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anyone else think this is weird....

Raggles's picture

Eldest sd got engaged just before Easter this year. She announced 3 weeks later to daddy that they are getting married this Monday and she would like him there. This didnt go down well as SO and I are off on a little holiday..been booked since Jan.
Anyway she refused to change date and asked grandma instead to be a witness. Grandma laid it on the line about how upset dad was and she has now changed the date to Thursday so dad can go.

What i cant understand is....
the rush to get married (doesnt appear to be pg)
They are not telling anyone not even bm or her sisters!!
only dad and grandma invited to wedding.
Planning on having a blessing and party 2018 to announce they are married

Comments

z3girl's picture

I agree about legal issues.

I almost married my ex-boyfriend for that reason. I loved him, and wanted to marry him anyway, but he also lost his legal status in our country, so that was a big part of it. We discussed it impulsively and within 2 weeks had our license and date in the mayor's office. We only told my parents and one friend to act as witness. He backed out the day of (he was actually involved in organized crime, no joke!) and said it wasn't fair to entangle me in that lifestyle. Broke my heart, but I'm VERY happy now.

Maxwell09's picture

Meh it could be anything or absolutely nothing. Me and DH woke up one June morning and decided to go get married. We weren't expecting, and we figured our anniversary was coming up and we could keep it all on the same day (less to remember) so I called my mom up and asked her to come witness, and my dad but he had work. DH called his brother and SIL and told his mom about it. We went on a Wednesday afternoon then hit the Chinese buffet Wink I don't like being in weddings, I never grew up dreaming of princess ball gowns and fairytale weddings; but most importantly I hate the thought of spending so much money on a day that I, a controlling perfectionist on major occasions, would be so stressed out. I opted to get my really really expensive dream ring instead so it all worked out. To each their own.

hereiam's picture

we figured our anniversary was coming up and we could keep it all on the same day

That's exactly what we did!

We did it in our living room, with DH's sister and my sister as witnesses, and the minister. Done.

Livingoutloud's picture

We got engaged and married quickly just because we wanted. We told people but we eloped, we didn't want anyone there. People marry the way they want to. There are no rules

Raggles's picture

I have no issue with a quick wedding, or eloping. It is their decision/life.
I just find it strange that is it all 'cloak and dagger'
Get married quietly is perfectly accepatable but why the secrecy afterwards of not telling anyone. What the point of that?

Anyway does us a favour - No big wedding to pay for, no awkwardness with BM, no argument between SO & I because i wouldnt want to go!

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

My DH and I wanted a private ceremony so we went to the local courthouse and got legally married. It was a small and intimate ceremony for just the two of us. It is one of my favorite memories of us. Later, we had a big party to celebrate with our families.

We weren't pregnant or having any legal issues. We just wanted to have this one private moment for ourselves. Weddings are overwhelming, stressful and expensive. I think there are many people who would like to opt out of it.

SM12's picture

My DH and I were already living together and planning on getting married eventually but weren't formally engaged. We were sitting at our home with friends one evening and they asked when we were going to tie the knot. We just looked at each other and decided we would get married four weeks from that day. The only reason we waited that long was so our family would have time to plan to be there since we lived out of town. I bought a $50 dress online and we had the wedding at our house. We actually had about 100 people there but it was very informal and ended up being a big cookout bonfire type event. It costs us very little and we had a great day.

hereiam's picture

Weddings are overwhelming, stressful and expensive. I think there are many people who would like to opt out of it.

Amen.

ESMOD's picture

My younger brother proposed to his wife in the spring.... all set for an October wedding. Venue booked, deposits paid and .....OOOPS. All of a sudden it had to be moved up to the early summer because.. you guessed it... she turned up pg.

She was in her 30's and my brother was well into his 40's and I guess she just didn't figure that it would happen as quickly as it did..or they slacked on the BC since they were getting married anyway.

It was her first marriage, so she still wanted the white dress, chapel, reception etc...

secret's picture

My first go round was funded by my mother and mother in law. I had just over 300 guests, it was the whole white church wedding thing.... I was young... didn't really care... only married him because he was the father of 2 of my kids. I was 5 months pregnant with our 3rd at the time.

We're talking now about a fall wedding... something small...casual... like a tailgate party/bbq cookout in our yard... neither of us are interested in the big wedding stuff.

People can show up or not, their choice. We're doing it for us, not them.

Raggles's picture

Well sd got married yesterday....

borrowed wedding rings for the ceremony...
Kicked up fuss when SO arranged to have informal wedding photos taken...

The reason - "oh this isnt our/a proper wedding, we are going to have that next year when everyone is invited!'