Spoke to BM for an hour and a half last night. She is no longer allowed to see SS at all.
Wow. I am fairly convinced she was loaded when we were talking. Telling me how she has been clean since Saturday *insert eyeroll*. Here are just SOME of her confessions:
She was dodging CPS last year so she could get meth out of her system
She passed out driving TWICE and ran her car in to a tree both times
She is high way more than she is sober
She “blows smoke up our ass” when she tells us she is doing better and getting her life on track (duh)
She has slept in her car multiple times, sometimes not on purpose, she passes out places and doesn’t even realize it until someone knocks on her window
She doesn’t plan on cutting ties with Meth Man
When she was pulled over in the school parking lot she had a sack of meth in her pocket
She has been pulled over 8 times since November. Most of the time she “should have gone to jail”.
She has driven SS while high, a lot
Everything people assume about her is true
She is too embarrassed to go to NA in our town (excuse)
SOME of my responses:
SS deserves to know the truth
I stopped dealing with her the day that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was loaded when she dropped SS off. I decided that night that I will no longer play a part in allowing her to put his life in danger. That is why she has been forced to deal with DH. Now that he wasn’t letting her drive with him, I agreed to help.
She needs IN PATIENT rehab, outpatient will not be enough for her
She LOOKS the part and SS isn’t stupid. He knows Meth Man does meth and is smart enough to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
Would she rather deal with people she knows talking about how they saw her at an NA meeting, or people talking about how they saw her pulling out of a motel in the worst part of town (that has happened), or… how they found her passed out in her car that was crashed in to a tree??
We can and will drag her ass in to court if she doesn’t get her shit together
She will never stay clean with Meth Man in her life
She isn’t allowed to see SS without me there, but then after talking to DH we decided that she needs to be clean for a while before that even happens. I text her that this morning, she won’t like it.
So, that's where we are at. We will see what happens from here.
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Meth man is her "boyfriend"
Meth man is her "boyfriend"
She isn’t allowed to see SS
She isn’t allowed to see SS without me there, but then after talking to DH we decided that she needs to be clean for a while before that even happens. I text her that this morning, she won’t like it.
Too effin' bad. What's she gonna do about it? Nothing, that's what.
Go to Court NOW! It's the
Go to Court NOW! It's the only way that she will be forced to enter rehab. And you do want her to get better, right?
I know how hesitant your husband is to use the court system when he can just control access easily, but this shit needs to be documented.
For everyone's sake.
so the meth in her pocket on
so the meth in her pocket on school grounds - does she have an upcoming court date for that? what about the dui's of drugs? it's quite possible she could ask to be placed in some sort of Drug Court program or DRC. that will give some accountability.
and yes yes YES your dh needs to file for permanent change of custody. he shoulda done that months ago!!!
She has never been caught.
She has never been caught. The cops never search her. Just let her go. She just told me that she had it in her pocket because she was afraid she was going to jail that day, and my mom was sitting there watching the whole thing happen.
oh i see. well until she's
oh i see. well until she's forced to get clean, she wont. smart move on your dh's part to just cut out ALL visitation. but he absolutely needs to file, asap.
dh's CO reads "Respondent/Mother is entitled to visitation with the two eldest minor children at all times that are mutually agreeable between Respondent and each eldest child." this went into effect when lurch was still 13 y.o.
while they still technically share joint legal custody, in the event they dont agree on something major, the primary custodial parent makes the final decision.
i would strongly advise your dh to file for permanent full-time custody w/ visitation 'as agreed upon'. not sure if it's admissable, but i WISH you'd had her recorded when talking about having drugs on her, doing drugs, things like that. then i'd ask for continued outpatient substance abuse treatment to be a condition for visitation along with weekly NA meetings, and leaving the program or failing a drug screen will result in revocation of her visitation privileges.
I have several texts
I have several texts yesterday of her confessing that she uses. I have screen shot and emailed all of them to myself.
awesome. so why hasnt he
awesome. so why hasnt he filed yet?
Same reason as always, he
Same reason as always, he doesn't want to drag SS through it. He probably won't unless she attempts to force her time with him he won't do it. And if she forces, we will refuse. She can call the cops and file a report. Then that would just force us in to court.
i want to grab your dh by the
i want to grab your dh by the shoulders and shake the PISS out of him. ss doesnt even have to know anything!!!! lurch and kaos had no idea about court, custody papers, anything of the sort. they just came to stay with us for good, and it's been that way ever since, and they can see their mom any time they want (but of course she's never exercised visitation). your ss doesnt have to get dragged through anything as far as he's concerned.
I wish that were the case. We
I wish that were the case. We have seen so many cases in our family court. My sister included. The judge here always wants to hear from the kids. SS does not like to talk about it. At all. We have seen the judge talk to the kids in cases anywhere from PAS to drugs to abuse to just a simple change of custody because one parent thought it was better for the kids.
He does it in his chambers.
He does it in his chambers. In my sisters situation he had me go pull both kids out of school and bring them to him. It sucked.
oss was with us for the court
oss was with us for the court stuff in case the judge needed to talk to him, but the, he ended up not calling him cuz it was such a blatant cut-n-dry thing. "no home, no job? father gets custody."
i forget what state you're in! could be totally different than what we went through.
California is VERY different.
California is VERY different. Almost to the point that it is scary. You hear horror stories about how CPS overlooked a child and they ended up dead... that's the stuff that I am concerned about.
Pretty convinced she was
Pretty convinced she was loaded when we were talking. She was going a million miles a minute and some of the things she was saying were so... crazy. Like telling me that she thinks her friend (DH's EX-BEST friend from high school) is a NARC and this other guy we know is a paid informant. She sounded like a crazy person.
Yeah... it's pretty scary.
Yeah... it's pretty scary. There is a family in our little league. The dad was high on meth, his girlfriend was sitting in his lap. He reached around and slit her through, for no reason. And then took off running to go find help for her. He spent 7 years in prison.
yes it is awful. i'd hate to
yes it is awful. i'd hate to think of any kids being around someone on meth. so far, dumb@$$'s psychosis seems to be limited to running into the woods barefoot and disappearing, or talking to imaginary people. i shudder to think what she'll be capable of as her mental state deteriorates....
Wow. That is just...
Wow. That is just... unimaginable. I just don't know how people can do that to themselves.