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Just don't know what to do anymore.

Squirrelgirlninja's picture

Submitted by Squirrelgirlninja on Sun, 04/16/2017 - 1:47pm

I don't know what to any longer. The SD hygiene is horrible. She is constantly picking her nose, popping pimples and scabs. The part that I find totally disgusting is she eats whatever she plucked from her nose, pimples and or scabs. The girl is now 14 years old. I just don't get why I am the only person who finds this disturbing. Not to mention extremely nauseating to me. It's gotten to the point I can no longer sit at the table and eat a meal with her. I don't like this tense person I am when ever she is around. I usually end up feeling it's my fault. It's effecting my relationship with her and her father. Not to mention the adult siblings just think I'm horrible to her.

Comments

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Sun, 04/16/2017 - 3:11pm

Although gross, and maybe unbelievable to some, this is an anxiety disorder and considered an OCD. It is similar to trichotillomania (hair pulling) and can be considered a form of psychosis. Look into dermatillomania or excoriation. It's probably not something she can control, without therapy and self awareness.

I have a mild form of trichotillomania. I twirl my hair and have been doing it since I can remember. I literally sit on my hands to keep from twirling my hair (I do not pull my hair out or eat it, as people do with true trichotillomania).

I'm guessing that the people in her life are used to it and do not want to embarrass her or they feel that it's harmless, but the fact is, she probably needs some help. I would be surprised if she doesn't have some other mental issues, as well.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

Submitted by not2sureimsanea... on Sun, 04/16/2017 - 5:33pm

Used to chew my nails and hair and eat them--anxiety related usually. Grew out of it after puberty. Peer pressure helped a lot.

SourGrapes's picture

Submitted by SourGrapes on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 9:28am

I think calling it a mental disorder is a bit of a stretch, but it's very true that this type of behavior is in the same family as fingernail biting, which people generally aren't offended by. It's a compulsion, and she probably doesn't even realize that she's doing it. For whatever reason, these behaviors help relieve her anxiety. Clearly, they are not socially acceptable behaviors and I do think it's reasonable to not want to share a meal with a person that is picking their nose at the table. She may not ever stop the behaviors, but she needs to learn that she can't do them in public.

BM and your DH don't think it's a problem?