They won't let my kids come
I know that my name says not a mom but its not a mom to my stepkids, I have 2 kids of my own who are 28 and 36. We live in Jacksonville Fl and are evacuating due to hurricane Irma. SOs kids live in Alabama, Ga and Fl. SO's dd invited us to come stay with them during the storm so we are supposed to head out after work today. My dd has 2 small children, 2 yrs old and 6 months. She called SO's dd and asked if she could pick up some supplies to have for her kids when we get there and dd would pay her back. His dd said that they already have too many people coming and the invitation was for dh and me, not my kids and their kids. I called SO and he called his dd and then told me that there isn't room for my kids and that their house isn't set up for babies. Her children are older teenagers and with his other kids and their families coming there is no room for my dd and her kids and my son and his family. This is really great! Where are my kids and grand kids supposed to stay??? I told him to go without me that we will find a place to stay on our own. He has found some hotels near his dds for my kids to stay at but this is unbelievably rude. I'm looking for another place to go to now since his dd excluded my children and grand children.
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If they don't have room..
If they don't have room.. they don't have room. It was presumptuous of you to think that the invitation to you and your DH also included an extension to you adult children and their families.
I don't think it's rude of them to be honest about the hospitality they are willing and able to offer.
I agree with this.
I agree with this.
I know you are concerned for
I know you are concerned for your kids and their families, but your kids are adults.
You really expect your SD to house your adult kids AND their families? It sounds like she has a houseful already.
What is wrong with staying at a hotel? That's what I'd rather do, anyway, since your SD already has so many people staying at her place. That sounds like a nightmare!
I don't think she's being rude.
Amazing that they have enough
Amazing that they have enough room for everyone else but not my kids and their kids. This is a dangerous storm and we need shelter. It won't hurt his daughter to squeeze a few more people in. Dd would have paid sd back!
Two more FAMILIES is not a
Two more FAMILIES is not a few more people.
Do your kids and grandkids live with you? Why would you assume the invitation included them?
define "everyone else" - I
define "everyone else" - I mean, it's not like your children are minors.
why aren't they making plans for themselves??
Is this one of those teaching
Is this one of those teaching things Sue used to talk about??
Lololol
So you took it upon yourself to invite AT LEAST SIX MORE PEOPLE to your SD's house and your DD and you expect baby/ kid things to be supplied.
Right?
I'm just going to walk off muttering to myself and shaking my head.
sure sounds like it, doesn't
sure sounds like it, doesn't it??
Why on earth do people think that invitations extend to those not invited?
OP's kids are adults, for crying out loud...they should be making their own arrangements.
Why would you think the
Why would you think the invitation included your children and grandchildren? What would you and your DH do if his DD hadn't offered to let you stay with her?
I completely understand and sympathize with your fears over the storm.
You have been dating your SO
You have been dating your SO a couple of years, and do not even live together, but expect his daughter to house your entire family?
No, not rude of your SO's DD.
No, not rude of your SO's DD. And your SO took the time to LOOK for places your children and grandchildren to stay, which he did NOT have to do.
I understand that you need shelter, but you were not asking her to squeeze in one more person - you asked for quite a few more.
OMG MY HEAD IS SPINNING I
OMG MY HEAD IS SPINNING
I would pitch a FIT if anyone assumed I wanted more people than I originally asked. THEN ask for supplies to boot. You must be joking.
google fl disaster.gov for shelters info.
I think this is one of those
I think this is one of those teaching things.
Teach you not to trust others
Teach you not to trust others to do right.
No, teach you that extending
No, teach you that extending an invitation is rude. You and your DD are the only rude ones here.
It is kind of a life and
It is kind of a life and death situation. So many people are helping complete strangers out in their time of need.
So it does seem a little cold hearted, if not rude.
Also, it depends on how the hotel was suggested, I guess.
It is kind of a life and
It is kind of a life and death situation.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
No it is not. Not yet anyway.
Correct. Things continue to
Correct. Things continue to change.
People being all dramatic. I
People being all dramatic. I know folks that ride this thing out in St Thomas.
