And back to the question of wills

DH and I may never agree on this, but his health is not the greatest so his will has been on my mind.

I think, given that we have joint finances, the will should be structured so that all of his money goes to me (to care for our two minor children). But I know DH will think I am leaving SD21 out. Never mind the tens of thousands of dollars we put into her over the years, culminating in five years of college.

I don't think kids are entitled to inherit from their parents. If there is money at the end, great. But that is not an expectation in my opinion. Thoughts?

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I "inherited" half of my

I "inherited" half of my dad's savings. But the only reason he had any savings was because I 100% supported him for several years. He literally did not spend a penny of his $800/mo SS.

Technically it should all have gone to me - but my sister was having huge health and work problems. And on a totally separate note I gifted my sister more than the amount I received as an inheritance - so I guess she got it all. But I was okay with that. She almost died twice and lost her business (20 years in existence) during all of this.

My sister is now healthy and has a new business that is doing well. She is much younger than I am so hopefully she will be around for me as I age.

I agree, I sort of expect DH

I agree, I sort of expect DH to leave me behind in a few years, at the rate he is going, maybe about the time our oldest BD is hitting college? I am going to NEED that money. And I think our two DDs should get MORE money than SD got for college, as she got from DH and BM and BM's mom and my kids won't have all that. Nobody wealthy here!

I agree with you. Maybe he

I agree with you. Maybe he should take out an additional life insurance policy with her as the only beneficiary. That's what I did for my girls

Regarding adult offspring, I

Regarding adult offspring, I don't think it should be expected, especially when there is not considerable wealth, and even then, there are wealthy people who do not leave their money to the adult kids.

Of course, there are exceptions, depending on length of marriage and financial contributions of each party. Some feel they should not leave it all to the spouse, especially in these step situations.

My DH is where he is financially because of me, so yeah, I expect to get everything if something happens to him. If he wants to leave my SD a thousand bucks, I'm not going to pitch a fit over it, but it will not be divided up.

We have been married 14 years

We have been married 14 years and have children 12 and 9. We are most definitely not wealthy, when I married DH he was in considerable debt and lost his job soon after, so it has been my financial acumen and earning ability that has kept us afloat and which SD21 is taking advantage of to stay in college perhaps indefinitely.

I actually plan to check into

I actually plan to check into that, except he has a pre-existing will that was written before we even met, I'm curious if that would change anything.

The new will, will negate any

The new will, will negate any previous wills.

My cousins had her two

My cousins had her two daughters in her very early 20s (she was married and they children were planned). Her daughters put off child bearing until closer to 30 and both ended up infertile even after years of trying. Their mother had a hysterectomy at an early age and was told that she most likely would never have had children if she'd waited.

I agree that it should all go

I agree that it should all go to the surviving spouse...especially if they've been married for a substantial time, have joint finances, have built a home together, have minor children together...etc. But estate planning for blended families is so complicated and full of potential for hurt feelings...

My husband and I don't have kids together, but we bought this house and built a business together...and, yes, I intend to inherit it. I also handle our finances and contribute more to my IRA and my personal savings than he does to his...just in case anything becomes acrimonious or questioned after he's gone...I'll have something that's mine only. He doesn't have to worry about that if I die first since I don't have anyone to lay claim to my estate other than him.

I agree that it should all go

I have no children - just my

I have no children - just my younger sister. I have two nephews and a niece but their father is extremely wealthy so I'd never leave them any money. Some heirlooms but not money.

My DH is almost a year younger (although my family has a history of living much longer than his). I want him to be okay during his life time - but NONE of my money will be left to his worthless POS son or his children. So I have a trust.

We just did ours, everything

We just did ours, everything goes to the surviving spouse. That is who will be raising any dependant children, pay healthcare bills and suffer the loss of income. Unfortunately, I have lost a spouse and I have made sure that both of us are covered with generous life insurance - I don't think I could fully recover if I have to go through that hell again. And I know my DH would be devastated and would need to pay for help (cleaning lady twice a week, not every 2 weeks and probably scheduled laundry service).

I also agree assets should go

I also agree assets should go to the surviving spouse. Once the survivor passes, then, sure, remaining assets can be distributed to children. Or not--leave it all to the local animal shelter if the couple so chooses. My DH and I have promised to take care of each other first, and our children second. We have no children together.

The ONE exception is any inheritance I receive from my Mom. I will use it within the marriage as I see fit, but I want to protect anything that remains for my daughter and her family only. My steps aren't evil by any means and if there are assets remaining from DH and me, they will inherit some of that, but not stuff from my parents.

When my SM died my Dad got

When my SM died my Dad got everything, with the exception of an rsp she'd requested go to her two kids. It wasn't in her will, it was just something she and my Dad discussed. She wanted them to take a trip with their families with the money. Which they did.

When my Dad died 3 months later, everything was split among all 5 kids.

Her kids also got all of her furniture and keepsakes. She was Dutch and had brought heirloom antiques from Holland, she also had a lot of Delft China. I got one plate to remind me of her and my steps offered it to me.

We never fought over anything and didn't need the will to tell us who got what.

Now, my Mom and stepdad have every little thing detailed. His kids will come swooping in expecting Their Share!

I received advice from two

I received advice from two estate attorneys who both advised that DH leave a nominal amount to each of the skids. In our state, if he does that, it would be very difficult for them to contest the will.

He does not have a close relationship with his kids and does not plan on leaving them anything other then what the attorney advised. He is leaving everything to me, and if we die together, it goes to my sister. She has directions on how he wants some belongings distributed. (We have no kids together.)

Problem is, DH "thinks" he

Problem is, DH "thinks" he has a "good" relationship with SD21. We ONLY hear from her when she wants money. But to him that's enough. That's a good idea to leave her at least a little something, I don't think she should get nothing but I don't intend for her to get money I will NEED to support our two minor children.

what in the world is going on

what in the world is going on lately with all these posts about wills? it makes me nervous.... *shudders*

i guess that's one of the perks of being pretty broke - there's not much to leave to anyone. we've got life insurance policies that will cover those expenses and a portion of bills for a few months. most material items we have are just that - items. there are things that have sentimental value to dh and i but not to anyone else. all my s#!t goes to dh as i have no will. i have verbally told him i'd like ONE item passed to my cousin, but that's it. i trust him to follow through on that, but if he doesnt so what, i'm already dead by then!

dh does have a will but i have no idea what it says. i dont need to know. it was written long after we were married so i know dumb@$$ gets nothing, i'm assuming he's just specifying which of the boys get certain items that are family heirlooms, and probably a small portion of his life insurance to give them a financial boost. if i get nothing it wouldnt matter to me either. i'd be pissed in principle, but i was self-sufficient long before we met, and i can be self-sufficient again long after he's gone. so i really have no interest in seeing his will or even discussing it.

and OP - i totally agree with you. no one is entitled to jack schitt. and they should be incredibly greatful if they DO receive anything. i think you should explain to your dh that sd has ALREADY BEEN GIVEN her inheritance.

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And back to the question of wills

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