I'm at a loss

I am at a loss I hate my 12yr old step daughter. I have never felt this way about anyone let alone a child!!This child is constantly disrespectful,steals, disregards rules,is dirty not wanting to use soap during a shower or wash her hair or comb it! Oh & the lies she is psychopathic & I'm not exaggerating!!I removed her from my home 6mo ago because she accused me of beating her,looked me in the face & said yes you did hit me then told her grandma I made bruises on her NONE of which was true I have NEVER touched her! Thank goodness everyone saw through her inconsistent lies. I decided to give her another chance but it is not going well. She's constantly taking the other kids things using things w/o permission & purposely creating conflict w/anyone around such as repeatedly their name 50x just to be annoying. She laughs & try to antagonize me making faces as soon as her dad turns his back. He feels I'm just picking on her which is so far from the truth! I have done nothing but try to help & be there for her since her mom is a Crack head & abandoned her & her 6 siblings when she was 3. I'm 4mo pregnant & don't need the stress or the BS brought on by her or to my own kids, they can't stand her either. I have no idea how to resolve this feeling or deal with this kid!

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I have had conversations with

I have had conversations with others around us that have seen her & the common word has been psychopathic & manipulative. Everyone has seen ALL I have done when I don't HAVE to. I did try taking everything away that I provide & not doing a thing for her & that's when she came up with the lies of me physically abusing her. She just gets into everyone else's things hiding & stealing what I don't provide for her. Dad is in denial & feels like I'm just pick g on her

I take it that you are the

I take it that you are the custodial SM. If that is the case, you are the only female role model in her life. It is actually natural for girls to go through a period of not wanting to bathe. As parents, we need to make sure that they do.

I know it is hard to do, believe me, I've been there myself, but you have to take the "step" out of the equation. What would you do if this was your own bio child? That is what you must do for this child. I would suggest you have a long talk with your DH. Tell him what your concerns are and tell him that you would like for her to get some counseling.

The biggest question I have

The biggest question I have is... Is your DH disciplining her when she tells lies, makes accusations, stealing, not following rules etc. or does he make excuses for her? My guess is the later, as if he was consistently calling her out on this nonsense and providing consequences for her bad behavior, she wouldn't continue to do it. Yes, your SD is a pain in the ass, but your DH is the bigger pain in the ass for allowing it.

Sorry if that was 4 me I

Sorry if that was 4 me I didn't mean to push that tab & NO offense taken at all! I'm grateful for finding this today & still trying to navigate my way around it. The tabs are so small on my phone didn't even notice that 1 there.

You would be correct. Just

You would be correct. Just this morning she used my boys brush after being told 3x, & just 2 days ago to use her own, especially because she doesn't like to use soap when showering!! Her dad made it about my boys being whiney babies instead of BOTTOM LINE the rule is if it's not yours don't touch it!!

Thank you, you made me smile

Thank you, you made me smile & your advice is right as I would advise someone else! Yes I have tried ALL of that I truly have & as I mentioned so have my children. I use the behavior as a teaching tool for my children of how NOT to behave. I ask nothing more then to be a respectable, well mannered young lady or boy from ALL the kids. Yes 1/2 are grown & the youngest of his is 9. The last 3 aren't his but the mom abandoned them w/a neighbor & since they were 1/2 brothers & sisters he took them instead of them going to foster care, thinking she would come back but no such luck! she hasn't been heard from in 7yrs, lucky me I don't have to deal w/baby momma drama. I only have 2 at my house because of the behaviors I had cxld our wedding until he could prove good parenting on my level. Unfortunately God has a sick sense of humor & we are pregnant even w/me taking double birthcontrol! Eeekk! The other kids are w/his mom for now due to being, for lack of better title, Crack babies & needing Dr visits, meds, Insurance & things I can't do for them at this time. I'm going to take your advice & just be more diligent about making him do EVERYTHING 4 her so he can see the struggle. I'm at my wits end & last straw!!

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