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OT: Would you consider/enter a plural marriage?

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 8:47am

Just read an article about a new reality show Rockland Ranch....

plural marriages, now I'm wondering... would you enter such a marriage? Sharing your husband with another wife, having 4-8 children, sounds like fun, I will go back to work and the other wives can rise the brats }:) but then again one kid is more then enough for me, imagine giving birth to that many children...... :?

Don't think I will be able to do it, to know your husband sleeps with other woman and have sex with other woman

nope just hell no - what's wrong with these people and why can't woman have more then one husband, not that I would be open for...

6 husbands,

1. to cook (a chef)
2. cleaning the house
3. laundry husband
4. lawyer husband
5. doctor husband
6. sex husband

and on day 7 I will be alone

Comments

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 9:27am

The husband from the first pic in the article sure is goofy looking. He's got the look of generations of inbreeding gone wrong, Warren Jeffs and Howdy Doody's love child. Good thing he has two pretty wives so theres a chance of some of his kids being attractive. Oh no but some of the kids look exactly like him!!!

These women's reasoning that they would rather have a *piece* of a good man than none at all is just ridiculous. They need to look beyond their community because yeah there's slim pickins in polygamous communities.

I actually hate these articles that normalize this life style. There's so much abuse in these communities, to women, children and especially the young men. Why do you think there are so many women available for chattel, where are all the young men? They throw the boys out when they are teens to lessen the competition for the *worthy* geezers.

There's such a dark side to these communities in order to perpetuate this lifestyle.

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 11:41am

"I don't know-sometimes the thought of another woman here to do the dirty work of cleaning/errands/stay at home/watch the pets sounds GREAT lol"

The problem is she's also looking for someone to do the dirty work, lol.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 9:05am

but you will not be a single mum.... that's the whole point, there will always be another mum helping out, caring for your children and well your husband still sleeps with you and provides for you

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 9:03am

If he's got energy for another woman, that means I'm missing out. So, no, I don't share.

AJanie's picture

Submitted by AJanie on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 9:06am

DH is sexy and watching him with another woman would probably be a turn on - so long as she wasn't prettier than me. or funnier. or smarter. or younger. or better in bed. or better off financially.

Basically, she would need to be a blow up doll.

In conclusion, a plural marriage is probably not something I would be able to handle. LOL.

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 9:11am

If it came up we would discuss it and consider how to make it work for us. We are not against sex outside of our marriage and both accept that people can love more than one person at a time but we would want to approach any situation with care and consideration for everybody involved so that we can try to make sure it is a positive an experience for everyone. We are not seeking anyone outside of our marriage now but if the right person came along in our lives we would try to make it work.

Of course I would love someone else to do the house work or someone to do diy or to bring in more money but that isn't really fair on the other person, they deserve a full position and full role in our lives rather than just being a maid/handyperson/paycheck. Anyone that we might date deserves to be considered as a whole not only as what they can offer me/us but what we can offer them too.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 9:54am

that's what tickles me.....

one husband and 3 wives... while husband is keeping W1 happy - who says wife 2+3 is not keeping each other happy...
and there's man in the house to bring in the money also a man who's sperm is giving them babies... all they have to do is sleep with the man every third night???

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 12:08pm

I would occasionally watch that one too. He had to divorce the first wife and marry the 4th wife so that he could legally adopt her kids.

I always felt that the first 3 wives were jealous of the the 4th one because she was younger, thinner and prettier but she brought nothing to the family other than more kids.

When they moved to Nevada and each got their own house that's when the pettiness came out. It was, I have more kids so I need more space and I make more money so I can afford to upgrade to granite counter tops.

uofarkchick's picture

Submitted by uofarkchick on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 10:20am

I'm LDS and even though we don't practice polygamy, we do have spiritual polygamy. One of our Apostles was married and sealed to his first wife and after she passed, he was married and sealed to another woman. Men can be sealed to multiple women but women can't be sealed to multiple men.

Just a bit of Mormon trivia for ya...

uofarkchick's picture

Submitted by uofarkchick on Fri, 03/24/2017 - 8:36am

It'd take a long time to explain but basically, men and women have separate roles but those roles are symbiotic and wouldn't work without the other. As for freedom and rights... It's not a cult and no one is enslaved. It's just not that dramatic.

