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Could you date

Sweet T's picture

a person who had them and their dead spouse as their cover photo on facebook?

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WalkOnBy's picture

Hmmmmmm - my initial thought would be that this person is not done grieving and isn't quite ready to move on.

WalkOnBy's picture

Did I ever tell you that my asshole abusive ex-boyfriend was a widower?

Talk about tough Sad

ESMOD's picture

If this is a FB account that they are actively using, no. It's a sign that they are still not ready to date. If they don't use facebook, but just have an old acct out there.. I might not be as concerned.

The only exception might be if the picture is of some huge personal milestone.. like they were in a group of people that climbed mount everest..lol.

I would be less concerned if they had pictures up in their family home as that would also be their children's home. However, I would expect that the pictures in the family home might migrate more to just the kid's areas if I were to become a serious SO or spouse.

twoviewpoints's picture

My SS not only dated, but married a lady who had her and ex husband's wedding photos still plastered throughout ... yeah, didn't work out for SS, he's divorced from her now.

To your question, would I date a guy with a deceased wife couple photo as cover photo? No, but I might casually have coffee with him to hear his story.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Nicely said, anotherstep!

My Dad has a FB account but is not very FB savvy. His photo was of him and Mom and remained so for at least a year after she passed away. I helped him change the photo to one of just him. After he and my new SM moved in together (living in sin!! lol), he changed the photo to the 2 of them.

Both Dad and SM were widowed. Both still have up pics of Mom and her husband. They were all friends for decades. They had long-lasting, good marriages. I see no weirdness in it.

I would have coffee with him and see what's going on. I once met a guy for coffee only to find out his wife had passed away less than 2 WEEKS before. He said it was a long illness, but I was NOT comfortable with it.

robin333's picture

I agree with Aniki. This is a great perspective.

ETA: my Facebook still shows me as widowed. It's not something I edit or update ever.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Um, robin, does that bode well for your current DH? We're not gonna get phone calls at 2am saying "He's too big to fit in the wood chipper. Come help me bury him!", are we? Wink

Aniki-Moderator's picture

~smooch~

Sweet T's picture

So the person is probably in their late 60's and is a man. I don't think my husband would want me dating him lol. It is someone I know father. It just struck me as odd and wondered what others thought.

Old sm's picture

I'd probably date for a short period of time and if things were getting serious and the picture remained up, then I'd start to question the future of the relationship