WTH? Freaky Friday strikes again?

That lady, wehaveadreamer or something, is gone? I thought she was learning, just struggling with boundaries and parenting more than anything.

I liked her! Why do people always leave just when things get interesting!

moeilijk's blog
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I do. It's because I'm Canadian. Also, I hate conflict but I like different ideas. So disagreement, as long as people can remain somewhat coherent, is interesting. And you're very coherent - you've mastered being to-the-point. (I have not.)

But I think everything from

But I think everything from her is deleted, that usually only happens if you delete your account, right? I guess she felt very threatened by something all of a sudden?

Yes, she deleted her

Yes, she deleted her account.

She'll be back. And is probably reading this. That's the way it goes.

At least she didn't post a "good bye, cruel world" blog.

Should we thank God for small

Should we thank God for small blessings? Or just lift a glass?

Both!!!

I was genuinely trying to

I was genuinely trying to give her advice on how to let go when a child is shared between two homes. It really helped me when my friend years ago told me what happens in your ex-husband's home is none of your business unless the child is true danger. I have repeated that sentence to myself many times over these past seven years.

My current husband had to be involved in BM's household only because she was engaged in a lot of criminal activity. But we still make sure she sees her daughter every year. A daughter always needs her mom. Even if it's just little visits here in there and phone calls.

But the truth is, at the end of the day you have to let go and let God. Opps, used the God word again.

It's very hard to allow your

It's very hard to allow your kid to be in someone else's care. I get it, about demanding that daycares live up to certain codes, etc. Or even limiting contact with Grandma if Grandma won't quit smoking around the baby.

To be honest, when I had DD, I felt the same way - the same protectiveness and the same sense that *I* was the only one who knew how to do 'it' right. But regular bloggers on here, particularly ripley (where is she anyways?) really showed me how unhappy that path could be. The advice she got really reminded me of the end result that I want for my kid.

So my MIL and SIL drive me bonkers. But I still encourage a relationship between them and my kid, because that's best for my kid. Even though I don't agree with them on many things, I know that they love my kid and do what they think is best - and their best isn't harmful, just annoying lol.

I'm ok with God.

You nailed it, what is best

You nailed it, what is best for your kid can be really annoying!

It seems like she is still

It seems like she is still very new to it..I get it. I remember in the beginning SD told me a story about camping with her mother. All the adults were by the camp fire while her and her sister were being watched by the drinking teenagers, some of them boys.

I thought WTH is wrong with her but you know what it isn't my business worrying did nothing and there was nothing to say to her because it was none of mine or my DF at the times concern. The kid was fine and I have learned that I really don't care I just want to be a wife to my husband and am eagerly awaiting them to get to the age they don't visit as much and he can create his own relationship with them.

Yeah I did too. I did it all

Yeah I did too. I did it all forced Christmas's and birthday parties all so unnatural. I am glad to say it didn't take me long to take a step back and just be and do what I want. If DH is looking for someone to mother his kids he should either look else where or try to work things out with BM either way he is free to go.

That's the specialness of

That's the specialness of stephell. It's fake! What would happen if we were all just left to freaking BE!! Ofc in the beginning of all relationships it's all roses and puppies, but once things are normal - what is this push for 'ideal' that never existed in the first place?

I've noticed that the happiest steps are always the ones who are confident in themselves, set boundaries with anyone and everyone they need to, and have a partner who adores them. That partner can still be cuckoo for cocoa puffs for the skid, but as long as the step isn't disrespected as part of that, it all seems fine.

She got on my last nerve, so

She got on my last nerve, so I quit posting to her threads because it was clear the advice I had to give, and the way I was giving it, was not working.

However, others gave her great advice in a manner I thought she was understanding. Especially moeilijk! I don't understand why she would leave when she was receiving heartfelt and constructive advice.

That's me Yeah, she was

That's me

Yeah, she was really struggling to understand about boundaries. I think she is probably a very loving person who feels insecure a lot of the time. Setting boundaries, making decisions, practicing mindfulness can really help with that.

Plus, taking care of a 4 year old is a lot of work. She just wanted to do a good job, but 4 year olds don't come with an instruction manual.

I agree with you, plus I

I agree with you, plus I think she has major control issues. And one thing I think all of us have learned in step hell is you have to let go of control, even in your own house. That was a really hard lesson for me to learn, and I still struggle with it at times. Because my way is the best way dammit. }:)

Well, yeah. You saw my rant

Well, yeah. You saw my rant on the Women Wednesday thread about my inlaws? Aaargh. Anyways, I know that my way is the best way... and to allow other people to do things their own (wrong) way is very difficult. But it's also kind of freeing. Not at first, just when you realize that if you let them make the tea it's never quite the way you like it.. but you didn't have to make it yourself and that's a good thing (will Martha Stewart ever die, do you think?)

Lol. And no one ever makes my

Lol. And no one ever makes my cocktails correctly, only I make the best cocktails.

I think you are right, she

I think you are right, she was very controlling. But I could really see that coming from a place of insecurity rather than natural bitch. She wasn't mean or anything, just really rigid. Some people are and you can argue until you're blue in the face, they are steadfast. And usually steadfastness is a great quality... but in the extreme, it's inflexibility and inability to adapt.

She seemed intelligent and wanted to have different viewpoints, she just (over)reacted to perceived confrontation.

IMHO, of course. I think it's so great that so many people were trying to help her. Of course it's frustrating when people ask for your advice and then tell you why it won't work (or why you're wrong!!!). Arrrgh!

Damn...I was just coming back

Damn...I was just coming back on to see how her blog was doing.

She didn't seem to like the fact we didn't support the idea of getting into the BM's business. She didn't seem to see how that can quickly turn around on her at any given point.

I tried to give her some real life advice too.

Step life is incredibly difficult for control freaks. They tend to get too involved, especially with anything having to do with the BM. A factor they can never control.

I was actually typing a reply

I was actually typing a reply to your comment when her blog disappeared.

On her previous blog, I had suggested she call her Aunt and Uncle to explain that she was nervous about SD and didn't know what to expect, which you thought was bad form. Which is probably true, but I would have still called.

Maybe SD is a delight, maybe she's a hellion. But the poster was afraid Aunt and Uncle would be disappointed in her if SD misbehaved. So I would have brought that up rather than wait for a problem to appear.

But that's my way of being controlling