So's custody trial is done
..and now just waiting until Tuesday to receive the results from the judge. Looking really good that he will end up with the kids primarily. Judge asked the mother if she doesn't get custody, when she would like to see them and her answer was summers. So don't know how much time she is going to get. She is also asking for $1000 in alimony for the next 3-5 years (and the judge brought up how she would be done with her degree in 18 months---almost like he thought she was asking for too much for too long of a period). So not sure if she is going to get anything, and if she does, then how much. SO and lawyer are asking for child support. If he gets child support, that will greatly reduce the amount he will have to pay her in alimony, if awarded.
Anyway, now that a lot of the stress will be gone, and this trial will be done next tuesday, I actually feel lost. For the past year, it was all about providing documents, dealing with her uncertainty, the court dates, stressful not knowing what was going to happen. Now that that is close to being done, I feel lost. Almost like I don't know how to function without it. Our life together has basically been on hold this past year, because we couldn't do anything to progress our relationship... him buying a house, us moving in together, planning for our wedding in 1.5 years, kids. I forgot how it is like to live without all this stress from the court and custody issue. I actually broke down crying earlier because of it. How to deal with this?
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You move forward. Take your
You move forward. Take your life back. Remember your blessings. Maybe find an organization that needs volunteers as an outlet for your spare time.
I already don't have enough
I already don't have enough time to do everything I want to do it a day, so can't really volunteer anywhere. I just need to find a quiet place where I can go to do my work so that I can be more productive with my time. And that should free up some time to be able to go sit in the woods and recharge.
I went back to school. 7 more
I went back to school. 7 more weeks and I am done!
ETA: And just as I am finishing, we filed another custody case. Glad I should be done before it goes to court.
Sucks that you have to go
Sucks that you have to go back to court again, but at least you should be done with school before it happens.
I definitely need to figure out what I want to do with my life. Even before I met my SO, I didn't know what I wanted to do. Then I just got sucked into the drama, helping him out with childcare when necessary, and just completely neglecting myself. I never should have let that happen, but I am done with that and ready to be free to finally find my place in this world and by his side at the same time.
Sometimes the court stuff
Sometimes the court stuff never ends. There are many families that are in court after the child turns of becoming an adult.
So, you let go of the rope and realize YOU MUST live. This is your life, it is the only life you have. You must live your life as abundantly as you can. On your terms and on your time.
Make your house your home, your safe haven for you AND your bio's if you have any.
In my opinion, you CAN let go of all of this. Ask yourself based on the here and now, just the way things have been is THIS the way you want to live YOUR life between now and Dead.
Do NOT day dream about how thing may be or could be. Ask yourself that question based on reality.
GoodLuck.
I know that sometimes the
I know that sometimes the court never ends, but what will be finally done with is their marriage. No longer have to wait until it is done to get married, buy a house, move in together, etc. I wouldn't have moved in while they were still married, and he wasn't going to buy a house for her to try to take half of it.
Now that it is finally over, I don't have to worry as much if I have to watch the kids alone and want to take them out to do something. Before, since there was no custody agreement, I didn't want her to potentially call the cops and say I kidnapped them and then go through the trouble of having that sorted out.
Being with him now is what I really want, as long as we can finally work towards a future together... him buying a house and me moving in, seriously talking about marriage, and kids.
I completely understand this
I completely understand this feeling.
My plan is for SO and I to take a short weekend trip to just relax and in a way regroup.
His lawyer is working with a judge now on one final issue. Once it's figured out that's it. Paperwork submitted, signed, done, divorced.
Given this issue is something that we actually feel we'll be going to court in a few months for contempt which is why we're so instant on it being put in the decree correct so I guess in a way I'm still looking ahead at more court battles.
I'm not sure how you handle it once they are all done and behind you. Is it really truly done until the kids are 18?
I am glad I am not alone with
I am glad I am not alone with this feeling. Unfortunately, we wouldn't be able to take a weekend trip without the kids because he has no family in the area to watch them here. And if for some reason she ends up with custody, he wouldn't have the money. Maybe a day trip somewhere though.
Oh my lord. I feel this
Oh my lord. I feel this hardcore. Putting life on hold for this shit. It's taught me so much. Putting marriage on hold while dealing with custody. Let it out! Take whatever they say with releif. And even if it continues (which it probably will) just let it fall. I'm not saying disengagement just ride it out. Don't work the ride anymore, you put your time in. Jump on it. I don't think it's ever bad to be there as supportive partner in all this crap, but if you feel relief goooo with that feeling and follow it as far as you can. Crossing my fingers for you guys.
We have a CO and yet we know BM is going to try to take back everything she gave up this year due to instability next year. We also have it down now though. Knowing the drama will never end and acceptance of that even pushing it aside to only focus on us and our family (yesssss). And knowing as long as we do everything right were good. Which we do. So *hair flip* it's just a couple useless days in court, which means some good meals downtown by the courthouse after