Ten days before Thanksgiving and already can't wait for it to be over
I just spent the weekend visiting my family and seeing the grandchildren. They are at the sweet toddler ages. DH spent the weekend home with our dogs. He was pouting about something the night before I left. I just left him to pout.
I wanted to spend Thanksgiving with my family this year but it is not going to work out. Too complicated to board the dogs for the holiday and travel and the expense.
So planning to just be DH and me and the doggies.
So here it is ten days before T-Day and OSD is asking DH if he is going to his folks for Thanksgiving near where she lives. ( a five hour drive from our house). She says she will not have any house guests that weekend. Meaning her mother. DH does not stay with OSD when he goes for parties and such because the BM is always there. He will make the trip there and back in one day or stay with his parents one hour farther away.
Last year I was home alone for Thanksgiving while he slept on a couch at his folks.
Sorry for the rambling. The point is. Ever since I have been with DH and the rift with the skids occurred and even before that The holidays have been no joy.
He will wait till the last minute to tell me his plans usually so it is impossible to plan anything.
I think the next time that happens I am going to load up the dogs and go visit my family. He can foot the kennel bill and a hotel room maybe.
When does the resentment ever end for finding myself in this life so far away from my own family?
I love the home we have built together and the peaceful surroundings living along a little creek. Watching the different flowers and trees we have planted growing and blooming each year. But how can I find that internal peace?
When We first got together it seemed we were so in sync with each other. Now I feel so disconnected with him.
I don't even know how to talk about it with him.
I feel like he is so different from when we met. It has been 10 years. Where has all the time gone?
I guess I need to just focus on my work and the pups and my own interests and this too shall pass.
This weekend I am going to start going to church again. With or without him. We used to at least go for holidays but he does not want to even go then.
Ok. Ramble done. Have a blessed Thanksgiving.
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oh dear the 10 year doubt -
oh dear the 10 year doubt - been there..... it's not cause you fell out of love, it's cause you got so use to each other.... and that's the problem..
sit and think what attracted you first to DH, how it was in the first years, re do certain things he enjoys, talk to him about general dreams etc, say things like remember 9 years ago we dreamed about XYZ - what happened can we dream about it again... see the fun about a dream is it can become true or it can stay a dream,
SImply ask him for on a date for TG... no one says you have to have turkey or what ever... start your own little traditions, pizza in bed, all day pajama wear day... or naked day if you are daring enough.... tell him you are bored with the same things over and over and over, the 2 of you need to do new things...
I started with pedi'mani'facial and full body messages....
Yes it seems like being in a
Yes it seems like being in a rut.
As far as I know we are to spend Tday together. I have told him I am not going away. He had offered to stay home with dogs. I said I wanted to spend day with him.
But who knows if he will bail at last minute to go to his folks or the OSD on weekend.
We do have plans already to go to a vineyard lighting night on Fri or Sat night that weekend. Depending on weather what night is better.
But I just have those doubts.
Sometimes I think we spend too much time together but it is not what it used to be.
He says he feels closer when we are intimate. But it is hard to want to be intimate when I do not feel close or even paid attention to. Seems his phone is always being checked for work stuff or fantasy football stats. He just started with the football so it is a new distraction.
I think we are both depressed about the holidays coming up. He has visions of how holidays used to be going to the grandparents house. Now we are grandparents and his adult brats are not allowed here and my adult kids live a couple hours away and have young children of their own. My son is paramedic and works the holiday. His wife is expecting second child around end of Dec. I will get together with my family another weekend and have a visit. The day does not matter to me that much. I am the one that moved out of their area. I do not expect them to travel to me. I remember how difficult that is with toddlers and babies.
I think new year I should plan a surprise get away and we skip the holidays all together.
Hi Granny Goose. Thank you
Hi Granny Goose. Thank you for your wise words. Sorry about your fur baby's passing. I lost my 15 yr old spaniels, one in 2011 and her pup in 2014. These two pups now came to us later in the year in 2014. They are a great pair of distraction and furry love. Dogs are the best for sure! Better than skids any day!
Maybe I can get thru to DH. But he tends to want to sweep under the rug and put his head in the sand rather than talk things out. I am tired of him saying I go on and on if I try to talk about things with him. Some times he notices more when I am just quiet. I think he had an overbearing mom growing up and then his ex and three daughters prior to our relationship. He just shuts down sometimes. This too will pass.
Have a happy Thanksgiving too! Hugs back too you. And some doggie kisses and hugs!
Well he told me tonight he is
Well he told me tonight he is going to visit OSD next weekend. Did I predict that one or not.
I feel nothing about it.
Time to look up some things to do!