You are here

Christmas was a bust

crackergirl's picture

Submitted by crackergirl on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 1:56pm

Dh got his kids all kinds of expensive gifts and my son only had a few presents. Ds said he was fine with it but I could tell it bugged him. Since Christmas my son has been quiet and withdrawn from everyone and his grades are dropping. He won't tell me what's going on with him. I think he feels that the stepkids are loved more than him even though we discussed why he would be getting less. Dh tried to spoil me with gifts at Christmas but I refused to open them after a few since ds didn't have any more and we went into the kitchen and him and I made breakfast and it was awkward as heck. My stepkids yelled and hooted when they opened their gifts and made aurw we knew what they got. It seems like we take 1 step forward and then 2 steps back. We have marriage counseling this week so maybe she can help us.

Comments

crackergirl's picture

Submitted by crackergirl on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 2:23pm

It's the same counselor. If she doesn't explain to him how this effects my son then I will find a new counselor.

Indigo's picture

Submitted by Indigo on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 3:49pm

Crackergirl, your boy is suffering with the choices you continue to make. The pissing match between your DH and yourself; your DH abusing your BS. The "fairness" of presents is not the issue. Your child will be grown and long gone before you get your act together. Stop it, please. Your boy deserves a peaceful house and his mother's time, not to be dragged into the emotional cesspool that you call your marriage. He deserves better. You deserve better.

crackergirl's picture

Submitted by crackergirl on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 5:48pm

Ds had some gifts to open just not the extent dh gave his kids. I would never give ds what dh gave his kids. It was ridiculous and uncalled for. I asked dh not to do it but he didn't listen.

sunshinex's picture

Submitted by sunshinex on Mon, 01/09/2017 - 7:43am

There you go. That's exactly it. This is supposed to be your life together but he's creating a MAJOR seperation between the two families. When I heard your story, I could imagine two families living in one household, not one family with kids who go to two households. That's not right.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 6:42pm

Wait a minute

So you kid didn't miss out because you couldn't afford to do the same or because your husband refused to help you. Once again he missed out and was hurt because of you poor choices.

FABLE, FABLE, FABLE

crackergirl's picture

Submitted by crackergirl on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 6:51pm

There is no need to give kids that much crap! Some of it they haven't even touched. My son appricates everything he got and he uses it. My son feels left out and not part of the family since he didn't receive even close to the same amount of gifts. Dh did offer me some money but only because he wanted to do for me and not ds. I still wouldn't have spent half of what he did.

crackergirl's picture

Submitted by crackergirl on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 7:17pm

I care about his kids and had my finances not been tight I would have gotten them each a heart felt useful gift.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 7:33pm

There's no NEED for cruises, trips to Disney World, smart phones, huge houses , fancy cars, high price clothes, handbags...

You are a control freak who is failing miserably at controlling how your husband interacts with your son and his kids.

Your son is the only one who keeps getting hurt by your choices. At what point do you say enough???

crackergirl's picture

Submitted by crackergirl on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 5:32pm

His grades are dropping and it isn't just what happened on Christmas morning. He knew back at the beginning of December he wouldn't be getting as much presents and that we couldn't do everything dh and his kids would be doing because of money. He watched them get dressed up and go to dinner and a show while we stayed home because I couldn't afford it. I believe things like that are leading him to be depressed and his grades to drop.

crackergirl's picture

Submitted by crackergirl on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 5:45pm

It isn't the gifts it was not being an equal member of our family. Dh offered me money to shut me up and make me happy not because he cares about ds or what is best for ds. No thanks, ds and I can fend for ourselves but to for dh to rub it in like that? That was unacceptable

crackergirl's picture

Submitted by crackergirl on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 5:49pm

He spent over $2000 on each of his kids. That is insane and I wouldn't do that even if I accepted his money.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 6:07pm

Kid is a freshman this year so about 13-14. It was a field trip bus kid missed. Kid needed a ride to bus and BM got hung up at work. Stepdad wouldn't take kid because OP refuses to drive his kids around .

OP and her husband have been playing games for months.

If he was sooooo worried about her kid's grades, depression and lack of equal treatment she would do something about it. She doesn't. She isn't. Just comes here in a worked up tirade and whines.

Pretty much end of 'story'.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 5:08pm

I would have stood over them opening their extra gifts staring at my Soon-To-Be-Ex. I would also bring it up in counseling as one of the reason why you're leaving AND even if they could convince me to stick around for any longer I damn sure would NOT buy his kids anything since their bios go above and beyond.

crackergirl's picture

Submitted by crackergirl on Sat, 01/07/2017 - 5:35pm

Dh wouldn't of cared because he offered me money so I wouldn't feel bad not because he wanted ds to feel like part of the family.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Mon, 01/09/2017 - 2:24am

You decided to be this way, and you are teaching your son to be a special snow flake, to you it's all about gifts gifts etc... that's not what Christmas is about.... teach your son the right way and he will understand...

instead you act like a 7 year old... I'm not opening my gifts cause BS does not have any gifts... WTH??

seriously get a divorce lawyer and take your son out of this family, you are not mature enough to handle this marriage and by this you are hurting your son more then what DH is doing...

remember you choose to disengage, and now you are all pissy cause DH is doing the same...

sunshinex's picture

Submitted by sunshinex on Mon, 01/09/2017 - 7:55am

Personally, as he one who makes more money in our household, we're looking at having a baby soon (my first bio) and I would fully, completely expect my husband to divorce me if I ever treated our bio this vastly different than SD. But we are a family and we act like it...