That is why you have to plan
That is why you have to plan ahead, right?
I've never dealt with a hurricane before. I guess you plan for the worse and hope for the best.
that's right, you plan ahead.
that's right, you plan ahead. You don't bide your time and then get irritated when someone else doesn't include your adult children...who should have been making plans of their own, right??
I respectfully disagree. SD
I respectfully disagree. SD is rude because OP's kids didn't plan? There are options that OP included.
These are not children, they
These are not children, they are adults with their own families. Why should they expect someone they don't even know to take them in? WHy weren't these adults taking responsibility for their OWN kids and making their own plans??
And, not, it's not life threatening...
She would have been paid
She would have been paid back. We aren't grifters.
But that's not the point. She
But that's not the point. She invited 2 people; not 8 (or however many extra with your children/grandchildren).
She invited all of SOs kids
She invited all of SOs kids and their families more than 2 or 8 people.
SO's kids and their families
SO's kids and their families are her BLOOD relatives. She asked SO and YOU. She did not, nor did she have to, ask your children and their children. Your children are adults. If they are capable of having and caring for children, they are capable of taking care of their children and themselves. You are blowing this way out of proportion, expecting your SO's daughter to HAVE to accommodate your adult children and their children.
"She invited all of SOs kids
"She invited all of SOs kids and their families more than 2 or 8 people."
Maybe she actually likes her siblings and their families.
It's her house so she gets to decide who is invited.
So she invited her
So she invited her siblings?
She invited her dad and his wife. Her siblings and their kids.
She didn't invite your kids, YOU did...and now you're upset because she's saying she doesn't have room for all the extra people YOU invited...
Sure, the right thing to do would have been to offer shelter as well... but if she doesn't have room for people who are not her family, you can't be upset at her. You can be upset that your kids are now SOL and have to make other arrangements, sure... but it's not your SD's fault. I mean... it's not like your kids are minors... or even young adults that still live with you... THAT would have been rude...
I feel ya, though, it's a scary situation for those who have to GTFO of dodge...
Her house is plenty big
Her house is plenty big enough she just refuses to make her teenagers sleep on the floor so that my kids and grand kids can have their rooms.
Why should she kick her kids
Why should she kick her kids out of their beds just so your children and grandchildren can take them. That's increadily selfish and rude of you to demand.
If you behave this way at all towards her in person things are going to turn less than civil real quick.
But the floor is not being
But the floor is not being offered for OP's adult children and their children. OP's SO found hotels available. So shelter IS available. SD does not have to open her home to strangers when other shelter is available. :?
Considering you've said
Considering you've said you're not a mom to your step kids why should they extend any extra effort to you and your children who I assume they aren't close to in anyway.
Like you said they already have all of "their" family with them. You were invited because they accept you and their dad are a package deal. I don't think they intentionally decided to leave out your kids. They just didn't think of them and when the inn is full it's full.
Your partner is already taking care of finding somewhere for your kids, and their's to stay. Get over yourslef and stop assuming your family is welcome with his when you won't even be a mom to them.
You missed the part where OP
You missed the part where OP expects SD's kids to give up their beds for OP's kids. Why can't OP's ADULT kids make their own arrangements? There are hotels available.
When the inn is full it's
When the inn is full it's full. If I had to bring in people I could fit maybe 6 and that's with people sleeping on the floor.
Just because there's a natural disaster doesn't mean anyone has to open their doors to anybody. We have no clue the history going on with this family.
OP clearly states she isn't a mom to SO's children. I'm going to assume the his children don't see OP's kids as family.
All SO's daughter knows is she's being called to pick up supplies for someone she never extended an offer to stay. She's not required to do so either.
OPs kids are not her family. She is already taking in what we can assume is a significant amount of people already.
Boohoo it sucks but next time ask don't assume. OP has no right to tell the people taking her in that they have to take others and that they have to do anything. With her attitude on here I wouldn't want this woman in my house at all if she's even half Like this in real life.
Don't know if disengaging happened with the step kids but if so it's coming back around. Not step kids family not her problem.
