I'm looking into the same. I'm not clear enough with my expectations and dh isn't receptive. He says he is...he's one of those when we have an issue to discuss he shuts down and the only thing that comes out of his mouth is yes's and I agree ' s. It makes me want to bang my head against the wall. He doesn't communicate with me well either. We live in a very small country town...nearest counseling facility is an hour away. Dh works in the oilfield out of state and only home 7 days a month. I'm pretty much thinking we are screwed here...
Good Luck to you and you H though!

H and I were separated all of 2014, after he accepted a position in Hawaii and moved there. I was heavily opposed to this move, mostly for financial reasons but he did it anyway.

I stayed in Oregon.

About a month after he left, he called and asked if I would consider counseling. I asked him why did he want counseling. My question threw him off and he got very angry and asked what I meant by my question.

I responded "Do you want to fix our marriage or are you only interested in getting validation for your choice?"

Which pissed him off more and he came back with "Fix our marriage of course!!"

I left it to him. I told him to set it up. To find someone who would work with us in our circumstances (him in HI and me on the mainland).

I didn't hear back from him for two weeks. I assumed the problem solved itself and we were done. Then he called and told me he had it all set up.

We've been in counseling since about late March or early April of 2014. It's helped some. The counselor suggested we'd make more headway if H started seeing someone on his own. He had some personal issues to work through which were holding him back in our marriage. He's been seeing a therapist every other week.

At the end of 2014, I moved to Hawaii. We've had our ups and downs since the move. He had a two month window where he wasn't seeing his therapist. A window in which he screwed the pooch again and I nearly left him this summer because of it. He now knows my line in the sand and understands if he effs up the same way again....he and I are done.

Go ahead and set it up. Communication issues probably wreck more marriages than anything else.

However understand that relationships with marriage counselors are like any other relationship. One size does not fit all. You both should be comfortable with your choice in counselor and they should be unbiased. Find someone who has dealt with blended family issues, as well as repairing communication issues.

Good luck Stepmom. My DH and I would occasionally run into the communication gap. But, we were able to establish expectations, like no interrupting and it's important to acknowledge feelings (that was mine. I'm a logical person but rarely my feelings cloud my judgment. If I get to talk through it, rational robin emerges.)

We still run into the apples and oranges thing but it is so much better and we are incredibly happy. I wish that for you. I think a counselor is a great idea.