NCP visitation time
Does a NCP have to take their visitation time for the summer, Christmas break etc. per the CO?
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Does a NCP have to take their visitation time for the summer, Christmas break etc. per the CO?
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I think the general consensus
I think the general consensus here has been that "NO" they don't. I guess it could be more specifically ordered as a requirement in some agreements, but generally the CP must make the child available.. but the NCP is not required to exercise their visitation.
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I don't think you can force
I don't think you can force the NCP to come and get the kids. My sister's ex never picks up his kids. The courts don't really seem to care. If the NCP missed or refuses visitation alot, it could play a role if the CP tries to move away with the kids or take away visitation.
Nope
Nope
Visitation is a PRIVILEGE,
Visitation is a PRIVILEGE, not a right. NCP's cannot be forced to take advantage of a PRIVILEGE.
But they may be forced to
But they may be forced to pay more CS if they don't exercise it right? I was under the impression that credit for days taken might be impacted.
It depends. The only person I
It depends. The only person I knew who did not exercise his visitation did not pay a penny more in CS. He just never saw his kids again. Also, his ex couldn't afford to take him to court for more. He always worked craptastic, low-paying jobs. When he was out of work, he paid 25% of 0. Loser.
I think in cases of divorce,
I think in cases of divorce, visitation is considered a *right.* NCP can choose whether or not to exercise that right, just like I can decide whether or not I want to vote. Neither taken away without a court order.
I think this is where a lot of CPs go off the rails. They think they can dictate visitation, but they can't. NCPs--really the children--are entitled to visitation with their other parent.
WHAT visitation is a
WHAT visitation is a Privilege? Really?
Said whom?
Maybe I am not understanding this???
I was just curious DH is
I was just curious DH is taking the skids for his summer visitation regardless because he wants to spend that time with his kids but, he still pays BM CS regardless.
I did ask that on my other
I did ask that on my other blog about CS and vented about but, my question on this post does the NCP have to take their visitation time? I was just saying that he has to pay CS regardless.
Our state allows an
Our state allows an adjustment. It's half of the normal amount if the kids are in his care for 2 or more weeks.
Michigan used to have a
Michigan used to have a parenting time offset for the same reason, but it went away when they went to the income shares model.
Oh, I see your angle. Ok..I
Oh, I see your angle. Ok..I guess in his case if he decided to not take it then the BM could possibly take him to court and have CS adjusted upwards to account for the fact that he isn't taking the kids on "his time".
His CS calculation would most likely assume that each parent has the kid per the CO.. and then an annual amount is derived which is then divided by 12.. into monthly amounts. If he was not exercising the option to take the child, his EX might go back and get new CS calculated with a lower assumed time with him and higher cost to him.
It really doesn't matter
It really doesn't matter because my DH said that he is taking the kids for his visitation regardless of what I say LOL which I didn't say anything about it other than he will still have to pay BM CS when we have the skids for the summer which was a few weeks ago. I was just curious if he had to take his visitation time or not.
Does he see his kids on the
Does he see his kids on the weekend or have other visitation times?
Yes he gets them every
Yes he gets them every Thursday night, and the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend of every month plus spring break, thanksgiving and Christmas break.
If I had a say in it. I
If I had a say in it. I wouldn't don't mind if it would be one week on one week off but, for a whole month is going to drive me bonkers. If we have the same kind of drama that we had last year I will be super stressed. I don't like someone younger than me trying to tell me how to run my household when DH and I can run our household on our own just fine. I guess I really don't want them to come for a whole month because I know that is what is coming. I get that DH wants to spend as much time with his kid as he can and we both work so the babysitter will be there during the day so he will only get nights and weekends with them. But, I do understand where he is coming from and I try to make the best of it.
I would just ask what makes
I would just ask what makes them think they can tell me what to do in the home I pay for... or what makes them think they're the boss of an adult who pays the bills as equal partner to their dad...
This^^^ At mom's house we get
This^^^
At mom's house we get to...
At mom's house we don't have to...
