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tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Wed, 09/20/2017 - 9:26am

So after an argument this morning about the skids once again. DH finally admitted that his kids disrespect all adults except for him and that he is fine with that because he doesn't care what other people think. I told him that his kids are going to suffer as well and he just doesn't want to see that. The skids disrespect DH as well so I have no idea why he thinks that they resect him. I am so tired of arguing trying to make DH see my side and it has come to the point where I am contemplating on leaving because of this. Nothing is going to change so I will have to live with this for the next 7 years if I chose to stay in this marriage.

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ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Wed, 09/20/2017 - 9:33am

TBH, I wouldn't just put up with being disrespected. I would tell my DH that he may be fine with his kids disrespecting other adults.. but you are not going to allow YOURSELF to be disrespected. So since he has decided to not correct them.. then he has left you no option but to defend yourself.

So when SS says "You are stupid for XYZ". You say. SS. Go to your room until I say you can come out. You will NOT talk to me in that manner. I am not going to allow that.

If DH says anything.. you whirl around and tell him that if HE wasn't such a lazy, poor excuse for a father then you wouldn't have to deal with it. If he wants this handled differently then HE better step up to the plate because you are gonna take the bull by the horns if he remains in the dugout. And.. yeah... do that right in front of the little turdola. Let him see that his actions are having negative consequences for his dad too.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Wed, 09/20/2017 - 10:18am

A similar discourse between the BM and myself actually resulted in her never contacting me again..lol.

I was trying to help my DH deal with a school issue where YSD was in danger of being held back due to excessive absences. It was the year she started having siezures. Well, BM was too lazy to be bothered with providing proper excuses for the child so they were saying that she was about to be held back...despite being on honor roll.

So... apparently BM gets wind of an email I sent which did kind of explain the reason we were getting involved was because they hadn't gotten excuses from BM.. so since I had SD's medical appt information we would be happy to provide it to excuse the absences.

WEll... she calls me telling my "you have not right.. she is none of your concern blah blah blah.

I unloaded on her. "If you weren't such a bad mother who is too damn lazy to provide this information to the school then I guess DH has to take care of it and he asked me to send that email. So, if you want to actually do something for your kids instead of just using them as pawns... you go right ahead but since I am married to your EX, those kids ARE my business too.... then I got CLICK... lol. never to get another call again!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Wed, 09/20/2017 - 11:03am

OMG, that is totally awesome!! I'd love to verbally smack BioHo with the truth. Then again, she is such a damn narcissist that it probably wouldn't phase her. Maybe telling her that surrounding towns know she's the state bicycle...

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Wed, 09/20/2017 - 9:34am

I don't know if they are or not BM is the CP and doesn't tell DH anything and he is too lazy to take the CO up to the school so that he can be informed and involved with their school stuff.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 09/20/2017 - 10:29am

You know that you have the power to make tjem respect,right?

You have to freak out on them a few times IN FRONT OF YOUR HUSBAND. Of course he will jump in and defend them. When he does, you tear into his ass well IN FRONT OF HIS KIDS.

Once that is done,(it may have to be done a few times) all parties will understand that you will not longer accept their disrespect.

At that point, your husband will have to decide if he wants a wife who will tolerate bullshit from his kids or a doormat.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Wed, 09/20/2017 - 10:44am

To be honest, I think the few times I chewed my DH out when the skids "went too far" they realized that their actions really might have a bad consequence for their dad... not just be funny to push buttons.

Unfortunately, my DH's Ex is a bit of a wacko and her kids have learned from her to be button pushers.. they often use this on Her lol... but they also would occasionally do things to try to get each other in trouble or get a rise out of one of us. When they realized that unlike with their mother.. it wasn't much "fun" to try to press ESMOD's buttons because there usually ended up being a bad consequence and no one was going to be safe from my wrath.

I didn't throw stuff, but I would 100% call them on their BS and call out their dad for not dealing with it. Then I would tell them they could enjoy the rest of the day not enjoying their day. I'm not proud of it, but I am stubborn on stuff and they learned that I wouldn't thaw until someone gave me the heartfelt apology I deserved.... they learned that I was much better at the game than they were.. so they didn't want the fight.