I would have been beyond ready to leave given your description of the situation.

I guess it would be important to know what your underlying needs and goals are.

Do you and DH "need" your salary to pay bills?

If the answer is yes, what other options do you have? Are there more options available if you are willing to have a longer commute? The other companies ask for more years of experience...how would someone get those years? Is there any other training or coursework you could do to improve your options there?

As to your current job, what is the risk to "pulling back" on how much you put out or even care? If you work harder gets you more work.. why not work less hard? Or would that result in a job loss? Well then could you get unemployment maybe?

I guess it really depends on what kind of skills you have and what you are interested in doing.

I have known people to dumb down their resume when looking for a lower level position too.

I'm so sorry! Positions like this are awful - mentally and physically.

Living in a big city, it's a bit easier finding positions. But if moving is out, in addition to ESMODs great suggestions above, Is there a possibility of doing work from home for this or another company in your field? My company has a number of people who live elsewhere (i.e. Not near an office) and they work from home.

I'd go to a headhunter or agency and get the word out that you're looking.

I'd also pull back at work. If you are fired because you only work a 40 or 50 hour work week, then collect unemployment while you look for something else.

If something you're asked to do REALLY crosses a legal line, document your instructions and report it to the appropriate agency.

I think you're in a place of fear - like you are frantically trying to tread water while the sharks are circling. The best thing to do is get out of the water, not worry about how how deep the water is or if the sharks are hungry. So shake it off, and move towards better.

What would happen if you asked you boss to review everything on your plate and help prioritize?

Ultimately that work culture is not healthy for you and you have to get out before you do serious damage to your person. Can you take the financial hit of walking away from the job, or would the stress of that be worse than sticking it out where you are?

My best advice is to network like crazy. Make well-placed inquiries about potential employment opportunities with other organizations that interest you. Focus on transferable skills if you are thinking of changing fields. You need a job search strategy so you don't feel like you're going crazy.

One of my long time best friends was in your shoes. He resigned. He was out of work for a very long time. He did consulting work to earn an income. Then decided to be his own boss and started his own business. This business had nothing to do with the job that he had been doing. The first two years were rough on the family financially. They had to down size and cut back but I am happy to say that they are now doing great. I forgot to mention that the deciding factor was that he was found on a jogging trail passed out one day. There was no medical reason that they could find other than the job related stress.

My DD had a job like that. In marketing company. She was actually promoted within few months because she was good and there was a lot of perks and benefits yet she left it, it was way too stressful, kind of what you described. She was miserable.

She took lower paid job to save her sanity. But she was single so she couldn't be without job. Had to get new job first. I wouldn't just quit a job regardless if single or married. Never just quit a job (unless health reasons).

I'd find something quick even if low pay or part time. Those jobs are plenty. Retail for example. With your training bet you can get assistant or supervisor job at a store. Or even simple associate. For now. Then look for better job. If someone asks why you taking lower level job tell them you need to be flexible to be home more with kids/stepkids/sick grandma/dad etc

Honestly, my job is very similar in that if you do the work, they give you more work. They have really, really high expectations and get upset when you want time for yourself IE not answering an email on the weekend turns into a huge blowup where you're put down in front of other staff members, your job is threatened over it, etc. but at the end of the day, you need to set boundaries and if needed, remind them that you are not required by law to work overtime.

There are subtle ways of doing this... Once I got pregnant, I started mentioning it because I knew I didn't want to outright risk pissing off my boss by threatening a lawsuit or something lol. If he got upset about something not being done, I would say something along the lines of "well in my 8 hour shift, I did X and Y but didn't have time for Z, what could I have shifted around to accomplish it?"

When you do this, they won't outright admit they want you to work more hours (unless they're asking for a lawsuit!) so they'll skirt around it. That's when you keep subtly reminding them that you will not be working more than 8 hours and you will accomplish what is reasonable in that time. Trust me, they WILL start to rework your workload. My boss did. They hired an assistant because once pregnant, I made it very clear that working 12 hour days was NOT happening.

Once you set boundaries, it's actually surprisingly easy to ignore blowups and such at work. I used to have SO much anxiety and i'd wake up at night panicked about work-related deadlines and such, but now, I just let it slide. If it doesn't fit in my usual workday and my boss blows up about something being missed, I simply don't care lol I know I'm doing what I've agreed to do and what I'm paid to do, so why should I get upset about it?

A few years back I had a job I hated. Like HATED. it drove me to drink, I'm not even kidding! I was having a drink every night when I got home because I hated it so much, which wasn't like me. It was no way to live. Seriously, life is too short to be that miserable every day. No job, no career and no amount of money is worth your health, your quality of life or your sanity. How long can your really continue on with the toll this job is taking on you? Seriously, it's not worth it. I quit my crappy job and it was hard for us financially for awhile, but now I've been at my current job for almost 5 years and I couldn't be happier.

I have been in your position. I just said "F it" and put my 2 weeks notice in. BS was 2 months old at the time. I was the one with insurance through that job. But I literally didn't care if I had to work at McDonald's... the job and my boss (and owners/upper mgmt.) were so horrible that I had to leave for my own sanity.

They ended up letting me go that day and paid me out for my 2 weeks. The next day I went to a temp agency and got a job that I started a few days later. The temp job turned into a permanent job and then eventually that job led me to the company I am with now and have been with for almost 11 years.

I'm not a risk taker at all. I just knew that I could not keep coming to that job for my own sanity.

Sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith. Maybe a career change (That is what I actually did).

(((HUGS))) and good luck!

I had a position like that. It was awful. I dreaded every single day and came home miserable and cranky and tried my best not to lash out on everyone. I had no choice but to stay because I was a single mom and could be without a job and medical benefits. I looked for new jobs every single day and it was so exhausting because that was the last thing I felt like doing once I got home. It took me about a year to find one, and that was with actively looking online ane networking. Finally, someone I was working with who knew my stress level, told me about a position where his wife worked. He got me the information and just like that it happened! It is a breath of fresh air! I have stresses at work, no doubt, but nothing like before. I work 8 hours and that's it! No one bothers me as long as my work is done, and it is. I actually like going to work (most days!). Hang in there and keep searching and pray! Your health is not worth a job - you can and will find a job, your health is another story! Best of luck!!!

Are you affiliated with SMPS? Great networking opportunities if you have a professional association or club. My firm is hiring & having a hard time finding good business development manager candidates but we were able to network within the industry and schedule some interviews with better candidates... Makes it easier when you're surrounded by professionals in your field.