Steplife is really bringing me down this week
We spoke to a lawyer on Friday and I got a rude awakening. I was hoping we could change a few items just to make things more equal and lower the CS since we have SS full time now.
Well, since BM hasn't made enough to file taxes the last several years, it looks like we could end up paying her close to the same amount for one child and she still helps us with nothing. We know she is making more than she is claiming. She works as a bartender and is always telling us and the kids she is working doubles for this reason and that reason. She is claiming less than min wage and less than when her and DH first got divorced and she was working part time.
Yes, we can fight her in court but this will cost us more money that we even have.
So, for now, we have requested CS to be split in half and DH to have custody of SS. Right now, BM could get more than half but she won't know that unless she hires a lawyer. But honestly why should she. She's still getting more money that she should and she doesn’t have to shell out money to a lawyer.
It's really upsetting. BM decides on a random Thursday afternoon she doesn’t want SS anymore and it's costing us several thousand dollars to just get SS legally and CS lowered. None of the other items are even going to be addressed.
Now, if BM doesn't sign the agreement that the lawyer is sending her, then we will have to go to court and that will cost us more money. I have no idea where we will even get it at this point.
I really hate family law at this moment. Why are we having to drain what little bit we have left in saving because BM decided to dump one of her children?
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Comments
would it help if you get a PI
would it help if you get a PI to follow BM and proof she gets money under the table?
Could SS simply testify that BM works allot as bar tender and flashes money?
If she doesn't sign the
If she doesn't sign the agreement and forces us to go to court, we will probably have to at least get the bar she works at to send us info about profits and determine how mush she is making from there. But that is going to cost us at a lot. May not even be worth it.
At this point, I'm all for sending SS back and just going back to the way things were.
hold on, SS is doing better
hold on, SS is doing better with you and DH Hon....
maybe you and DH should think long term...like college long term, if he keeps on paying double to BM... maybe he can get the CO changed to only till skid is 18 and nothing more, no college, no car, no insurance
What if SS starts demanding BM buys him things..... then at least he gets some of the CS back even if he stays with you.... I'm just feeling this kid is doing so much better under you roof then his sister, but maybe it would be best.
LOL, BM has never bought them
LOL, BM has never bought them so much as a sock and she gets $825 a month. She isn't going to buy SS anything.
((hugs)) this time will pass,
((hugs)) this time will pass, it's just horrid right now.
Thanks, I hope
Thanks, I hope
Why do you even have to hire
Why do you even have to hire a lawyer if she just dumped him? She should be willing to sign any agreement you come up with if she no longer wants to take care of her son. Or is she an I want everything for nothing kind of BM?
At first she freaked when DH
At first she freaked when DH mentioned changing custody and CS. I had an appt with the lawyer and DH made me cancel it. Then a few months later, she said DH could sent her the paperwork and she would sign it. Now, she is getting divorced. Meaning losing stepdads income. I'm guessing she's not going to be happy about losing CS money.
We had to hire a lawyer because the judge won't accept the modification unless you go through a lawyer. We would have to go in front of the judge alone and take our changes. DH gets even more screwed when he shows up without an lawyer.
Well I hope it works out for
Well I hope it works out for you. Court, lawyers & the unknown are really stressful.
According to the lawyer a
According to the lawyer a judge won't accept the CS modification without a lawyer involved. I did read that if both parties agree that custody could be modified without going to court but I don't know about CS. And this lawyer has been around for awhile, so he may just know how the judges work around this area.
If BM agrees to sign the
If BM agrees to sign the paperwork the lawyer is going to send her, that we don't have to go to court. It's costing us around $2k. If she doesn't agree to sign the paperwork and won't work on a compromise than we will have to go to court. The lawyer also mentioned that it's a law now that we would have to try mediation before court (I forgot that part until just now).
Maybe I'm not explaining it well.
Worked for my DH's EX. We
Worked for my DH's EX. We had YSD for a while and she only allowed it "as long as we paid her full CS". Both her daughters lived with their grandparents their junior/senior year. Again, allowed as long as she got her CS. She was paying their cell bills, but that was it.
That's what I thought, but
That's what I thought, but nope.
Lawyer said most cases he sees where it's 50/50 custody the father still pays.
wow. why is she even getting
wow. why is she even getting any child support if dh has ss full time? that's f*cked up.
She still has SD13
She still has SD13
In Florida they know people
In Florida they know people lie about their income so they assign the average salary of a bar tender for that zip code. My friend's ex is a master electrician who works under the table and they knew he was lying and he got assigned child support based on what he should be making
I asked the lawyer about
I asked the lawyer about that. He said they court would just calculate her as minimum wage. We know she is making more than that.
Whats the current situation
Whats the current situation now? Same situation happened to be occurred with my brother-in-law. The cas is still going on in the court. Only positive was that his lawyer(http://36avocats.com/annuaire/bechara-tarabay) has supported him mentally. This gave us a ray of hope, that he may get the custody of his daughter. Lets hope for the best!