It's ALWAYS about them !!
So we have a 3 bedroom and DH has a son10 and a daughter5. We have a son1 and a son on the way. I want my boys to share a room while the older two(who isn't with us fulltime) share a room. I don't trust those two Skids...I feel like they're rude and don't listen. They also talk bad about me when they think I can't hear.DH wants our two to share rooms with Skids. I truly don't feel comfortable with that. He's not wanting to budge...until I flip out when they hurt or negatively impact MY babies. I'm sorry to say but I do not love them. They've put me, my mind, and my body through hell. At times I barely like them. Ugh....
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I’m sorry, but it would be
I’m sorry, but it would be inappropriate for the little girl to share a room with a 10 year old boy. Is there another room in the house that can be converted into a bedroom? A den or family room? Otherwise it’s three boys in one room and the girl in the other. You’ll probably be able to keep the baby in your room for a couple of years. And then it’s bunk beds for the older boys.
Most states legally allow
Most states legally allow siblings of opposite genders to share rooms in biological parents homes. Either way they a dealing with limited space. Pretty sure if they had space to convert they would be doing it.
The little girl is going to end up sharing with one of the boys no matter way because otherwise you're cramming 3 boys into one space. It's best she stay in the room with her full biological sibling.
SS10 and SD5 should not share
SS10 and SD5 should not share a room. Ideally, he 3rd bedroom should have a single bed, or a small couch that makes into a bed at night for the 5 year old. SS10 should be provided a comfy couch, a couch that turns into a bed, a cot, or something else - in another room. You can make it fun and doable for them. I would focus on keeping the older children separate.
Worst case the 5 year set-up with a portable bed in your son’s room.
There are bigger issues here if you’re afraid to have a 5 year old girl sleeping in the same room as your bio son.
Baby in your room for the
Baby in your room for the first year. SS and BS in one room. SD gets another room that can be part playroom/office/bedroom.
You're going to need more space, otherwise SS is going to HAVE to share a room with your BSs. He is too old to share a room with his sister.
I understand how you feel,
I understand how you feel, but the SS and SD should not be sharing a room, especially since SS is 10. By all rights if they are not full time, then they honestly don't constitute a room. Make one room for two BS's and second room can have a bed with a chest of drawers for two skids clothes for weekend. Get a pull out for living room.
Skids can alternate on who gets the bed on weekends and go from there. This way neither skid has their own room, but they at least have a location that they can put clothes and such. If you have a extra front room or playroom that can be converted to a temp room while skids are there.
I would have the baby in your
I would have the baby in your room for the first month, after that have the girl and baby share a room and the SS10 and your older boy share a room. Once the girl starts getting to be around 10-11, then move the youngest in with the other boys.
I get that you don't want to your kids to share with them, I have the same problem at my house where my two are sharing with step sisters, but it is what it is.
I don't think any situation
I don't think any situation is ideal. If skids share the same feelings with SM, they'll stop coming as soon as they're old enough to decide.
Kids of the opposite gender
Kids of the opposite gender can't share a room after like age 5 or something like that... Until then it's okay. But after that CPS can be called and it could be a mark against your DH. I get being frustrated, but you're going to have to figure something out that doesn't break any rules either.
It depends on your
It depends on your state.
Many state do not place any laws on biological children. A whole family of 4 could share a studio apartment for all the state cares because they are family and in the states mind the family unit is to be maintained if at all possible and while not optimal sharing a space is a lot better than being removed.
It's when your dealing with foster and adoptive children that laws start saying different genders cant share rooms.
I know for a fact that my state has no laws on children and bedrooms if they are biological. I had many friends growing up who shared rooms with different gendered siblings because that's what had happened. If the state took every child who had to share a room they'd go broke in a day.
If you have money it's great but you do what you have to.
In my mind OP's 1 year old should not be put in with a 10 year old. That is a disaster brewing.
But over all OP and her partner know the children best. They will have to decide what works for their children.
Your 2 boys shares a room,
Your 2 boys shares a room, they are babies and wakes up during the night..... you can not let older kids suffer through this constant crying and waking.
For now there's nothing wrong with SD and SS sharing a room cause they are siblings but can I suggest you and DH start looking for a 4 bedroom?
SS gets a room, SD gets a room and your 2 sons share the biggest room after the master bedroom, cause they are sharing.
When the time comes that your 2 son's do not want to share anymore SS will be 20/21 and then one boy gets that room..
We live in NY so I think
We live in NY so I think they're OK to share a room. I'm concerned for my two kids safety. I don't trust them! Also, the two youngest will be a year apart so it's ideal to have the two children who will be sharing alot of the same stuff to also share a room. They're not here enough and DH needs to understand that! We went from them sleeping in our living room to being blessed with the extra room. We're done moving until we're blessed with owning a house. The oldest don't need their own rooms. Just a place to rest at night that is warm and safe ...PERIOD!
My stepkids shared a room
My stepkids shared a room when DH and I first moved in together. At the time SS was 12 and SD was 8. We had a two bedroom apartment and got bunk beds for them. Sorry, I wasn't going to get a 3 bedroom place for two rooms to sit empty for two weeks at a time. They had a place to sleep that wasn't the floor or my couch, and room for their stuff. They both had their own rooms at their mom's house and they were only with us EOWE. A third bedroom was just not necessary and there's no way I was paying for it. Period.
We got a 3 bedroom place when my DD was born, and my SD bunked with her EOWE. It wasn't ideal and the room my SS used still sat empty for the time they weren't there, but at least it wasn't two rooms being completely wasted.
This is our mind set also.
This is our mind set also. SO's kids are 3 years apart and only eow plus hoildays. We'd rather save for a house then pay for an unneed 3 bedroom apartment.