BM asked DH to cosign a loan for SS19 college
Follow up to earlier post. My spidey senses were tingling so I checked DHs email. Sure enough there was an email from BM. Last they left it he asked if she was going to pay anymore of SS19s tuition and she say not much more and suggested he cosign loans. DH did not respond. So today this:
"Would you be willing to cosign a loan for SS19 so he can build credit. We would choose pay as you go option and I would make payments until he has a job and ensure the payments are made. Once he establishes credit in 6 months he can take out loans in his own name."
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Right? How delusional is she?
Right? How delusional is she? She honestly thinks after 6 months good credit history SS19 will be able to take out $10,000 of loans per year with no income? Maybe he could get a credit card, that's about all he will qualify for.
DH is smart but not financially savvy so this may sound reasonable to him. I have always said no cosigning loans and DH has gone along, but he brought up in therapy he thinks I'm being unfair to SS19. Now that push has come to shove I expect we will have a fight over this.
what do you think your DH is
what do you think your DH is going to say?
I think he will want to do
I think he will want to do it. He knows I am against it, so he will probably wait to bring it up in therapy.
When I want my kids to know
When I want my kids to know how much I make, I will tell them
yeah - DH's income is in
yeah - DH's income is in there, too, and it's really none of their business.
Plus - when I was filling out for DD24 at first and then the boys, Medusa and Asshat had joined forces. NO WAY was any of my financial information going to go to Medusa
I know, I hate it, too. My
I know, I hate it, too. My boys would probably have qualified for some grants at my income level and two in college at the same time, I am not sure. I AM sure that because DH's income lives in my household that they didn't
My mom was a single parent raising 4 of us when I went off to college. No on in my family had ever gone to college, so I learned how to fill out the FAFSA on my own. It was an actual piece of paper then - lol!
indeed, she is.
indeed, she is.
No I am not....
No I am not....
https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/
https://studentaid.ed.gov/sa/types/loans/subsidized-unsubsidized#how-much
Clearly you don't read I said
Clearly you don't read I said per semester...Not year. He is eligible for the 7500 a year...3750 a semester. Also, I would never, ever do a unsubsidized loan, parent plus or private...Absolutely the worst thing you can do.
Oh I'm sure. When DH brought
Oh I'm sure. When DH brought up her bankruptcy in court she claimed "lots of divorced women go bankrupt." Their divorce was 8 years ago, she makes six figures and gets child support.
Has DH mentioned anything to
Has DH mentioned anything to you about this? I know you two have an agreement about discussing before cosigning any loans.
I wish I could say I'm surprised. She has planned all along for this to happen. She can't come up with her share, refuses to let skids go to public school so she expects DH to somehow cover all of it. I'm sorry, I hate that stomach dropping, anxious feeling when it comes to BM'S and money.
I agree. This was her plan
I agree. This was her plan from day 1. Right when she argued to keep the kids in private school it was inevitable this would happen.
Also as an aside it drives me
Also as an aside it drives me crazy all this "We" pronoun. We would do this... Etc. I think part of this is striving to stay enmeshed with DH.
No BM WE (me and DH) already made our promised payments. WE want nothing to do with you and your idiotic plans, especially now that SS is 19.
You need to print out all the
You need to print out all the times she's ever said she'd pay for something and didn't for that therapy session. When he brings it up in front of the therapist you can pull it all out and say "no dear, as of right now we've already paid this much even though you agree to only this much; BM says she will repay you but here are examples that she's just saying it to get you to sign it." I don't know how your DH isn't refusing just out of principle for BM trying to swindle him. Anytime BM tries to get DH to agree to something or make a deal a pull up on my computer the last time she pulled the same crap and how she ended up causing him more problems for helping her out. He should tell her "I would love to help SS by covering your portion of tuition again this semester, but I won't get approved as a co-signer because all of my income is going to the other kids private school. And you told the judge that the private school tuition was priority so you'll have to find a new co-signer." Hopefully she doesn't know his credit score so a little white lie will save you both in the long run. If he decides to do it without you on board (because it's a stupid idea) then you need to separate everything between you and him financially and get him to write a signed/sealed letter saying you aren't responsible for repaying that loan or any other loans him and SS and BM take out.
Thanks Maxwell. I am going to
Thanks Maxwell. I am going to show up to that therapy session with exhibits for sure. There is no way I'm letting DH or the therapist guilt me into agreeing to this.
Also, take copies of articles
Also, take copies of articles in which it is advised AGAINST co-signing student loans.
And maybe take divorce papers, as well (kind of kidding).