Have you tried calling sd and
Have you tried calling sd and asking her if they can stay? Maybe if you explain that you would feel more comfortable with them there with you she may make an exception.
It sounds like an extremely
It sounds like an extremely stressful time for you and your family OP. I'm glad that you and SO have shelter and hope that your children and grands find a safe comfortable place. I live on the other side of the country where we're shrouded in smoke but if I were closer your kids could come stay w/me.
Be safe!
I'm sorry about your family
I'm sorry about your family having to evacuate. I hope you and your family find a safe place to stay and you come home to undamaged property. I had family who lost everything in Houston. I can't imagine the stress you are under.
Let me try this again. You're
Let me try this again. You're sense of entitlement is showing.
Be grateful you're not
Be grateful you're not running from a hurricane. Show some compassion, she is under a lot of stress and worried about her children in a life and death situation.
Thank you Still Learning.
Thank you Still Learning. Everyone should show compassion. This is a terrible time for many.
Oh please. I live in the gulf
Oh please. I live in the gulf states area also.....I even thought she was acting entitled. How rude to invite your adult children and grandchildren to someone else's house. Not only that but then they all expect the house to be stocked with special order items. I would have had a colorful letter for the entitled OP and her entitled spawn. She was lucky she got an invite to her boyfriends daughters house.
Gee I thought that living in
Gee I thought that living in the gulf states you would have more compassion about this. But I guess not.
I'm sure there is a bit more
I'm sure there is a bit more to the history between the OP, her SO and his children than what has so far been disclosed.
I do find it a tad presumptuous to think OP's entire extended family would be invited , especially without prior discussion. Kind of hypocritical of the OP when one stops to think about it. She was the one just here venting her SO's children planned and invited guest to their father's 65th birthday party without ever discussing a thing with the OP about it (Op and her So are not married and do not officially live together). While, now here is the OP planning on crashing the generosity of the daughter by thinking she would just haul two small children, two adult children and their spouses along with OP on an invitation given to SO and OP. Without discussion. I can't imagine what the daughter thought when she got the request from OP's adult daughter to pre-stock and set up for a baby...a baby she had no idea was planning to come nor has been invited to shelter over.
I guess that might work two ways. Pot meet kettle s the saying goes. I bet SO's daughter's jaw fell open and her mind went WTF? Dad's bringing a mini army.
Shows what you know. I'm from
Shows what you know. I'm from Texas and I have been thru some of the worst ones so far. The thing is, I took people in my home due to the ravages of one of the worst ones we have had so zip it.
She has no right to ask for accommodations for her adult children. Period.
No it's fine to ask but from
No it's fine to ask but from what it seems she didn't ask. She just assumed and extended her invitation to her children.
Even if she did ask she has not right to demand which is what this is.
I'm guessing that the
I'm guessing that the invitation was not crystal clear and there may have been some confusion. 'Dad and family' may have meant one thing to SD and another to OP. Regardless we can all cut OP some slack and wish her and her family safety during this stressful time.
Meh, I wouldn't be going to
Meh, I wouldn't be going to the skids house. So what is your plan B? If nothing else, just get in your vehicles and head out. Anywhere. Pull your credit cards together and make it work. I don't know, perhaps TN. rent a couple hotels rooms, take what you need now and get the rest of the baby needs when you find your 'right' place.
I agree, I would open my home to family. Family of my father would be squeezed in somehow. That's the way I am. But obviously you need plan B and you're running out of time. Why spend this afternoon being angry and upset. That isn't going to help. You can't force your way in with all the people you were planning on bringing. So kick in Plan B and get it done.
Sure, it's going to cost you much more than originally thought, but better safe and alive by pulling together finances than sitting out a dangerous storm.
I'm sorry things didn't work out as you'd hoped they were going to, but nothing you can do about it. Get your cars loaded up and head out. What's money if you can't spend it in your time of need? You're not the only one down there with really no where to go so it's going to be on you to find that place on up the road that is safe. I would not leave my family behind either. Not my family, my aunt or my dog. Stop pouting and do what you have to do.
I wish you well in your wild week coming up. Now suck it up and kick in gear.