After they turn 18 it's up to the kid to choose etc. We provided ss19 a place to live, he chose to live at mom's. He visits on occasion.

:jawdrop: Sweet, nothing changes for us post 18 other than the money is no longer used by Jabba for her smokes and wine. There is no doubt in mine and my numpty love's head that we will have to sort the kid out in to a facility/ assisted living/ flat and technical education to enable him to earn a living. I don't expect the money to stop until the psycho is 23 or in jail.

Hi Sweet -

I will tell you what Asshat and I do and, of course, you know what DH and I did when it came to ASS.

When my daughter turned 18, she was still in school. After she graduated, she stayed at her dad's for the summer (I was renovating her room due to a flood), which was less than a mile away. As it turned out, she pretty much stayed around my house during the day, working and/or hanging out with her friends, and sleeping at her dad's until my reno was done. She was a good kid, got scholarships and took out loans for college. We both covered her on our insurance because we both had "family" coverage, so that was not an issue. In fact, we both still cover her, despite her having her own health insurance because she is not yet 26.

Thing1 and Thing2 were on a week on, week off schedule by the time they graduated high school. They stayed with me after graduation because Asshat moved to Boston two days after they graduated - lol! Same story for them, good kids, scholarships, loans, jobs to help pay for school. They each went to Boston for a week or two before they left for college to see Asshat, Money-Ka and their siblings before they left for school.

We both insure them on our health insurance and dental insurance and will continue to do so until we are not legally allowed to.

Asshat and I never discussed keeping the kids on our insurance, we just did it independent of each other.

Where I live, CS continues to be paid to BM until SD is 21 if she is enrolled in college or university and still lives with BM. My husband is also responsible for 95% of SD's tuition costs. Both of us can keep her on our insurance plans with our employers until she's 21 if she's a student. If she doesn't go to school then I guess she's on her own as far as that kind of thing goes.

We happen to live near a big city that has both a college and a university. I know if SD ends up attending one of them, my husband will want her to live with us. This will only happen over my dead body.

If SD follows in the footsteps of all the women on BM's side, she won't be going to college or university. I'll be very surprised if SD breaks the pattern and actually does something productive with her life.

NCP here, one still in high school, one in college. No longer legally obligated to provide anything for DD19. But that is my child. I love her dearly. She goes to college and has done an amazing job there--won several awards, GPS is 3.8. Before spring semester finished she asked what she needed to do for summer. She didn't want to stay with her dad, he keeps a dirty home and doesn't really have a spot she can call her own--they have a "dog room" where she could sleep on the couch. I have one spare bedroom, but plenty of other "non-bedroom" space where she or my other child could be during summer. My mom also offered to let her stay with her. So DD is here for most of the summer, DS is here for most of the summer too.

DD cooks, cleans, offers to help with the skids, etc. And she is quiet. She Really doesn't want to have to go stay with her dad, so she is making herself an asset here. She is likely to start interning next summer, so at that point probably will be doing her own thing, finding a place with a roommate or three...but if she doesn't, and she still needs a summer home, she will be welcome until she proves herself unworthy.

My plan is the same for DS. He graduates next year.

ETA: Forgot about insurance. My DH (my childrens step-father) has my kids on his insurance. Because I am court-ordered to provide insurance, his work considers my kids as DHs dependents. It is no extra cost to DH because he already had his kids on the plan, it was just adding a couple more kids.

Well since BM has revolving doors for all the skids and their SOs and the gskids I'm sure she is going to do the same thing she has been doing and that is let the skids live with her. I am a little curious as to how it will be though when she is no longer receiving CS once YSD ages out in 11 months. That may change her generosity since she doesnt have CS money coming in.

BM likes to enable the skids. She makes sure to always bail them out of jail, always make sure they have a place to go even if they are more then capable of supporting themselves and makes sure to welcome their SOs with open arms.

DH is pretty much the complete opposite.

I graduated in May and turned 18 in July. I had scholarships and good grades. I moved out when I graduated highschool. Back then insurance could cover you on parents policy if you were in college and my mom continued to cover me. But I got a job and worked and lived in a four bedroom house with roommates. There were no cell phones back then but I believe my mom kept me on her car insurance too for a few years. I had a good job at the police department with health insurance and benefits by 20 years old.

