You are here

Picking and choosing

Annoyed1's picture

Submitted by Annoyed1 on Wed, 01/13/2016 - 1:17pm

For the most part, I would consider myself mostly disengaged. The only 2 things I engage myself with are things that do/will affect my life: SS's chores and when SS has homework due. I chose to be involved with those because I am not the household maid and I want SS to finish school when he turns 19 (he failed grade 1 while living with BM).

DH checks over ss's homework because he said he was done. DH tells SS that he's not done, he's supposed to color in the map. It's #3 out the three things he was supposed to do. SS is CONSTANTLY doing this!!! He will pick and choose what he will do in his homework assignments. Well, now he's starting to do that with his chores!!! And it's starting to piss me off. He has a chore chart of 2 chores / day. Well, Monday he's told to do his chores, he "accidentally" did 1/2 of Sunday's chores (the easy one of take out the trash) and then does the easy one of Monday and calls it good. I told him Tuesday to finish the chore he missed on Monday (clean his bathroom) and to do his Tuesday's chores. He does his Tuesday chores and doesn't touch his bathroom. I told DH that I've asked SS twice now, to clean the damn bathroom and he's not going to like it if I have to ask a THIRD time! DH goes and tells SS to finish his chores and to clean his bathroom. Well, today I go into the bathroom and the only this he touched was the bathroom sink and counter!!!! The mirror is gross, the garbage is full, there's towels and laundry on the floor, and don't even get me started on the tub and toilet!!! So, I changed the wifi password. He will come home and immediately notice that it's not working. I won't give it to him until the bathroom is CLEAN!!!! How is this ok?!? I get he's a teen but my goodness! It's like we have to walk him through everything step by step!!!! Thanks for letting me vent Smile

Comments

Annoyed1's picture

Submitted by Annoyed1 on Wed, 01/13/2016 - 6:04pm

Sorry, I just noticed I left that out. He's 14. Old enough to know. He's been living with us for a year, so he knows what's expected of his chores by now. It's just frustrating. The wifi thing worked, but I shouldn't have to do that. DH should, but he works late. If I waited for DH to get home, nothing would get done.

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Wed, 01/13/2016 - 6:46pm

I love the wifi idea. My DD is 15, she drives me crazy with chores. She puts off the worst chore, procrastinating the inevitable. I am a get the worst over kind of person so it irritates me. It's on my timelinw, not hers.

When she was 13, I would have her put her cell on the counter after school until all her chores were done. That worked very well and I use it as a threat if she's dragging her feet.

Annoyed1's picture

Submitted by Annoyed1 on Wed, 01/13/2016 - 6:57pm

Yes, it's a great idea that someone here suggested I try! And it worked wonders! Lol! You just got to find their kryptonite and SS14's is the Internet. I just hate feeling the the drill sergeant all the time. I know he knows better, which is why I wasn't giving in. DH just looks and thinks "good enough". I've seen ss's capabilities and I won't settle for less. I think being a manager changed my perspective and expectations. It's a cruel world out there and it's not going to cater to SS. He needs to learn how to follow directions now. He is a good kid otherwise. Just will get away with whatever he can (typical teen).

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Wed, 01/13/2016 - 7:31pm

Ah, expectations. I have found that the saying holds true. Don't lower your expectations to "good enough". Unfortunately, I have no expectations of my skids. Just hope that SS, 22, gets a job and that SD, 18 take a full course load at community college and work full-time. And that at some point, they support themselves. And that they contact DH when NOT asking for money.