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Fri, 03/24/2017 - 10:56am

It's not just Mormonism, it's all religions.

In fact most organized religions are a way to control the masses. The church control the men, the men control the women and the women control the children. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Most people are the religion they are because they were born into it.

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 11:15am

what does sealed mean? And, if the first wife passed away, wouldn't it just be like a second marriage?

Forgive my ignorance about LDS...

still learning's picture

Submitted by still learning on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 4:58pm

Sealed means married in the temple or Eternal Marriage. Yes it's like a second marriage. If a woman's husband dies who she had been sealed to then she can be married in the temple to the next husband but for *time only.* Meaning that when she dies she'll belong to her first husband, the one she was sealed to.

Basically men get to be sealed to as many women as they want, women only get one.

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 12:18pm

I thought they could get it unsealed by the church and be with the new wife in the next life?

I have a friend who is Mormon and he is desperately looking for a new wife because he doesn't want to be stuck with his 1st wife in the next level.

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 3:46pm

Yikes - so a man can remarry and be "rewarded" but what about a woman? Are women not able to be "sealed" to their second spouses??

Why would any Mormon woman become a second wife, knowing that they wouldn't be spending eternity (or whatever language used by Mormons) together?

uofarkchick's picture

Submitted by uofarkchick on Fri, 03/24/2017 - 8:40am

You can have your first sealing cancelled, even after a spouse dies, and be resealed to your second spouse if you so choose. You just need to have a good reason for the sealing cancellation. We believe that families are eternal and that certain religious rites can be performed on Earth for those that have passed on.

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 12:15pm

My understanding of LDS and polygamy is that you must be sealed in order to get to the next level in the afterlife. Back when Smith created the religion there were more men than women, so one man married multiple women in order to get them to the next level.
They even do marriage by proxy of their ancestors so that they'll all be together in the next life.

The other thing was that women weren't allowed by law to own anything. The were basically the property of their fathers and then their husbands. If their husband died and they had no male children any land they owned went to the nearest male next of kin.

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 12:28pm

Hahahaha, I saw a mene that said we should use level instead of years for our age. So instead of "I'm 50 years old" it would be "I'm at level 50"

From a site about various religious beliefs.
"The Celestial Kingdom itself is divided into three parts. Mormon scripture says nothing about the lower two levels, but specifies that only those persons who are married for time and eternity in Mormon temples are eligible for the highest Celestial tier. The next level is the Terrestrial Kingdom, a place inhabited by men and women who lived honorable lives and who accepted the atonement of Christ, but who were not valiant in their testimonies of Christ."

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 1:35pm

While I think it would be wonderful to have someone to share chores with, to help with child rearing and other things, no way I could share my husband.
After my marriage fell apart I live with a friend and her family. It was really wonderful. We shared cooking, cleaning, took care of each other's kids. There was no animosity at all, we both parent the same and had no issues but her hubby was just hers! LOL
It was great but not something either of us could have done long term. It worked because we all knew it was only until I could get back on my feet.
What I miss most is Sunday mornings. Her hubby would make breakfast for kids, then take them to church (mine too if they were with me that weekend). She and I would sleep in then meet in the kitchen for leftover pancakes, coffee and our weekly chat.

I think you have a bond within a sexual/marital relationship where you feel free to discuss things and try things that you don't want anyone else to know about.
To know that your husband is sharing/feeling that with someone else is not something I could deal with.

In fact, I think that's the problem lots of BMs have! They are so angry that the man they shared themselves so intimately with, not just sex but the sharing of hopes and dreams, concerns about kids, family, all those things that married couples share, is now sharing that with someone else! And OMG what if he is telling this new woman all her secrets!!

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Thu, 03/23/2017 - 5:08pm

In theory, yes. In reality, well not so much.

That is again what so many SMs run up against. Dad doesn't parent, or dust or cook and he looks to the woman in his life to do it.
I'm not saying all men are like this but the fact is there are way more women who just automatically take care of the house and family than men.

notsobad's picture

Submitted by notsobad on Fri, 03/24/2017 - 11:05am

Me too. I'm friends with my exH and we now have a peaceful even friendly relationship. I like his GF but I'm very happy she's the one he's confiding to.

BM has lots of narcissistic traits and thinking that she and DH have an unbreakable unique bond because they have kids together is one of them.