Bm trying to get inheritance money

When dh's dad died he left a majority of his money to his kids except for dh. Dh's inheritance went to his kids since dh is remarried and I am assuming my fil didn't want me to touch it. Fine. Whatever. Now bm is trying to get her hands on some of the money. She wants to put the kids in an ultra expensive private school and take up expensive hobbies with their money. They came over last night talking about taking flying lessons. Can she get her hands on the money since it's for the kids?

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Depends on what his will

Depends on what his will said. My will is set up with a trust for DD and DS so that they can only get money for school or room/boarding until they are 25. I need to be more specific, though, because they could move into the Trump tower if they wanted and blow through the money in no time. I need to set a $ amount on how much they can get for room and board.

I will assume , considering

I will assume , considering your deceased father-in-law purposely bypassed his son so you could not 'touch' the inheritance, that the old guy also set up his will to control how and when his grandchildren (your skids) can access the inheritance.

If it was not set up with controls , what do you care if they go to private school, take flying lessons and/or sail around the world. It's not your or your Dh's money ...FIL made that very clear, regardless of what else he may or may not have done.

DH can refuse if kids are

DH can refuse if kids are minors..

if the trust is in dh's name,

if the trust is in dh's name, for the kids, BM can't touch it without DH releasing the funds... i think

Do you not have a law like

Do you not have a law like Mars...

Minor children can't inherit anything, it's all in a fund, if no trustee is appointed it works through the court master and kids only get it once they turn 18-21... no parent can touch it, it's inheritance from grand parents, thus not needed for supporting, the bio parents still needs to support.

Once the kids have their hands on it, they can do with it what ever they want

our trust laws are the tough - not paying luxuries, only basic living 9only if it's bio parents not grand parents)
trust only pays out age 18, and you always need 2 trustees to sign, bio father and bio mother, if one refuses the other one is stuffed. (Trustee can be any third party persons and they are usually btches not signing anything)

Maybe he's the only one lol

Maybe he's the only one lol and now BM is pestering him for the cash... with this one we would never know ...

maybe she's thinking we will

maybe she's thinking we will support her to convince Dh to take the money for himself and her...

nothing says I love you more then a 3 week holiday in Aruba

I dunno, I'd stay out of it

I dunno, I'd stay out of it and let her spend their money like there's no tomorrow then when they come of age, she can explain where it went. It bypassed DH, so there's no point worrying about it. Just pop the corn and sit back for the show.

If FIL didn't set up trusts

If FIL didn't set up trusts for the money to funnel into, then it will go through probate ansd the court will take guardianship over the money and any request for payments out of it will need to go through a hearing. At least that's how it is in my state. I had minor clients who's mother suddenly passed and left everything to them and it was a pain in the ass to get disbursements out of it for things the kids needed.