FFS
So DH has been trying to get together with his family this weekend, what with the holiday and all. He finally gets a text back at 8:30 Friday night from his sister. Calls, no answer. Talks to her for 30 seconds Saturday morning - so sorry, she's So busy, she just Can't. So we've been doing our own thing the last two days and today we're hanging out with my family.
But I'm checking Facebook this morning and lo..... Yeah, SD came in from out of state and has been hanging out at SIL's house all weekend. 30 minutes from us. Along with most of the nieces and nephews and several of DH's siblings and oh yeah, my MIL. And they couldn't even bother to say anything to him.
I would understand if we got told, she wants to see everyone, it's been years but she's not ready to see her dad, so you're not invited. DH wouldn't understand, but I would. But wow.... To say nothing, avoid his calls, pawn it off as nope sorry we're all just so busy with other stuff....
And he wonders why I hate interacting with his family. He's so angry right now he can't even see straight.
- Aeron's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
What a crappy thing to do. My
What a crappy thing to do.
My DH's family is much the same in that his sibs are not loyal to him and have chosen OSD over him.
It really hurts.
I'm sorry you and your hubby
I'm sorry you and your hubby are dealing with "family" like that. My DH's is the same way. Ever since BM has PASed his kids out of his life, they've been lying to him too. His parents live two states away and his grandmother lives across the country. Last August DH wanted to visit his parents for the weekend. Strangely, they were busy. Come to find out, they were with BM (who they claim to hate) and the boys, and hour away from us, at a family resort/water park. Oh, and DH's grandmother flew in for this "family vacation" too! All the way across the country and she couldn't bother to even stop in to see her grandson. It was supposed to be a big secret, this happy little get-together, but MIL was stupid enough to post pictures all over Facebook. DH was SO hurt. MIL and FIL condone SS17's assholes have behavior towards his father. They reward it with vacations and video game systems and cash. As long as they get to see him, they don't care. DH broke ties with his "family" after that. So, I understand.
It's interesting because they
It's interesting because they ask after SD and make all the nice oh that's too bad, we're so sorry noises and then.... this.
As DH put it, his sister in particular is way more interested in being the "cool" aunt than a decent human being or a good sister. I know if he says anything it will make an enormous stink in the family about how they're entitled to have a relationship with SD of their own which.... ok, sure. But there has to be a better way. And it will become all DH's fault that there's any kind of problem. Or mine.
I'm so sorry! What an awful
I'm so sorry! What an awful thing to do. I'm surprised you haven't just cut them all off yet.
That's not what "family" should be. Then again, if our families were the way they should be, we wouldn't need step talk. Try to enjoy the day without them. Fill it up with stuff to do.
DH was raised in "but it's
DH was raised in "but it's family so no matter what was done, you forgive it" kind of family. I was not. He has been discovering the concept of boundaries with his therapist, but he's not likely to cut anyone off at this point. I kind of wish he would. His mom and sister specifically do at least one huge every year that is just mind boggling awful and he somehow eventually manages to forget and move past.
He is currently saying he doesn't want to have Thanksgiving with them this year.
She's not really the kind of
She's not really the kind of person you can do that with. If you tell herself she was even marginally associated with something hurtful she will break every bone in her body contorting herself to explain and justify how it really wasn't actually hurtful, you're just being silly and she's your Elder!
Then again she's also the woman that posed for photos and gave an interview for a newspaper about how awful it was to have a son deployed overseas in a war zone but never wrote him a letter or sent him a care package. She's just special.
Same here. Chef's family
Same here. Chef's family call him only when they want something. My advice is for DH to enjoy YOUR family outings. 99% of Chef's family live no more than 45 min away, most live 25 min away, but in Girhippotown.