Disney Dad at his finest
A little back story to this one.
A few months ago when we moved, our cat got out and ran away. He was always an indoor/outdoor cat at our old house, so I hoped he would come back. I searched the local shelters and searched "missing cats" online in our area. I finally located him two months later, but the place that rescued him only keeps cats for one week. He had already been adopted out. It broke my heart. I really loved him.
So, DH and I decided to rescue another cat. I have specific things I was looking for because we have three small dogs as well. I found a lady that had to move into a new place and couldn't take her cat with her. This cat is relatively young and has been around her large dog all its life. So I text back and forth with this lady for several days and decided on a pickup day. SS and I go and get the cat. Everything is great.
Because SD is only with us every other weekend, we put the cat in her room to get used be somewhere different before introducing her to our dogs. When DH picked SD up from school on Friday, the first thing I told SD when she came into the house was to be careful because we got a new cat and it was in her room.
DH freaked out. Going on and on about how I ruined his surprise?? I asked him how can he surprise SD with MY cat. He started talking about how he had been waiting all week to surprise her. All week?? You mean all week when I coordinated with the previous owner by myself to get the cat. How about when you stayed home while I drove to go get it. This isn't your surprise. You can't surprise someone with something that isn't for them. Also, If he wanted to surprise her, how about telling me. I can't read your mind.
He started back pedaling then. Crazy Disney dad surprising SD with something that isn't even for her.
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I pisses me off when I go out
I pisses me off when I go out of my way to make something nice or buy something that my DH really wants and then he gives it to SS or shares it with him. I don't say anything because parents share with their kids and I'll just look like an evil stepmom. I would like to do something special for DH without it turning into something special for skids. They get plenty. Like I can't surprise my DH with sushi ever because SS also likes sushi and DH will just give it to him.
yes, yes, yes, i totally
yes, yes, yes, i totally agree!!! it grinds me gears every time i get dh something, he has to give it to or share with kaos, and usually kaos ends up keeping said gift. this past Christmas, i got dh cologne (again, cuz the last four have been given to..... kaos!)
i told dh shortly after he opened it that i find the scent an incredible turn on - i'd hate to get all worked up and wet only to turn around and see his child. i do believe THAT finally registered to him, and it's been safe in our bathroom ever since!!!! }:) }:) }:)
everything i buy as a treat for myself, kaos takes over. it irritates me cuz it feels like he's pissing on his territory, even tho' my head says 'no he's just excited at something new.' i've taken to hiding any purchases in the basement cuz i dont want them messed with before i have a chance to even take them out of the box and try them out myself. i flipped my lid when i was all excited about having gotten a new vacuum and got home and kaos was already using it (he'd broke two prior vacuums, so i felt like "this kid's gonna break something i was excited about, before i've even gotten a chance to touch the d@mn thing!") thankfully dh has lit into him several times about "DO NOT TOUCH $#!T THAT IS NOT YOURS!!!" and that problem seems to have eased up significantly.
i understand parents sharing, but there has *got* to be a reasonableness about it.
*ahem* my sharing
*ahem* my sharing capabilities as a parent are non functioning if I have condense milk. I don't share that with anyone. Not even my speshul little snowflakes.
Seriously ladies, sharing everything with your children is taking it just a tiny bit too far IMO. I love my girls but somethings are between adults and only adults.
"I guess I'm just a
"I guess I'm just a materialistic, selfish jerk, right?"
yes you are }:) but so am I, sorry but you will not hand your brats my stuff, I paid for it, I take care of it, they destroy and have no respect for anything. WE go through this monthly...
I blew my top the other day, SO buys chocolates for the house, I hate the ones he get so I bought myself one I like, Aergia simply took mine, I exploded and told her leave my shit alone, I'm not your bloody mother, now walk to the shop and buy me another one, you had no right taking what's mine... SO thought I was being petty... I gave a shyt.
The cat we lost we initially
The cat we lost we initially brought into the house to be SD's. She had a new name for the darn thing every week. Finally I had enough and just started calling him by the name I wanted. The name stuck. He became mine when I had enough of DH and BM's shit and moved out. DH told me to take the cat so I wouldn't be lonely and SD never spent anytime with him anyway. Man, I miss him.
Yeah, I've had this same
Yeah, I've had this same situation sort of. I have two dogs, one since birth and the other was adopted two years ago. Both dogs were paid for by me, my name is the only one on their records, all vet bills are paid for my me, all food, etc. And when they do something wrong, of course it's "YOUR dogs did xyz."
I cannot tell you how many times I have heard SD14 bragging to her friends or relatives how cute her dogs are, how much fun they are, how when she walks them they do xyz. All I can do is laugh, because she does NOTHING with or for the dogs EVER. She has never fed them, walked them, played with them, or done anything other than tell them to stop barking in the 5+ years she's been around.
