Update - Vacation Time with Teenagers
Yesterday I posted a very long blog. I shared with DH & he really appreciated the feedback! 
When I got home, I read the responses to DH and we had a discussion on next steps/ideas for him to take.
DH called SD17stb18 and she confirmed she is coming to stay with us for summer visitation and is looking forward to it. She is working 2 jobs this summer so we let her know when we are taking our annual family vacation so she can arrange time off well in advance.
As far as SD13 goes, since BM is the master manipulator and we're never clear what she says is truth or fiction, DH's plan is to send a group text to SD13 & BM inquiring if SD13 wants to come for summer visitation since BM reported she hates coming to our home. This way, SD13 knows DH is asking so if BM responds she doesn't want to come, at least we know she's part of that decision. Last year they [BM & SD13] had this big plan to drive around the country all summer and see sights. DH fought HARD for his time but it was an exhausting battle in addition to the stress of buying/moving to a new house and a heart attack to boot.
I know there are some folks who think DH should just enforce the CO but honestly, the drama last year was crazy intense and I'd rather not see my spouse in the hospital again...
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TOTALLY NAILED IT,
TOTALLY NAILED IT, MUSTANG!!
It's as bad as the old BM standby "are you okay at dad's?"
Ugh - just ugh.
OP - don't use words like "have to go" and "force" - just look at the teenager in front of you and say "time to go to dad's"
STOP putting your negative spin on it, FFS.
I lived with Asshat when we
I lived with Asshat when we were in college and before we got married.
Dated HorriblyAbusiveDude for 10 years after Asshat and I divorced. He never spent the night at my house if my kids were there. He was a widower, so I rarely spend the night at his house. When we went on vacation with his kids, I had my own room.
DH and I didn't live together except for one month before our wedding when I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. I sought, and received, permission from the Court.
Like you, Fruit, I don't believe in living without the benefit of marriage when there are kids in the house.
Asshat and I had that in our
Asshat and I had that in our CO.....
When I had to have an emergency hysterectomy, I had my attorney present an order to Asshat's attorney amending the CO so that DH (we weren't married then and we never cohabitated as I am not a fan of that) could stay with me during the weeks that the boys were with me.
Asshat was all "ah, that's okay, I don't have a problem with it" but nope, I insisted on doing it the right way. Thankfully, Asshat's attorney signed off on it and the judge signed off on it before I was out of the hospital
right? because I sure as
right? because I sure as hell can't!
thank Dog for fruit!!
"currently i get the eye
"currently i get the eye rolls, under breath mumbles and angry body language."
all normal teen stuff. You get it, dad gets it, teachers get it.
downsouthinTX, the difference
downsouthinTX, the difference is that you are a normal BM.
Our BM has been filling the SKs heads with "Dad left the family" for over a decade.
My DH doesn't fight Puke on
My DH doesn't fight Puke on it any more. She comes when she wants which is rarely but DH is over the drama with trying to make her. I just try to fill the void.
Puke is terrible to take on vacations. She thinks it's all about what she wants. Whines & complains when we do something she doesn't want to. I stopped suggesting and planning trips that include her. We just end up miserable so what's the point?
Well, DH did end up messaging
Well, DH did end up messaging BM & SD13 and SD13 responded that she does want to come to our house for the summer.
We always have a great time when they are away from BM for a bit. I'm glad for DH that SD13 didn't turn her back on him. Sorta makes me think the comments about hating coming to our house are lies from BM...
This is supposed to be DH's
This is supposed to be DH's weekend this coming up. We'll see if there is an "excuse" as to why they won't come.
DH's position is that he will
DH's position is that he will continue to daily try and contact the SKs one way or another. SD17 has been good about staying in better contact after the last conversation about relationships, even in families, are a 2 way street. Don't hold your hand out and expect gifts, money, trips, etc if you can't even bother to contact every now and then.
We are realistic enough to know that hit home and she has wants that we often provide. I was all for cutting off the gravy train but she's shaping up.:)
Now if DH could somehow connect with SD13...