My mom also drilled drilled drilled self reliance in me. My dad died and my parents were divorced and my mom pulled us all up out of poverty by doing night classes and my grandparents helped. So she drilled all of her children these lessons.

I am passing that on to my kids. I do plan to help them but I do want them to help themselves as my mom did and as I did.

My stepkids aren't taught that at all. They are taught entitlement and that its ok to have a 2.0 grade point average. DD's dad has 34 months of child support at $1000 a month to their mom. One is about to turn 17. He said he was kicke dout of the house at 18 upon graduation and he'll help them with lit bits here and there but I don't think they have the grades or desire for college. He said they aren't getting $1000 a month by any stretch of the imagination and that he fully expects BM to ask that he keeps paying it with the statement of "because they are still living with me." He doesn't expect them to launch.

One can usually get a relatively inexpensive plan when looking into it at college. There's also obomacare. I'd be fine with healthcare if it is the cheapest way to go, but that's it & the actual medical bills, like copays will hopefully be the child's responsibility. Car insurance, no way. I don't ever want a kid on my car insurance plan. College help, again not unless dire. Help when a kid loses a job, maybe but it depends on the circumstance. Summer after HS, yeah I'm fine with staying until then. Once fall semester starts, the kid better have a job or be headed off for college, because they need a place to stay. I'd be willing to go half on an apartment down payment, if going the route of working. If going to college, no need with the dorm. I'm willing to help, but not much. They have to learn to be responsible, hopefully they were taught some of that along the way with bills for car insurance & a car payment, which they'll pay for with the PT job they get in HS.

The supplemental county rules in the county where our CO was issued require that the NCP continue to pay CS until the kid is age 22yo if the kid is a full time student in good standing with the school they are attending. The difference is that when the kid turns 18 or graduates from high school (whichever is later) CS stops going to the CP and goes directly to the kid.

Direct payroll withholding continues and the CS money is direct deposited into the kid's account following their qualifying birthday or graduation from high school.

In our case our son chose to enlist rather than go directly to college even though his mom and I offered to cover the complete cost for him to attend whatever school he chose anywhere in the world. Including room, board, insurance, a car, and spending money. I made sure he understood that he would have another decent chunk of spending money if he kept his waste of skin SpermIdiot nailed to the wall for CS while he went to college. My wording was very respectful in that discussion but I struggle to not let the works in my head leak out when I am discussing the SpermClan with the kid.

I still think that part of his reason for enlisting rather than going directly to college, university, or trade school was because of the guilt fest piled on him by the Sperm Clan. For more than a decade they would berate him while he was on SpermLand visitation for the CS that they paid and give him crap about how that CS was taking food out of the mouths of his three younger also out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawned half sib and how his mom and stepdad were rich and he did not deserve the nice things he had when the younger spawn could not have those things. They were terrified that he would invoke the additional 4yrs of CS if he decided to go directly on to college.

I kept reminding him that his SpermIdiot owed him CS if he wanted to work on finishing his degree while he was serving in the USAF. He never nailed the SpermIdiot's balls to the wall on that though he has been working on his computer science degree. He is doing great and has very little to do with the SpermClan which is a great thing IMHO. He is a few months from completing his Associate of Science Degree in Computer Science and is 3-ish years away from his BSCS. The USAF keeps him very busy so it is taking him a while to knock out his BS. I am gaining confidence every day that he will finish it. He is maturing into a noteworthy young man of character and is doing a great job of supporting himself and has since he enlisted at 18. He is now 23.

As for me, were I my Skid I would have kept the SermClan on the hook and enjoyed every second of it while posting frequent FB pictures of all of the dates and beer that my CS income was supporting. }:) But, I truly detest every adult in that shallow and polluted gene pool since they first started their toxic bullshit with my bride (While we were dating. SS was 15mos old then.) and have relished in every idiot decision they have made when it came crashing down around them in flames.

Is that wrong of me? :? }:)

Many universities offer low cost health insurance to full time students.