child? Maybe you should rip him a new one, give him a real attitude adjustment. Just sayin.

~BettyRay

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I feel much better today. My

I feel much better today. My eyes are a little swollen but that's minor.

~BettyRay

SS is an adult now. You can

SS is an adult now. You can totally tell him exactly how you feel. It's also your house, so you can take that chair and chuck it to the curb if he won't do what he's told. He is a guest in your home, not a resident. If he is a resident, he can either be a tenant and pay rent while also keeping up with the rules, or he can be treated like a child and lose his "toys" when he misbehaves.

If your DH says anything, remind him that he KNOWS his son is part of the problem, but as he won't deal with it, you will as you won't be disrespected by another adult.

Chucking the chair to the

Chucking the chair to the curb came to my mind immediately. Maybe the video game console too.

Yes, this!

I tried to post you should

I tried to post you should dispose of it with fire... But it got censored and told me a moderator would need to approve it prior to that being posted... But if you don't want it there, then it's your house, not his!

Sometimes a good cry is

Sometimes a good cry is really needed... It really just releases a lot of the pressure that's built up...

I'm sorry you had such a rough day I hope things start looking up. Also if you like your job then keep it! And get him to get SS20 in check. he's 20, if he's not helping the household and is coping attitude, time for some tough love.

I do like my job it was just

I do like my job it was just a bad day.

~BettyRay

Ugh... Why do husbands treat

Ugh... Why do husbands treat their wives this way? It's normal to have a crappy day at work. DH can't control that. What he CAN control is his loser child and set a standard for basic respect in his own household.

Crying is a purge. It's not

Crying is a purge. It's not healthy to bottle up our emotions. Do NOT hold it in! We need to cry, beeyotch, belch, fart, or blow up.

BTW, one horrible day at work does not mean you need a new job. You had a bad day. {{{hugs}}}

I have an often high-stress

I have an often high-stress job that I love.
And it makes it all that much more difficult to come home to a messy, loud, disorganized house and have no time to "relax." There are times I simply tell DH that I don't want to talk (because I do it ALL DAY at work sometimes) and I go to the bedroom and read. He doesn't like that b/c he doesn't understand. And if the house is a mess it just adds to my stress - because I'll have to either make sure someone cleans it (i.e. DH) and I hate having to freaking ASK him to do it b/c the SDs (i.e. SD14) doesn't lift a finger.

I don't often cry, but I do retreat into silence.

Your coping mechanism is normal. And don't feel bad.
A 20 yo should be expected to behave appropriately and understand and respect that the house he's living in FOR FREE is a nice thing. And if not, your DH and you should have a very serious conversation.