Aw isn't she a special kind
Aw isn't she a special kind of stupid, bless her heart. She sounds about as dumb as BM2 and her husband who thought if they dressed in their Sunday best and went to the bank and asked for a loan that they would get it. He wore a suit, BM gussied herself and they couldn't figure out why they were turned down? Strange times we live in... very strange indeed.
I really hope your DH is not even remotely contemplating such nonsense.
wait - they seriously thought
wait - they seriously thought all they had to do was look nice??? Sounds like they are a special kind of stupid, too
I bet that's what ASS thinks - he can just walk into a bank and because he is really great and super awesome, the bank will just hand him some money.
no, it is because he didn't
no, it is because he didn't ask to be born. The world owes him. silly you to forget that.
Very good advice! DH is
Very good advice! DH is making me nervous with talk of how he "wishes he could do more to help SD with college" (if she goes)and he might send her a couple hundred bucks a month etc. I feel that is a BAAAADDD idea... because we know how terrible she is with money. There is no need to continue to facilitate it by continuing to throw money at her. She needs to learn to adult!
I have a bad feeling I am going to lose that battle, but it's not a hill to die on, because at least he is not signing on thousands of dollars of student loans or thinking he's going to pay for ALL of college.
And I honestly have no problem helping her IF.. BIG IF, she proves herself serious about this... by getting good grades, having a job etc. I just don't really see that happening. The only reason she is graduating from high school in a couple of months is because Aunt J held her feet to the fire, paid for private tutors, and spoon fed her... when left to her own devices, I just don't see SD having any gumption.
Sounds good! Definitely
Sounds good! Definitely stuff I would have no problem with.
This is what my mother did
This is what my mother did for me my first two years I chose to live in the dorms instead of at home. At the beginning of Fall and Spring semesters she would take me grocery shopping for canned fruits and drinks to keep stored for the first couple of weeks. If I needed has long she would deposit 20$ into my account from her town and I would go fill up in college town.
This is great advice! I
This is great advice! I always have to remind DH that SS19 isn't the last kid in college. He has 3 more to come. We don't have the money to cosign loans for them all. I promised him that IF there is leftover money after all is said and done we can help them pay off their federal loans.
we told ASS that he had to
we told ASS that he had to invest in his education, that we would contribute, but that he was going to carry the lion's share.
He told us - wait for it - that he didn't ask to be born, and therefore we owed him a college education.
Uh - okay then.
Oh my that is the funniest
Oh my that is the funniest thing I've read all day! I wonder at what age he feels that argument is no longer valid... Perhaps you should start saving for his retirement now. Unlike the rest of us, he didn't ask to be born!
oh yeah, it was absolutely
oh yeah, it was absolutely hysterical.
I think I blogged about it.
Nice to see you, it's been awhile
Thanks you too! I'm always on
Thanks you too! I'm always on here but post only occasionally. Something tells me I will have more to post soon!
No, no, no, and never.
No, no, no, and never.
if your kid lived with you,
if your kid lived with you, he would get the loan only.
Wow - one good thing about your ex-husband LOL!!!!
yeah, but you used dad's
yeah, but you used dad's income
that was freaking smart, woman!!
you are supposed to use the
you are supposed to use the income of the parent with whom the child primarily lives.
If that parent is remarried, it's household income, baby. No getting around that.
There is no instruction on it that says to use the income of the lower wage-earner....
Because your FAFSA and your 1040 need to match, it's a little difficult to put one set of numbers on one and another set on another.
I have gone to many seminars,
I have gone to many seminars, too. The instructions are pretty clear.
Here's hoping it matters not!!!
Remember, you are not married and I am...that makes a big difference!!
http://www.fastweb.com/financial-aid/articles/when-is-a-stepparent-or-ad...
dup
dup
don't remarry until he is out
don't remarry until he is out of college. It's not worth it.
Here's hoping Mr. Meijer bagger doesn't get a promotion
DH has college tuition plans
DH has college tuition plans for both skids. BM does not contribute . She's " broke " from shopping for shit . The monthly payments are high . I am indirectly supporting this since DH pays me very cheap rent on the house he lives in , which I own ( so he can comfortably make those payments for skids ) .
If I ever hear the word " loan " or tuition payment out of his mouth for skids , he will be homeless . I hope your DH deleted this e mail and will not respond .
No one should ever co-sign
No one should ever co-sign for a loan that they are not willing to repay. Even the most trustworthy child with true integrity can find themselves in a place where they cannot repay the loan. Sometimes unfortunately it could even be the death of the child.
BM has filed for bankruptcy,
BM has filed for bankruptcy, so she can't co sign.