as soon as i posted yesterday I got another call from police
I haven't posted about the current stuff. really long story made short sd15 ran away last week. first day was wednesday. she got raped that night. was caught at school the next day and said we abused her to the cops. dhs was of course called and we were deemed safe she ran away again she was caught saturday. she then was like my father punches me in the ribs.police took her home to us and in the driveway she said she was raped wed. she hadn't taken a shower. turns out it was true. she was raped at a friends house by her 19 year old brother.
so sd is going around telling her entire school she had sex...well she was raped and the list goes on so the principle and police call me and tell me if sd doesn't decide to shut her mouth we will be fined. and how they were concerned about her becuase she is way to happy like the happiest kid in the world. all i said is that i would pass on the message.
so i did exactly that and dh decided to take her to another hospital (5th times a charm right?) well she threw a fit.crying screaming yelling wouldn't get out of the car. the whole big deal. all she kept saying is i want bm.
SD DOESN'T KNOW BM.... I DON'T KNOW BM.... SHES A LOWLIFE WHO PICKED DRUGS OVER HER CHILD! she hasn't seen her since she was 2. but dh took her over at 930pm and banged on the door till they opened it. said sd wants to live with you. bm said how do you feel about that? dh says im pissed as hell but she ran away got raped and still didn't come home. shes been trying to split the wife and i up for years. if this is her end game lets just make it happen and all he tells her is shes failing all her classes due to skipping.
no nothing. no everytime this kid gets mad she calls dhs. no shes been in 5 mental hospitals. 1 theraputic girls home. nothing just here you go.
i don't even know what to think. i am relieved but i am also scared to death...y? and y is it so difficult to let things go. i can honestly say i have taken care of her by myself mostof this time and i do not know how to let go.
just ranting....
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yep. bm already didn't make
yep. bm already didn't make her go to school
If all this acting out was
If all this acting out was just to get to BM, why didn't your DH let her meet BM and learn for herself a LOOOONG time ago?
And I certainly *hate* the victim blame-game, but it doesn't sound like authorities are all that convinced she was raped. Are you sure she didn't have consensual sex with her friends brother? She sounds like a deeply disturbed girl who may be lying on many levels. I guess with her so unstable, it would impossible to know what is fact and what is fiction.
I understand that you must feel absolutely devastated to have invested so much only to have it all blow up like this.... but like everyone says, you can't care more than their parents.
And it sounds like Dad is DONE.
well when they did the rape
well when they did the rape kit they gave her morning after pill... without permission...but my mind went there and hiv... and all the other std's
anyone. they just gave her
anyone. they just gave her the pill
your exactly right its the
your exactly right its the same in our state untill your 16 its considered rape.
no it was no consentual...at
no it was no consentual...at least thats what we were told through the forensics nurse. too many signs of fight.
For some reason I had it in
For some reason I had it in my mind that she was 16, which in my state is age of consent if the older partner is not more than 4 years older (or something like that).
I'm so sorry to hear this. My apologies. I feel awful for doubting for even a second.
And yes- NO 14 yo can consent, I don't care what the situation.
don't feel bad im her step
don't feel bad im her step mom...she is the boy who cried wolf...it happened yet untill the forensic nurse told us there was no sign it was consented. i still feel bad bc part of me says its still not real....
no turns out she was really
no turns out she was really raped they said she was bruised and torn and looked like bruised hamburger meat. and as for taking a child into custody they won't do it here unless they take all of the kids. and my biosons aren't gonna be taken becuase a child wants to be out of control. the reason bm hasn't been in the picture is because when she was 2 the court ordered no contact between biomom and sd15. there were some bad things that went down. i don't know how all the rape thing went down i dound it super odd it happened Wed. and she didn't say anything till Saturday and was still continuing to run away and hide and lie on her dad and I. jobcore wont take her till shes 16. dad is done dad has been done a long time ago.it did just blow up out of nowhere. things till this point were manageable...actually enjoyable. then she ran away out of nowhere.
they diagnosed her at age
they diagnosed her at age nine with bipolar. her bio is bipolar as well. but a year ago they winged her off all meds becuase she wouldn't take them. and then discontinued treatment with her after sd telling them im going to tell you whatever the hell you want to hear so i can get the f* out of this office.
the hospitals here are a
the hospitals here are a freakin joke. she has been in 4 and all have released her becuase she doesn't meet the criteria. she isn't SUICIDAL therefore no help. i really though that theraputic girls home would of helped but she wouldn't do the designated work so they released her as well.
My college roommate had a
My college roommate had a daughter who was bipolar. She was odd at 1 year old and only got worse over the years. Her parents (intact family with lots of resources) did everything to try to help her. They literally spent hundreds of thousands of dollars for treatment for her.
Her parents were lovely people who raised two other wonderful children - but she was just a lost cause. Not everyone can be salvaged. Just like not everyone can beat cancer.
My friend is now deceased. Her daughter was in prison the last I heard. So tragic.