Well, buddy, you are at MY house. When you live on your own and pay your own bills, you can start making the rules mmmmkay? (from the biodad... sm just lets dad deal with it).
When DH got custody, I heard
When DH got custody, I heard that all the time.
My response everysingletime was "look around. this isn't mom's house."
Depending upon the age of the
Depending upon the age of the kid, I might be open to discussing certain things. Probably more along the lines of privileges like bed times etd..
However, I would make it clear that if all they can come up with is "we do it that way at X house".. ummm nope. If you can put together a reasonable and logical argument for something, we can talk.
Like, You tell them bedtime is 9 pm. They counter that with their homework load and chores and bathing etc.. they really think that 9:45 is more reasonable. Perhaps that is considered right?
My nephew is good at putting together a good case for what he wants and he is only 5 lol.
I think I should have a cookie now because number one. I have been very good, number two it is a long time till dinner and number three, they taste good.
The last time we had the kids
The last time we had the kids we were eating dinner. SO told son to sit up and finish his dinner and son told him no.
I have no idea what SO said because at the same time I was telling son "you will not tell your father no".
Son ended up in the corner and for once wasn't happy about it.
Yeah if your DH isn't being the boss of the kids then the issue isn't the kids it's DH.
The kids will try playing the houses against each other but that doesn't matter. They are smart enough to know the difference.
SO's son still throws tantrums at mom's house. I've never seen one at our home.
It's about what the parents allow the children to get away with. Just not seeing the kids isn't the answer. It doesn't change the behavior and strains the relationship more.
If I tried telling my partner he couldn't have the kids over I'd be out a boyfriend quick but I also expect him to make them mind.
Yeah, I used to hear, "But my
Yeah, I used to hear, "But my mom said that I could..."
Well, when your mom pays MY mortgage and utility bills, MAYBE she can have a say what you can and can't do in my home.
No your dh does not have to
No your dh does not have to take his visitation. He can cancel anytime for any reason. But Custodial MUST have the child ready to go.
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Your wrote?
Yes he gets them every Thursday night, and the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend of every month plus spring break, thanksgiving and Christmas break.
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Wow doesn't look like BM spends much NO SCHOOL DAYS with them does she.
Maybe dh can take the kids a few days during the week and let BM have all of her weekends during the summer. I am sure she would also want to see her kids other than while they sleep during the school year.
***and WHO said child support has nothing to do with visitation** it has everything to do with it.
Go into the weeds and really think about how the courts set UP 'visitation"
You don't have to take the
You don't have to take the visitation, but once you turn it down, it's pretty much done. Example, Dad says he is not taking the kids for his six weeks but instead wants to take them a day here, a weekend there and send them back when he tries of them. BM or as you asked, the CP, does not have to agree to that. Having six weeks is having six weeks. It's not having whatever and however Dad wants the six weeks and BM and the kids are on stand by.
If Dad says he is taking them , picks them up and then calls BM three days later to say he's returning them, he might find BM has flown off on vacation and not home. But to what you asked, no, he can deny his month, but then she doesn't have to send them over on a weekend or two or on the one night a week in the regular schedule. She can take the kids and leave town for the month herself with the kids.
Earphones? Try putting on earphones on and listen to whatever music you enjoy when the boys start in with rattle rattle rattle. Tune them out. I'm assuming it works pretty well, my DD17 walks by me with her ipod or cell plugged into her ears and I might as well be talking to the wall. LOL. I'm not sure how much it is she really can't hear me at all or if she is completely ignoring me. Sometimes I think a bit of both. I usually toss a little nerf ball at her if I really wanted something.
Also take nice long bubble bath soaks while reading a long novel. Paint your toe nails, try a new hair style. Whatever you can find to do behind a locked bathroom door should get you some relief from two boys running around the house.
twoviewpoints you know I get
twoviewpoints you know I get what your saying. At least I hope that you do.
Why cant they split it up?
OR switch it up a little./?? Maybe they can work it out before the summer break begins?
Just a thought.
Parents can do what they
Parents can do what they please regardless of the CO as long as they both agree.