Uh, wow okay I'm going to go get an egg timer--that actually makes a lot of sense. We do activities where it's just the three of us or one on one (I did at least get that far on Googling what to do when the second comes along) but I don't know if it's not enough or something.

I feel like we already do but it's like it's not enough? She has a mommy daughter day on Sundays with me where DH takes care of the baby and I have DD1 and we go to the store and shop (she loves shopping) and then she has Saturdays with DH where she goes with him and learns martial arts and model airplanes.

She usually helps me prepare all the meals and stuff, and DH and I take turns reading a book to her before bed. It's just a bit exhausting that all of a sudden she wants attention when before she had very little interest in it (she always wanted to do her own thing)--we're including her more now than we ever have when she was younger.

I'm hoping this phase will wear out soon or I'm going to go bonkers. I love my kids but sometimes I just want to go hide in the bathroom.

The weird thing is she's okay with us holding DD2, actually has very little issue with it and maybe only had one time where she wanted to be picked up when DD2 was being held. But when we try to hold EACHOTHER is when she suddenly needs to insert herself. Literally she could be focused on her coloring book or reading or playing with her tea set or something and the moment DH and I sit close to each other, hold hands, or give each other a kiss, she is like lightning right between us. I was seriously at a loss as to why this should occur and why it should coincide with DD2's birth.

Thank you so much for the advice on the taking turns thing! I would have never thought of it but we're going to try this.

Her room is set up in a way where it's fully baby/kid proof and all her toys/bed/books are on her level so that it's a safe space for time outs etc. so sometimes if I need her out of the way when I'm cleaning the house, I'll also have her go in her room (so she doesn't always associate her room with punishment, but a place where she can just play and relax.)

Our talking in our own bedroom is what usually causes her to wake up (her bedroom is next to ours) but we try to be super quiet and whisper but for some reason she's able to hear us and then she comes running in. It's only before we sleep and after we wake up that we try to spend some couple quality time together so they're always supervised.

I was also always taught to do things without showing unhappiness on my face, because then the person asking you to do it won't appreciate it and it's just in general not going to help when you grow up with office politics--my husband has the issue of letting every emotion cross his face and I always have to say, just because you're upset doesn't mean you have to show it, since it doesn't exactly help when it comes to dealing with confrontations with people you don't like but have to work with. I like your comfort corner idea though and I think I'm going to do that as well.

We all watch TV and go to bed at the same time now--around 8:30-9:00, not sure if I could stay up late if I tried.

Interesting... I thought it was a bit on the insecurity stuff but wasn't sure how to reassure without making the behavior worse.

DD went through a phase earlier with wanting to be a baby (when DD2 was a few weeks old) and while I didn't acknowledge it, I would talk to DD1 about how itty bitty DD2 can't do a lot of the fun stuff big girls like DD1 can (eat ice cream, play at the playground, have candy, etc.) and now if we call DD1 a baby she'll be very upset and tell us she is not a baby--and then name all the things babies can't do but she can.

I like your idea of helping until a certain point--I couldn't stop a lot of other people from helping her do stuff I know she can do so it's another issue we have, that weird learned helplessness thing. Like she can pull her pants up after going to the bathroom but she still asks, or if she's coloring and not doing as well as she wants to, she asks for help. I feel like I never asked for help for these things as a kid... I mean, what kid wants their parents to color FOR them? I don't help her but try to encourage her, but she'll just give up and walk off. It's another thing I'm trying to figure out how to deal with.

I recently (hoping that it would help) bought her a book on feelings and naming them. It's a nice book but I don't read it to her as often as I think I should to reinforce it.