It annoys me immensely - she annoys me immensely.
The first dog we got together
The first dog we got together as a family, SD was the "mommy" and SS was the "daddy. The next two dogs were purchased by me solely. They are my dogs. SD will still try to say she is mommy #2. I just laugh at her. SS and SD are the same way as your skids. They do zero with the dogs. I pay for everything and make sure all vet appts are on time and grooming is done. DH also says "Your dogs did..." or even tries to compare the dogs to his kids. I think that's funny. I always say "When the dogs learn to speak English, we can compare them"
The "mommy" thing used to bother me a lot. I think it was more indicative of a greater problem with DH. He puts the kids on our level all the time. There was little hierarchy in the home. Things have gotten better, but he still tells me he doesn't want to discipline them because "they might not like me". I'm almost always the bad guy because I don't give a shit if they like me or not.
Ack, this all rings so true.
Ack, this all rings so true. I deal with the hierarchy crap too, SO likes to think SD14 is an adult and should have equal say. NOT HAPPENING. BS22 is not an equal, he is my son. Why in the world would SD14 be any different? Oh that's right, he's the guilty Disney dad :sick:
He too rarely says no to her. It's nauseating to me.
When SD first came around 7 years ago, she didn't want anything to do with my dog. HER dog was the pup her mom had, and she never shut up about it. Now that she's here FT, apparently all that's mine is hers :sick:
Ha, this reminds me of when
Ha, this reminds me of when my SD wanted to buy me a kitten for my birthday. Her mom's bf's cat had a litter of kittens and she wanted one so badly. It was close to my birthday and my beloved cat had passed away about 6 months earlier. SO told her she had to ask me if I was okay with having another cat before she bought it for me. She asked and I was finally ready to let in another kitten to love and told her that was fine. I also told her and my son that even though it was a gift for me that they would be responsible for feeding it and changing the litter and they agreed to those terms. Even made little thank you cards saying they would take care of all that (which I use frequently to remind them now that it has lost its lust). Well of course since she bought the cat she wanted to hold it the entire first weekend we had it and tried to justify not letting my son hold it b/c she paid for it. She drove me absolutely insane following it around everywhere and trying to hold it constantly and SO also justifying it b/c we only got her EOW! Ugh! I seriously regretted letting her "buy" the kitten for me. After the first day of this crap I told her that she couldn't keep using the excuse that she bought it to hog it all weekend b/c she bought it as a gift for ME! That therefore it was MY cat and to leave it alone and give it space! I really don't care if she was upset or not. The poor kitten needed a break. I also think it is funny that the money that she bought it with was her "chore" money from her mom. Essentially BM bought me a kitten
Plus I know SD doesn't do any chores. I asked her what chores she did to save the money and she said she used to do a few but quit b/c she didn't like to!
This is why I have my
This is why I have my favorite candy hidden in my room. DH will just hand it out to the kids. Even though I buy them treats, they have to have mine too.
Ugh I absolutely hate when DH
Ugh I absolutely hate when DH shares things that are OURS with SD. I've pretty much put a stop to that. I especially hate him sharing MY things with SD. One time last year, he couldn't find her hat anywhere while getting her ready for school so he gave her one of my white knitted berets to wear... He told me when I got up in the morning. He said something like "SD looks SO cute in your hat, that white beret one!!" and I got SO PISSED.
He was like "what's the big deal? you're acting like your sisters or something?" I pretended that I was upset because she was 4 at the time and kids have head lice/lose things and stuff like that but in reality I have no idea why I hated it so much. It's like... I already share my house, my space, my food, everything with her, there's no way i'm sharing things that I go out of my way to pick out and pay for so I can look nice.
Fortunately now he's improved A LOT to the point where he understands that we're not biologically related and there will always be weird things like that that simply aren't the same as if she were my bio child. I'm sure if my own daughter (i don't have kids yet) wore something of mine, I'd be annoyed but not downright infuriated and pissed off lol.
I had a hat thing too.
I had a hat thing too. Several years ago SD had hat day at school. I had already left for work and DH was texting me because he wanted to give SD my "Keys" hat. A floppy hat I bought while we were on vacation in the Keys. Fuck no. That thing is special to me. It doesn't fit SD AND she was going to her moms house after school. BM's house is a black hole. Nothing that goes in ever comes out. Huge fight ensued because I "hate his kids" and don't want them to feel included during special events in school. God forbid he stop at Wal Mart and get her a hat that would fit her head or she goes without because she waited until the last minute to say anything.
Thankfully SD is at the point where she doesn't fit into my stuff anymore. She's taller than me and her feet are bigger (many fights about allowing SD to wear my shoes)