This is an atypical post for me. Usually, I regard SD11 as a spoiled, entitled brat, which she still is a lot of the time, but I have noticed several things lately:

NOBODY puts money in her lunch account at school. It seems as though SO puts some in, then when it runs out,its like a standoff between him and BM to see which one will cave first. (Like, "I put some in her account, now it's your turn" type of thing) She has seriously been negative for about a month- I know because the school calls and emails twice a day.

NOBODY has provided SD with her outfit for orchestra, and she has her first concert next Tuesday. The list of what was acceptable to wear for performances was sent home with the school supply list in mid-August. SD has none of it except maybe the shoes. BM was supposedly going to get it for her, and then last night SD was telling us all of the stores where we could go shopping to get her stuff. So she still has nothing.

They (BM, SO and all-knowing MIL) let her play a Volleyball tournament last night wearing see-through 1987 Rudy Huxtable wardrobe plaid pajama short shorts. How is it OK that they all knew she had to supply her own shorts, that she did not have any that were appropriate, and just let her go out in front of everyone wearing that crap? I was horrified for her, our entire family, and everyone that was attending. (I did not attend the game, as it started @ 3:30 and I had a meeting after work with BD9, but I did see her when she arrived home afterwards.)

She still, somehow, NEVER has underwear that fit. I broke down and got her 2 8-packs, which were impossible to find in her size. (She is about 5'6" and maybe 90 lbs, so I had to buy XS women's, since freaking little girl underwear DO NOT FIT HER!) She has about 3 pairs total left, (not enough for SUN-THUR that she spends with us every wk) plus a bunch of too small ones that I assume she wore back from BM's house. I started throwing away the little girls size 10 and 12, and now I must have tossed all those because now the 14's are coming home... NONE of which fit her. She does, however, have about 12 bras at all times even though she is flat as a pancake, so glad we got our priorities together.

I just don't understand how nobody can take care of this shit. It's ONE child. Between BM, SO, and MIL who can't stay out of our business ever, how can she not have the things she needs? I should not ever HAVE to spend my $ on SD11, because she has enough other people in her life that should be able to be adults and provide for her. (Preferably her actual freaking PARENTS!)