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Today is SS's birthday...

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Mon, 09/25/2017 - 6:40am

I blogged last week about BM trying to make DH feel guilty about picking up YSS for his birthday today now he wants me to come with him to pick him up. I feel that he should spend time with his son alone however he wants to do this as a family. Well YSS and I really do not have a great relationship as most of you know so I really do not want to go but DH is insisting that I go with him. I don't want to hurt DH's feelings and I really don't think SS would want me there. All DH keeps saying is that your his SM and we are a family I want you to be there. I am thinking about what does SS want. It's his birthday after all. I think maybe DH wants me to go in case BM tries to cause a scene again because she isn't getting her way so that I am a witness however, I don't not want to be involved in that or go anywhere near her house.

Comments

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Mon, 09/25/2017 - 7:34am

Yes he has always been this way and I keep on telling him that I don't want to do certain things when it comes to him spending time with his kids.

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Mon, 09/25/2017 - 8:04am

Yes I think you are right DirtyDiane. This is a set up for failure plus the kid definitely doesn't want me there I don't think.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Mon, 09/25/2017 - 8:37am

tell DH fine you will go, not a problem... then 5 minutes before departure, Oh dear you have a running tummy and can't go any more.....

he does not want to listen if you say NO.. maybe he will catch your drift after the 10th fake tummy issues and stop asking }:)

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Mon, 09/25/2017 - 9:13am

He only has 2 hours with the kid. I think a father/son dinner out would be nice. I don't understand why he doesn't want to see his kid alone.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Mon, 09/25/2017 - 9:53am

I can fully understand why you would choose to not want to do dinner out with the kid who leaps over dining booths. And I can 'get' it from the kid's viewpoint of perhaps not wanting that mean old SM along who just doesn't understand how much fun acting like a little monster in a restaurant is Wink

I'm trying to remember about your DH's shoulder surgery. Is Dad clear to drive all on his own again yet? If so, no need for anyone but Dad and son to do this 6to 8 birthday thing. Dad is a big boy who can handle his own ex wife who may be standing on the front porch tossing a temper tantrum . If the lady throws a big enough fit, the whole neighborhood will be Dad's witness. And I suppose, bottomline is if BM is going to totally trash and ruin her son's birthday dinner with his father by trying to hold the child from going, is it really worth finishing up the job by making a big old fight in front of kid? Just let kid stay home. File contempt and move on. It's the kid's birthday, why two parents would turn it into a f-ing battle of who gets to eat cake with him is beyond me. It's a battle that can be fought in court, not on the front lawn where the kid is waiting to somehow celebrate his birthday without the drama included.

For your original question. No you don't have to go. Yes, you are the kid's SM. Yes, I'm sure DH would like you to join in the celebration. But you are under no obligation. Dining out with this kid isn't enjoyable. You want the kid to enjoy his dinner and celebration with his father which is what the two hour window of allotted time is for via CO. Dad and son. If Dad would instead want to pick up kid, pick up kid's favorite carry-out and bring kid, food and cupcakes home and dine at home, I suppose it wouldn't kill you to be there and participate (totally up to you), but nope, no thanks, you do not wish to go pick kid up take him out to dinner and be exposed to the outing usual unpleasant experience.

Call a GF or your parent and make plans for dinner out with someone you'd enjoy spending a fine meal with relaxation and good conversation with.

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Mon, 09/25/2017 - 10:09am

Yes my DH has been driving for about 2 weeks now and he has been picking up the skids from BM's and driving everywhere else on his own so yeah there is no reason why he cannot go by himself to pick up SS today.